Often in the workplace or in a neighbourhood, a narcissist targets someone. They may be deliberately hostile to their target. Use them as a scapegoat. Pick fault with everything they do. And smear them to everyone else.
This can be incredibly distressing for the victim. Especially if it’s difficult to get away from the narcissist.
From the perspective of the victim, there’s no reason why they’re singled out. But in the narcissists mind, they’re fully justified.
Narcissists don’t think like the rest of us. And there’s a whole bunch of reasons why they might target you. And these reasons might not make sense to neuro-typicals. But they do to narcissists.
Here’s some reasons why a narcissist might target you…
Please Check Out The Following Video To Help Your Understanding…
They’re Jealous Of You
There’s a million reasons why a narcissist might be jealous of you. You might be wealthier than them. Better looking. More charismatic. More intelligent, etc.
Everything is a competition with narcissists. And they often have specific areas where they’re hyper competitive. And if you “beat” them in one of these areas, then the gloves are off.
Instead of using this as motivation to improve themselves, most narcissists take the easy option. And try to tear you down.
They reason that if they take you down, then it somehow lifts them up. Because now they’re above you. Even though their position in life hasn’t changed one jot.
They Can’t Control You
Most narcissists are used to having control over people around them. In fact it’s essential to them. So if they can’t control you, then it might set them off into targeting you.
They may try to put you down, and boss you about. In a desperate attempt to control you. And if you continue to resist, then they may become more bitter and hostile towards you.
Some narcissists need control so much, that they consider it an insult if they don’t get it. And they may wage a war with increasing intensity, to bring you under their control.
They Think You’ve Challenged Them
Narcissists are extremely thin skinned. And something you consider innocuous, may be taken as a direct challenge.
You might for example politely disagree with them about something. And rather than respect your views, the narcissist sees this as a personal attack. Because they have delusions of grandeur that they don’t want shattered. And you disagreeing with them is saying that they’re less than perfect. So they now seek revenge.
Narcissists also expect special treatment. Even if they’ve done nothing to deserve it. And if you treat them the same as everybody else, then they may take this as a direct challenge. And target you in response.
Please CLICK HERE For Why Narcissists Make YOU Their Rival
You Have Weak Boundaries
A narcissist may target you simply because they can. Many narcissists are bully’s. And if they can get away with treating someone badly, then they will.
Narcissists have difficulty respecting other peoples boundaries. So if you want them to be respected, you have to draw the line and enforce it.
This is an unusual position for most of us. Because we’re used to dealing with neuro-typicals, who automatically respect our boundaries. But when you’re dealing with a narcissist, you don’t get this automatic right.
So if you don’t want them to target you, then you must set some clear boundaries to yourself. So you know where your line is. Writing them down adds to the clarity. Then don’t allow anyone to push beyond your clearly defined boundaries.
You’re A People Pleaser
People pleasers are perfect for narcissists. Because narcissists want to take. And people pleasers want to give.
People pleasers are flexible and accommodating. And will accompany a narcissist to a concert that they don’t want to go to. Yet don’t expect the same favour in return. Which is good news for the narcissist, because they don’t want to give.
Narcissists have no qualms exploiting people pleasers. Because they feel entitled. And they lack the empathy to care about their needs.
Narcissists are happy as long as they get what they want. And they don’t want the party to stop. So they may continually target a people pleaser. Even if they try to avoid the narcissist. Because to the narcissist, they’re an asset worth having around.
You Have High Levels Of Empathy
Most narcissists can smell someone with high levels of empathy. Like a shark smells a drop of blood from a mile away.
Narcissists often target highly empathic people. Because the narcissist holds a significant advantage over them.
Highly empathetic people feel other peoples pain. So they’re easy prey if the narcissist plays the victim. Because the empath feels bad for them. And wants to alleviate their unpleasant feelings by helping them.
Empathetic people also feel bad after a conflict. And may feel unsettled for days, even weeks. Whereas narcissists sleep like a baby, with no ill feelings.
This gives narcissists the advantage. Because if they want something, then they can threaten to turn it into an argument. And the empath is likely to back down.
You’re Forgiving In Nature
Most of us are brought up to see the virtue in forgiving. And there’s nothing wrong with this – to a point.
The problem is when narcissists take advantage of your forgiving nature. And after a while you’re not forgiving them, but enabling them.
Narcissists target forgiving people because they know they can use and abuse them. Then play nice for a while, and alls forgiven.
This allows them to exploit the same person over and over again. And their forgiving nature keeps them in the loop of being treated badly, then good for a while. Then badly again.
You’re Religious
Some narcissists target religious people. And may even join their religion. This can look accommodating from the outside. But it probably isn’t when you’re dealing with narcissists.
Narcissists often use religion for their own selfish means. And may study the religion so they can twist it’s meanings to suit their own agenda. Plus they enjoy the kudos of being religious. For instance they may claim you should always forgive them, because Jesus taught forgiveness.
Some religious people can be controlled to extraordinary levels, if someone can convince them of their twisted interpretation of their religion. Which is how some cults are formed.
Final Thoughts
These are just some of the reasons why a narcissist might target you. But it could be that there’s no reason.
Some narcissists like to have a battle to fight. And when one battle ends, they look for another. So you might be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
But whatever the reason, you can’t win in a battle with a narcissist. They enjoy the conflict and drama. And get energised from it. Whereas it’s likely to drain you. And cause stress and more health issues.
So if you can, get away from the narcissist. Change departments at work, or move to another company. Move house if you have to. Because regardless of whether it’s fair, it’s your mental health at stake.
Please CLICK HERE For How To Go No Contact With A Narcissist
My narcissistic daughter targeted me to cope with her issues of an extreme narcissist of a father. She destroyed relationships in the entire family that can’t be repaired , whilst he watched. I regret not seeing her anxiety as a child & helping her cope but as an adult she made her own choices.
Do mot stay in any relationship or friendship with a narcissist. They will never change . They are demons