Whilst you innocently go about life, the narcissist is quietly seething. In your world, you’ve done nothing wrong. You’ve never hurt the narcissist, so everything’s cool. But the narcissist has other ideas.
The narcissist singles you out. And treats you worse than everyone else. For no apparent reason.
If it’s in the workplace, then the narcissist may criticise your work. Put you down in front of others. And report anything remotely resembling a “mistake”.
If it’s a neighbour, then they might complain about the slightest murmur emanating from your home. Gossip about you to the other neighbours. And criticise your choice in vehicles, job, curtains, wallpaper, etc.
In the narcissists world, you’re their fierce rival. And they try their best to compete with you. Put you down. And grind you into the dirt.
What have you done to nominated the narcissists rival? Why have they singled you out, and not anyone else? In this article I’ll discuss why narcissists make certain people their rival…
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People Like You
If you’re kind and empathetic, then people warm to you. And want to spend time with you. And it’s effortless, because it’s who you are.
Narcissists desperately want to be liked and admired. So they put on a façade that’s kind and considerate. In the hope of becoming popular. But they usually fail miserably.
It’s difficult pretending to be someone you’re not. And the narcissist makes mistakes. They drop their mask from time to time, revealing their narcissistic side. And they don’t always know how to act kind. So it can come across as fake, insincere, and even a little creepy.
So the narcissist may be secretly jealous of your empathic qualities. And your effortless ability to draw people towards you. But they want to prove to themselves and others that they’re better than you.
Since they’re fighting a losing battle in the popularity stakes, the narcissist may project their failings onto you. And kid themselves that you’re the one pretending to be nice, not them.
Since the narcissist can’t compete with your empathy, they resort to tearing you down instead. And change the competition from “who’s the nicest” to “who can bully who”. Because it’s a game they can win.
This is why the narcissist may be ultra nice to people around you. Yet cruel and bullying towards you. They want everyone to like them. And they want to put you in your place.
You Got “Their” Job
If it’s in the workplace, then the narcissist may be rivals with someone who landed “their” job. And in my experience, this can work two ways.
In the first scenario, you both applied for a promotion, and you pipped them to the post. So the narcissist is seething inside. And may struggle to hide their contempt behind clenched teeth.
In the second scenario, the narcissist may have changed roles in the company, and you take their previous position. In this case, the narcissist doesn’t want you to outperform them in the same job.
In both cases, the narcissist is desperate for you to fail. Because they have delusions of superiority. And to maintain them, they must beat you.
So the narcissist is motivated to sabotage you. And make you seem incompetent in your new role. Because they cannot handle you being “better” than them.
They may jump over any mistake you make. And create problems that never existed. Anything to make you look bad. And it feels unnerving knowing they’re watching your every move.
You’re Better Looking Than Them
If the narcissist prides themselves on their looks, then they might consider you a rival if you’re more attractive than them. Especially if they’re used to being the best looking person in the room.
The narcissist may criticise your clothes. Your hair style. Your physical features. Anything they can get hold of. And bombard you with snide comments to knock your confidence.
The narcissist hopes to plant the seed that you’re less attractive than them. And their snide comments are designed to drag you down. So you withdraw into yourself, and no longer outshine them.
You’re More Intelligent Than Them
If the narcissist is cerebral, then they might take exception if you’re more intelligent than them. So they make it their life’s mission to prove they’re the cleverest.
This may involve putting you down for your thoughts, actions, and opinions. Using convoluted language to confuse and intimidate. And generally be a know-it-all around you.
This intellectual rivalry means they may pick fault in almost everything you say and do. Because they become obsessed with beating you in the brains department.
You Beat Them In Their Area Of “Expertise”
Narcissists often take particular pride in a few specific areas of their life. Like I mentioned above, it could be looks or intelligence. But it could be other things too, such as wealth, career, musical ability, or sports for example.
Narcissists may grudgingly accept second best in areas they deem less important. Because they can reassure themselves that they’re superior in more “important” areas.
But if you beat them in an area that’s precious to them, then it’s likely to trigger a rivalry. Whether you like it or not. Because they can’t accept being second best. Not when they’re convinced they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately everyone is the narcissists rival. Because they constantly measure themselves against the people around them. And they want to be the best.
But they keep a lid on their jealousy most of the time. Although it may surface with the occasional snide comment. Or insult dressed as a “joke”. But if you beat them in an area that’s precious to them, then it could start a rivalry.
Part of the narcissists defence is convincing themselves that they’re superior. And they need it to keep their grandiose false self alive.
You beating them is a reminder that they’re nothing special. And this can cause them to rage inside, and plot your downfall.
Just remember, it’s nothing personal. They feel threatened by you because they can’t handle you “beating” them. Even though you’re not competing. And you’re not showing off.
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“{Narcissists} don’t always know how to act kind. So it can come across as fake, insincere, and even a little creepy.”
Don’t I know it!