One thing many people notice during a relationship with a narcissist is their health deteriorates. They often gain or lose weight. Suffer from anxiety or depression. And pick up other health problems, usually stress related. They tend to look older and worn out.

The good news is this can be reversed once the relationship is over.

Within a few weeks of ending my 12 year relationship with a narcissist, many people commented on how well I looked.

Peering back through old photographs, I definitely looked worse during my relationship. But when it was over, I bounced back. Many people I’ve talked to say the same thing.

Here’s some reasons why your health gets worse around narcissists…

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Drama

Narcissists get bored easily. So they invite drama into their lives. And they take you on their roller-coaster ride.

Most people find drama stressful. And years of constant drama takes it’s toll. Especially amongst conscientious and caring people.

Narcissists cause arguments, and fall out with people for dubious reasons. And expect their nearest and dearest to back them unquestioningly. Regardless of whether they’re right or wrong.

I know from personal experience the stress of being expected to back someone when they’re clearly in the wrong. You’re put in a double bind.

You don’t want to go against your nearest and dearest, but you don’t want to back someone who’s out of order. Being “damned if you do, and damned if you don’t” raises your stress levels through the roof. Harming your mental and physical health.

You Look After Them

Narcissists engineer relationships to become all about them. With your role being their carer. Many narcissists play the victim or exaggerate illnesses to demand care. And after a while, it’s a given that you care for them.

Years of being in a one-way relationship takes its toll. You care for the narcissist almost like a child. Whilst taking care of other responsibilities. You might not notice the stress. But it adds up over time. And it wears you out, impacting your health.

You Receive Little Support

One of a narcissists aims in a relationship is to take as much as they can, whilst giving as little as possible. So they’re not forthcoming with helping you.

When the chips are down, the narcissist flees. Leaving you to fend for yourself. This wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t do so much for them.

Most narcissists don’t care if you’ve helped them through their difficulties. The first sign you need help, and they’re off.

Being without support hits you hard emotionally. And is a big contributor to many mental health issues.

Please CLICK HERE For How To Stay Calm Around A Narcissist

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Mind Games

Narcissists are masters of mind games. Some are subtle, and others more obvious.

Narcissists often put down their nearest and dearest in subtle ways. If you call them out, they deny it, or accuse you of being sensitive. This keeps you taking their negativity almost daily. As you’re confused with what’s going on.

Narcissists often employ gaslighting. This is where they get someone questioning their take on reality. They might move your possessions, then deny doing this. Then convince you your memory is failing. Or repeatedly call you crazy, or accuse you of having a poor memory. Once you doubt your perceptions, they can lie and cheat, and blame your memory or perception.

These mind games cause “cognitive dissonance”, where you’re unsure what to feel. Part of you suspects the narcissist is up to no good. But another part believes their lies and manipulations. I mean, what “loved one” would deliberately do these things? It’s a stressful and confusing place to be.

Narcissists also play the “nice act” when they want something. Or when they sense they’ve pushed you too far. But inevitably they revert back to their selfish nasty ways. This keeps you on edge, not sure what to expect. Keeping you unsettled and anxious.

Push Responsibilities Onto You

Over time, narcissists push their responsibilities onto you. It’s YOU who worries about paying the mortgage. It’s you who cooks and cleans. And you that organises everything else.

Narcissists usually push away their responsibilities gradually. They may be fairly organised in the beginning of a relationship. But after a while they neglect certain things. And to get them done, you end up taking over. Gradually you take care of more things, until you find yourself taking care of EVERYTHING.

All this responsibility is draining. Because you are responsible for two adults. Plus any children you may have.

And the narcissist often exacerbates your responsibilities. They may spend too much money. Mess up the house. Drink too much. And deliberately cause mayhem. Leave you pulling your hair out in frustration, as you’re picking up the pieces. Whilst they sit back and relax.

And if you say anything, you’re led on a merry-go-round of circular arguments. Which get you nowhere.

Little Time For Self Care

Whilst caring for the narcissist and their responsibilities, you have little time to care for yourself.

Going to the gym or cooking healthy meals is the least of your worries. And hobbies – forget it.

Around a narcissist, getting through the day is arduous. And you probably feel you don’t need to add to the pressure by doing anything extra curricular. So self care flies out the window.

If you do something positive for yourself, the narcissist may sabotage it. They might criticise you for wasting money. Tell you how selfish you’re being. Accuse you of having an affair. Or ridicule you until you stop.

Narcissists Cause Stress

It’s safe to say that being around a narcissist is stressful. Stress is known to weaken your immune system. Which leaves you vulnerable to pretty much any illness.

Stress also increases levels of stress hormones in your body. Which puts you at risk of more health issues. Such as weight gain, heart disease, digestive issues, sleep problems, and more.

The human body is only designed to experience stress for short periods of time. Years of constant stress takes it toll on your mental and physical health. And can affect your appearance.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists drain people of their health and vitality. They grab as much as they can, whilst giving little in return. And to top it off, they deliberately sabotage you to push you on the back foot.

Narcissists see others as commodities to be used. And forget they’re people with needs and wants of their own.

Most people leave relationships with narcissists in worse health than they started. But like I said, you CAN turn things around.

Take care of yourself. Find physical activities you enjoy. Whether it’s playing sport, going to the gym, walking, or whatever.

Explore new hobbies, and discover old ones. Make
new friends. And reconnect with those you lost contact with. Find
positive things to do with your time. And learn to love life once
more.

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