Narcissists fake emotions to get what they want. And also to create the impression they’re kinder and more empathetic than they really are. This helps them blend in, and get by in life.
Learning about the emotions narcissists fake, helps you see through their charade. And helps you navigate their attempts to manipulate. Because as with most things, they’re fairly formulaic.
So to help you, here’s some of the common emotions narcissists fake, plus why they do it…
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Fake Anger
Narcissists sometimes fake anger to intimidate. Because they know that if they act super angry, people tiptoe around them. And this makes them feel powerful, which is always welcomed.
Fake anger helps narcissists if they’re being confronted over their behaviour. Because they don’t want a rational conversation, as that might be exposed. So they turn things ugly to muddy the waters, and avoid being held accountable for their actions.
People usually feel intimidated by angry narcissists, and try to calm them down. So they abandon their confrontation in the name of peace, allowing the narcissist to get away scot-free. This is a tried and tested tactic for most narcissists.
Fake Tears
This is a favourite amongst female narcissists. But male narcissists are also known to fake tears.
Like fake anger, fake tears can be used to shut down conversations they don’t want. Because when the narcissist cries, people feel sorry for them. And stop challenging them, as they feel responsible for the âhurtâ. Even though it was the narcissists behaviour that created the need for this conversation in the first place.
Fake tears may also be used to gain sympathy and attention as they play the victim. They may for example claim that someone has treated them badly. And turn on the waterworks for a powerful affect, because most people want to help someone who’s âupsetâ.
Narcissists know that they can turn on the tears, and well-meaning people come rallying round to help them. Providing them with attention and favours.
Fake Sorrow
When pushed into a corner, narcissists may fake sorrow. And apologise for how they treated someone. This is usually after their denials and blame shifting hasn’t worked.
Fake sorrow is a means to an end. Rather than a genuine expression of feeling bad for their actions. And is often a last resort to get them off the hook.
Fake sorrow is effective, because the recipient believes the narcissist feels bad for the harm they’ve caused. So they forgive and forget, because it’s the right thing to do. And assume they’ve learnt from their mistake.
Someone who genuinely feels bad, makes sure they don’t do it again. Because the hurt they felt was distressing. But narcissists have little to no emotional empathy. So they don’t feel the hurt of others. And are likely to repeat the same behaviour in the future. Because they got away with it last time.
Fake Happiness
A narcissist might fake happiness to make others jealous. They may paint a picture of blissful joy over their social media. Just to prove how great they are, and what a wonderful life they lead.
Narcissists are all show. And care more about appearing to have a great life than they do on actually having one. Because the display is more important than the reality.
Narcissists are notorious for faking happiness with their new relationships â just to get at their ex’s. And may post flattering pictures of their âgreat lifeâ. When behind closed doors, the reality is usually very different.
Fake Interest
A narcissist might fake interest in different things, for various reasons. They commonly fake interest in their new flames hobbies. Especially during the initial love bombing stage.
In this case, the narcissist may pretend to like the same things, just to win them over. And make them think they’ve found their soul mate. But once they’ve reeled them in, their âinterestsâ quickly fade.
Narcissists may also fake interest in what others are saying. Particularly if they want to impress them. But the clue they weren’t listening is when they fail to retain the conversation. And barely remember a word.
Narcissists may also fake interest in things that portray an image they want. For instance, they may fake an interest in literature to appear intelligent. And build a large collection of books they never read. Or fake an interest in fine wines, if they want to appear sophisticated.
Narcissists may also virtue signal over social media. And post articles about good causes and issues they claim are close to their heart. But it’s all for show. And they rarely read the things they display.
Nostalgia
Narcissists sometimes fake nostalgia to gain compliance from others. Because they know that âweakâ empaths are emotionally attached to âthe good old daysâ. And look back fondly through rose tinted spectacles.
If they’re trying to hoover back an old flame, the narcissist may send pictures of days out they had together. Or talk about how they miss the past. But they don’t really care about nostalgia. It’s just a tool to get people thinking emotionally, and abandon their logic.
Fake Humour
Narcissists often fake laughter at other peoples jokes. And sometimes laugh inappropriately loud at weak quips. There’s a couple of reasons why they do this.
The first is that narcissists struggle to understand certain types of humour. They usually understand aggressive forms of humour, such as slapstick, ridicule, and sarcasm. But they’re not so good at understanding humour that requires empathy, such as jokes designed to help people feel at ease. Or jokes that require them to think from someone else’s perspective. So they may fake laughter to fit in.
Narcissists also fake laughter to flatter someone and win them over. Especially if they hold the keys to something they want. For example, they may laugh uncontrollably at the bad jokes their boss tells. Or die laughing at the throwaway lines from someone they want to seduce.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists use emotions to draw people in by making themselves appear more likeable and caring. But they also use emotions to hurt, intimidate, and frighten. Getting people walking on eggshells and doing as they’re told.
Narcissists often decide which emotion to âfeelâ based on what’s advantageous at the time. This is why they can move swiftly from one emotion to another. Narcissists can be in a blind rage one minute, then sweetness and light the next. And vice versa.
So always take narcissists âemotionsâ with a pinch of salt. Because as with most things with narcissists, they’re often used for personal gain. And sometimes this comes at your cost.
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