I think it’s fair to say that despite their troubled minds, narcissists generally attract their fair share of lovers. And people often fall for their charms.
As I’m sure you’re aware, narcissists make lousy partners. They’re selfish and lacking in empathy. And don’t consider anyone’s needs. So why would people fall for them?
To answer why people are attracted to narcissists, we must acknowledge evolution. Because we’re hard wired to find certain things attractive to help our survival, and our offspring’s. And sometimes we subconsciously consider these things, without our conscious awareness.
If you keep finding yourself in relationships with narcissists, then it’s important to find out why you’re attracted to them. Because this helps break their spell.
So here’s a few reasons why many people are attracted to narcissists…
Please Check Out This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
Confidence
Generally speaking, someone with confidence has abilities. They know they’re capable. And are comfortable in what they can do.
People are naturally attracted to confidence, especially women. Because it usually equates with high capabilities. Which means they’re good providers and protectors, which is essential for survival.
Most narcissists are confident, or know how to fake it. They either believe they’re God’s gift. Or they hide their deficiencies behind a confident persona. And many people find this confidence attractive. Even when it’s fake.
People who aren’t narcissists tend to appear less confident. They know they’re fallible, and they understand their limitations. So they don’t come across as super confident, because they’re more true to their real selves. But they may come across as less capable, even if their abilities are actually superior.
Brag
Narcissists are addicted to themselves. And aren’t shy about singing their own praises. And this bolsters the perception that they’re highly capable.
People who make better long term partners are usually more modest. Because they’re less self absorbed. And these people are often hidden gems. But that’s the problem – they’re hidden.
Narcissists take centre stage. And tell everyone how great they are. So they’re more likely to be noticed. And more likely to catch someone’s eye.
Exaggerate
Narcissists are more likely to exaggerate or lie about past achievements. And this works most of the time, because people generally trust what they say. Especially those who are honest.
We tend to assume that people think in a similar way to ourselves. And honest people assume that others are honest too. So they’re more likely to be taken in by the narcissists wild claims.
These exaggerations give narcissists the edge over their honest rivals. Because honest people stick to the truth, even though it’s less glamorous. But this can give the impression that they’re less interesting and exciting. Giving narcissists the win.
Please CLICK HERE For Who Attracts Narcissists
Fun
Some narcissists are fun to be around. And their carefree attitude makes them the life and soul of the party.
This quality makes them attractive, because ultimately life’s to be enjoyed. And someone fun is more attractive than a stick-in-the-mud.
But people don’t realise that this carefree attitude envelopes their whole life. Making them reckless and irresponsible. And their jovial natures are all for show. Meaning that once you’re ensnared, the fun’ stops.
Appearance
When it comes to appearance, narcissists are divided into two camps. Some put little effort into their appearance. Because they believe they look fantastic no matter what. Whereas others put an extraordinary amount of time and effort into how they look.
The latter may regularly attend the gym. Visit the sunbed centre. And spend as much as they can on clothes, jewellery, and other adornments. I’ve even heard of narcissists who brush their teeth six or seven times a day.
These narcissists value their appearance so much, that others can’t compete. Because no one of sound mind would go to such lengths.
Compliments
Most narcissists learn what to say to woo the objects of their desires. They’re prepared to lay the charm on thick, and say what someone wants to hear. Regardless of their real thoughts and feelings.
A narcissist will tell someone they’re the most beautiful person on earth. Even if they don’t believe it. But it’s not every day someone says this. And it’s difficult not to be flattered.
We’re hard wired to find people more attractive if they’re attracted to us. And narcissists lay it on thick, giving them the advantage over their honest rivals.
Target Younger More Naïve
Narcissists often target people who are younger and/or have less life experience. And they do this because they’re easier to manipulate.
Younger people tend to have a more fairy tale attitude towards relationships. Like the universe divinely brings together people who are meant to be. And narcissists play on this.
A favourite is to repeatedly drum in the idea that they’re soul mates, kindred spirits, or other similar terms. And convince them that they have a special bond that cannot be broken.
This draws people to fall for the narcissist. Because it creates the illusion that they’re the only ones for them.
Upbringing
Through luck or judgement, narcissists target co-dependent people. And many targets have been raised by a narcissist parent.
People from narcissist parents are often drawn to narcissists, because their behaviours seem normal and familiar. And they may prefer to be told what to do, if their confidence is low.
As children we often see our parents relationships as blueprints for our own. And if you’re raised in a toxic environment, then this is what you expect. You may even seek it out, because this is your norm.
However you can learn what a healthy relationship should be like, and change your thinking. So you can move past an attraction to narcissists.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists have a greater need to be in relationships than most people. Because they need narcissistic supply like most people need oxygen. And relationships are the most reliable sources of supply.
Even if they’re not looking for a relationship, narcissists need external validation. And are desperate for people to find them attractive. Because it confirms their delusions of superiority.
Narcissists have a greater incentive to learn the skills to attract others. And they put more effort into making themselves seem more attractive. Whether it’s in their appearance, the amount of people they approach, a false persona, or even their choice of work.
Narcissists have a burning desire to be attractive. Because it supports their flaky self esteem. But whilst it may be good for them to attract as many people as possible, it’s not good for you.
Please CLICK HERE For How Narcissists Build Harems Of Admirers
