Some people go through life never experiencing the delights of narcissists. Whereas others (including me!) have a life crammed full of them.
This can leave you scratching your head, wondering, “Why do I attract narcissists?”
Is it coincidence? No. It’s about your personality and personal circumstances.
I’m not victim blaming, I’m being realistic. Narcissists gravitate towards certain people. Maybe you’re one of them?
It’s useful to learn who attracts narcissists. Because then you can make adjustments to move away from appearing to be their type. Then you won’t attract as many.
Here’s the type of people that attract narcissists…
Please Watch This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
People With A Narcissist Parent
Narcissist parents often mould their children to their cater for their own needs. Rather than the other way round. So they may withhold love and affection, unless they do things for them.
Sadly, children of narcissists learn that love is earned. Rather than given unconditionally. So they get in the habit of doing things for other people, to earn love. Even if it’s to their own detriment.
Whilst this is great for narcissist parents, it’s also great for other narcissists. Because this becomes an ingrained habit from a young age. So other narcissists smell this need to please. Which brings them flocking.
So even if they escape the clutches of a narcissist parent, they’re likely to find themselves in narcissist relationships and friendships. Sadly I hear many stories of people from narcissist parents living a life filled with even more narcissists.
People With Low Self Esteem
Narcissists often target people with low self esteem. Because they’re usually easier to control.
People with low self esteem respond better to narcissists carrot and the stick tactics. This is where they praise and reward behaviours they want to encourage. And criticise and punish behaviours they want to discourage.
So the narcissist may be the nicest person ever, when you do as you’re told. But turn into a tyrant when you defy their orders or expectations. Eventually this moulds someone into focussing on pleasing the narcissist. Whilst putting their own wants and needs aside.
Someone with low self esteem is far more likely to fall prey to these tactics. Because they rely on others to build them up. Rather than on their own internal self esteem.
Religious People
Some narcissists target religious people. Whether or not they’re religious themselves.
Narcissists don’t care about religion. Only what it can do for them. And this gives them a huge advantage over genuinely religious people.
Narcissists know that religious people care deeply about their religion. And strive to follow it as best they can. So they play this against them, to gain control.
They may bend religious doctrines to suit their agendas. Use marriage to lock them in. And create a culture of sacrifice and control, that they don’t adhere to themselves.
A classic narcissist trick is to say that you must forgive them, no matter what, because this is what Jesus taught. However this isn’t true!
Religion also gives narcissists the added benefit of publicly appearing good. People often assume that religious followers must be virtuous. Which allows them to hide in plain sight, and draw more people to them.
Useful People
Narcissists often target people who are useful to them. It may be someone with money, who’s willing to share. Someone who’s good at DIY, and willing to help. Or even someone well connected that can introduce them to more useful people.
A narcissist may also befriend their boss at work. So they get special favours and clout. Then they can share their bosses power, without the responsibility that goes with it.
Go With The Flow People
Narcissists love people who go with the flow. Because they facilitate the narcissist.
Most narcissists hate doing things alone. Because they want validation, and they want to look popular. So they love people who accompany them to things they want to do. But they rarely return the favour.
People Pleasers
People pleasers have an excessive need to be liked by others. So they often put their own needs, wants, and opinions aside, to cater for others. Even if it’s to their detriment.
Narcissists love people pleasers for obvious reasons. They know they can consistently take, without giving in return. Which is all narcissists want from relationships.
People High In Empathy
People high in empathy are the yin to the narcissists yang. They’re a perfect fit.
Empaths feel for others. Whereas narcissists don’t. And this is attractive for narcissists, because they can take advantage of this, by playing their empathy against them. Usually by guilt tripping, threatening to cause arguments, and playing the victim.
This is an easy one-sided fight. Since they’re immune to people playing on their non-existent empathy.
Empathic people also have another use. They’re good to mirror.
Narcissists like to fake they’re empathic, to help draw people to them. So they may copy empathic traits from people in their life, to create the impression they have empathy.
People With Few Friends And family
Narcissists eyes light up when they meet isolated people with few friends and family. Because they’re more likely to be needy and controllable. Plus crucially, they don’t have support.
Without support, narcissists can get away with more. Because you don’t have anyone to sound off to, and check their behaviours with.
Without a reality check, you’re more likely to believe their narrative of events. And turn a blind eye to their narcissistic behaviours.
Also, most narcissists are bullies. And like most bullies, they don’t want anyone fighting back. So they’re more comfortable abusing someone with no allies.
So if you’re a lone wolf, it’s worth giving the impression you’re well connected when you meet new people. As this may weed out narcissists.
People Who Make Them Look Good
Narcissists are all about appearance. So they may be attracted to people who make them look good.
There’s a wide scope of people that narcissists consider make them look good. For instance, someone successful may help them look successful by association. But on the flip side, someone unsuccessful may make them feel successful by comparison.
Narcissists may also target younger, more beautiful people. Especially if they’re older and successful themselves. Because they can associate with youth and beauty.
On the flip side, a younger narcissist may target an older more successful narcissist. Even if they’re not physically attractive. Just to take advantage of their wealthy and successful image.
Echoists
An echoist is the polar opposite of a narcissist. They shun the spotlight. And feel uncomfortable receiving help, attention, or praise.
Echosists differ from people pleasers. They don’t prioritise others because they want to be liked. They do it because they have an almost pathological fear of being seen as selfish or narcissistic. Often because they had narcissistic parents they don’t want to emulate.
Please CLICK HERE To Learn More About Echoism
