Narcissists may seem like they’re made of stone, but they have a vulnerable side. And they live with many fears.

Most narcissists experience anxiety because of the anticipation of their fears. But they usually hide them to appear strong.

Narcissists share many fears that we all experience. But they also harbour some unusual fears. Once you learn what narcissists fear and why, you can understand some of their behaviours.

Here’s some of the things that frighten narcissists…

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Their Own Imperfections

Narcissists harbour delusions of perfection. Which of course is unrealistic.

Narcissists fear their own imperfections. Because acknowledging them would acknowledge they’re ordinary. Which can lead to them being on edge most of the time, worried they may act less than perfect.

Narcissists spend most of their lives constructing a false self that is perfect, just to get away from their inadequacies. When there’s a threat to their “perfect” self, they recoil in horror.

Most narcissists live in fear of making mistakes. Which creates anxiety in everything they do. Especially in new situations. Narcissists worry about getting the simplest of things wrong. One small slip-up batters their self esteem.

Narcissists Fear Shame

Narcissists like to be well thought of by the public. Which is why their public persona is usually charming, kind, and courteous.

Narcissists fear being shamed for doing something society frowns upon. They don’t feel guilty for the harm they cause. Because guilt requires emotional empathy. But they do feel shame.

The last thing a narcissist wants is to be shunned by their community. They want to be liked. So if a narcissist wrongs someone, they experience shame.

They also hate feeling shame because shame makes them feel vulnerable. And narcissists are all about protecting themselves from negative emotions.

Narcissists Fear Exposure

Narcissists fear being exposed as a narcissist. Because they know that no one would go near them if they found out. Which is why they cultivate a “nice” public persona.

Narcissists are careful who they act narcissistic in front of. And usually save it for those closest to them. They know they’re loyal and won’t reveal this to everyone.

When a relationship with a narcissist breaks down, they worry. Because they no longer have their former partner’s loyalty to rely on for not exposing them. So a narcissist might smear their ex to discredit them. And if that doesn’t work, the narcissist may take off and leave the area.

Narcissists Fear Failure

Narcissists fear failure. Because failure implies they’re ordinary and flawed.

Narcissists constantly measure themselves against others. And almost everything is a competition. But narcissists can’t be better than everyone at everything. It’s impossible.

So they live in fear of failure, because in their eyes, they fail all the time. Narcissists fear others who are more intelligent, better looking, and more successful than them. Which is why they sometimes try to bring others down.

Narcissists seem to have unique areas where they expect to be superior. Some may expect to be the best at sport. Others with intellectual pursuits. And they live in constant fear of someone bettering them. Which unfortunately is inevitable.

Narcissists Fear Responsibility

Narcissists don’t thrive on responsibility. Responsibility frightens them. Because it gives them opportunity to fail.

Narcissists prefer to push their responsibilities onto others. Then they can pass the blame when things go wrong. That’s why narcissists often sit around doing nothing, whilst criticising everyone else.

How Narcissists Shift Blame

Narcissists Fear Being Abandoned

Most narcissists live in fear of being abandoned. Which probably accounts for some of their possessive behaviours.

It’s not unheard of for narcissists to charm back someone who’s ended a relationship. Then dumping them soon after. Just so they can be the one to end it. That’s how much they value their delusions of superiority.

Being abandoned threatens their delusions of superiority. Because no one would abandon someone as great as them. And that’s not all. Being abandoned leaves them vulnerable to their next fear…

Narcissists Fear Being Alone

Narcissists fear being alone for a few reasons. They like to have people around them, admiring them, and telling them how great they are, (narcissistic supply). Narcissists need almost constant validation.

Narcissists also fear being alone because it gives them space to self reflect. They fear the shame of when they think of things they’ve done wrong in the past. And they fear discovering their flawed self.

Narcissists try not to be alone. But they don’t want others to know this. Because admitting they need someone leaves them vulnerable.

So they’re in the precarious position of needing people around them, but not wanting them to know this. This causes them a great deal of fear. And they devise many sly tactics to gain attention, without admitting they need it.

Narcissists Fear Ageing

Many people fear growing older, but not like a narcissist does. Narcissists want to be “better” than everyone around them. And many view being younger as being “better”. But they know they can’t turn back the clock.

Some narcissists resort to surgery to keep the signs of ageing at bay. And they might dress inappropriately younger than they really are.

Many narcissists rely on their looks to gain attention. And when their looks fade, so does a major source of attention. Ageing also leads to another source of fear…

Narcissist Fear Of Death

Whilst most people don’t welcome the prospect of death, narcissists fear death more than most. Narcissists believe they’re special, and not like ordinary folk.

The fact that they’re going to die, just like everybody else, challenges their delusions. The narcissist is not above death. And deep down they know it. This challenges their superiority and their omnipotence.

So they try to shove this deep within their psyche. Rather than learn to deal with their mortality.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists fight an impossible fight of being brilliant, superior, and perfection personified. And anything less is unthinkable.

Narcissists have a lot to hide, and they know it. They live in constant fear of their secrets being revealed. And the secret of who they really are. That insecure child in an adult body.

A narcissists mind is needy, toxic, and hostile. And they project this out into the world they live. A narcissists mind is a frightening place, full of worry and fear. And so is the world they live in.

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