Narcissists reveal themselves with their red flag behaviours. But the problem is that many narcissists are good at hiding them. Especially in the early days of friendships or relationships. Most can act almost too good to be true. It’s only when they’ve reeled you in that they show their true colours.
Whilst there’s some early warning signs of narcissism that I’ve previously written about, narcissist body language is a great tool to add to your arsenal. Because body language is more difficult to fake, because we subconsciously display body language we’re not aware of.
The better equipped you are at spotting narcissists early, the quicker you can distance yourself from them, before it’s too late. Learning about narcissist body language will help you with this.
So to help you, here’s some narcissist body language clues to look out for…
Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
A Smile That Doesn’t Reach Their Eyes
A big sign of a narcissist is a smile that doesn’t reach their eyes. That’s because narcissists fake smiles for manipulation, and to fit in.
Most narcissists want to appear friendly and empathetic, to draw people in. This is because narcissists need attention so badly, it’s in their best interests to learn to fake a smile.
However, as good an actor as narcissists may be, a fake smile usually only involves the mouth. Whereas a genuine smile also includes the eyes. So look to see if their eyes match their smile. If their mouth is smiling but their eyes aren’t, then it’s a sign it could be fake.
Even if you don’t consciously notice their eyes don’t smile, you may intuitively feel it. Their smile may instinctively feel off and unsettling, rather than warm and friendly. Because your subconscious mind sometimes notices things you don’t consciously.
So never ignore your gut feelings, or beat yourself up for being “negative” about someone. Sometimes it’s right to have negative feelings towards someone. Or at least concerns. It’s your intuition protecting you.
Grandiose Posturing
If the narcissist is more overt and feeling dominant, then you might see an exaggerated performance posture.
This is where they puff their chest out, pull their shoulders back, and move slowly in a dominant fashion. Like they’re cock of the world!
This often feels theatrical, as the narcissist positions themselves as the main character in the room. Which reflects their inner thoughts of dominance and control.
Some people mistake this grandiose posturing for confidence. But confidence is more relaxed. It doesn’t need a performance.
Eyes Scanning The Room
Narcissists often scan their eyes around a room, looking for opportunities for attention. And they may even do this whilst you’re talking to them.
Narcissists are bottomless pits for attention, and are never satisfied with what they’ve got. So even though they’re in a conversation with you, they’re constantly on the hunt for more.
Narcissists often value fresh sources of attention over older sources. Because in their mind they’ve already won you over. So winning over a new supply is more of a thrill.
This is why you may feel they’re not really with you. Because they aren’t. They’re just with you to get their attention needs met. If a “better” supply comes along, then they’d rather be with them.
Dramatic Facial Expressions
Narcissists are fake people. They fake themselves to avoid shame, and to manipulate others.
Narcissists are empty shells. They act on what’s beneficial in the moment. Rather than a genuine expression of themselves. So you may find that they use over dramatic facial expressions that intuitively feel off.
Narcissists can be incredibly performative. So their expressions may look more like those of an over the top theatre actor, than a regular person.
Getting Too Physically Close
Narcissists often disregard physical boundaries for various reasons. They may stand too close, to extract maximum attention from you. Or lean their face close to yours. And if you take a step back, they may take another step forward. Showing they have no regard for your personal boundaries.
Narcissists may also touch inappropriately, when you’re not yet familiar. This may be a deliberate tactic to gain power and control, or due to their lack of awareness of your boundaries.
Eyes Following You Around
For some reason I find this one of the more irritating narcissist traits. When you’re busy minding your own business, some narcissists eyes follow you around the room. Even though you’re not doing anything of interest.
Worse still, when the narcissist starts commenting or criticising what you’re doing. When they keep doing this, it’s natural to feel self conscious.
Some narcissists do this to deliberately intimidate you and put you off. Whereas others do it to get your attention.
Stillness When You’re Upset
People with emotional empathy naturally mirror emotions when someone around them is upset. Especially if they care about them. So if someone looks upset, an empathetic person also looks upset.
This is natural and automatic. But narcissists don’t have emotional empathy. So this isn’t automatic.
Because of this, you may find that the narcissist stares blankly at you. Even though you’ve poured your heart out to them. Rather than react with warmth or concern.
If the narcissist is higher functioning, then they may have learnt to fake the appropriate “emotions”. But there’s usually a delay whilst they “decide” what emotion to use, since it’s not instinctive. You may also find that their “emotion” feels fake or forced, since that’s what it is.
Another sign is that they may quickly flash a smirk, before retreating into a fake look of concern. The golden rule here is that the first instinctive expression is usually the true one. So if they look like they’re enjoying your pain for even a split second, then it’s likely to be how they really feel. Talking of the narcissist smirk…
The Narcissist Smirk
Many narcissists smirk rather than smile. Which is a sign of superiority, rather than a sign of happiness or friendliness. You can tell a narcissist smirk from the way they smile with one side of their mouth.
In some contexts, a smirk is an even bigger red flag. Especially during a conflict, or if you’re feeling negative emotions about something. Because it shows the narcissist enjoys your suffering. Rather than empathises with you, and shares your pain.
Over Reaction To Perceived Criticism
Narcissists are incredibly thin skinned when criticised. And they may even wrongly perceive a criticism that isn’t there.
So you may see their breathing speed up. Their face flush. And forced laughter to mask their irritation. Even when the criticism was constructive, or very light.
Narcissist are so thin skinned that they may even consider someone with a different opinion as criticism. It could even be that you don’t like a movie or song that they like.
Territorial Use Of Space
Some narcissists consciously or subconsciously use body language to claim territory, or display dominance. So they may sit spread out, taking as much space as possible.
They may also spread their belongings everywhere, marking their territory. And touch objects and people to assert control.
In the past I’ve had narcissists stay at my home. And within 24 hours, their possessions seem to fill every room in my house!
Lack Of Responsive Empathy
Narcissists are well known to fake empathy. But they usually fake it with grand words and gestures. Real empathy is revealed in micro behaviours. Especially during conversations.
A big clue that someone lacks empathy is when they don’t respond warmly during a conversation. They don’t nod at the appropriate times. Or repeat things back to show they’re actively listening.
Instead, narcissists may check their phone, turn away, or even talk to someone else whilst you’re mid sentence. This isn’t what empathetic people routinely do. Although of course we can all make occasional mistakes.
The Narcissist Stare
Some narcissist stare intensely during conversations. And at first it might feel intimate and intoxicating. Especially at the beginning of romantic relationships.
However narcissists use this as a tool to dominate. Rather than for connection. And after a while it might intuitively feel intimidating, rather than friendly and warm.
Rather than repeat myself, I’ve written a whole article about the narcissist stare here…
Please CLICK HERE To Learn More About The Narcissist Stare
Final Thoughts
Obviously context is everything when it comes to narcissist body language. One gesture in isolation isn’t enough to make a decision. But a few builds a picture. Especially if you observe other red flag behaviours.
Remember, there’s also things like autism, culture, and anxiety that can influence body language. So always bear this in mind.
However these narcissist body language clues are a great tool to help you detect narcissists. The more you learn about narcissists the better. Because not only can you learn to spot them, you can also predict their behaviours. And this gives you a huge advantage in life.
Please CLICK HERE For The Telltale Signs Of A Narcissist
