People often wonder, how does someone become a narcissist? Is narcissism genetic? Is narcissism learned?
Well, there’s two opposing views when it comes to the cause of narcissism. Some people argue that narcissism is genetic. Whereas others say it’s their environment growing up.
Sometimes, both of these reasons are used to defend narcissists. Because you can’t choose your genetics, or the environment you grew up in. So it’s argued we should cut them some slack, since it’s not their fault.
I’ll address this later in this article, but first, let’s look at the nature vs nurture debate on how someone becomes a narcissist…
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Narcissism – Nature vs. Nurture
Science says that narcissism isn’t just something you “pick up” from spending too much time on social media. There’s a genetic component…
Studies with twins show that narcissistic traits are about 40–60% inherited. Which means your DNA can give you a head start in the self-love department.
But it’s important to note that the other half of the equation must therefore be your environment. How you were raised, what culture you grew up in, and whether people kept telling you that you’re “special” every five minutes.
To me this makes sense. Whilst it’s natural to look for a single reason for a cause for anything, life’s often more complicated than this. Especially when it comes to psychology.
The Family Factor
Is narcissism hereditary? Parents have a big impact on how narcissistic a person develops. There seems to be two ways family impacts levels of narcissism…
- Parents who tell their children they’re perfect, a genius, and destined for greatness. This constant praise often inflates their sense of self.
- On the flip side, emotionally distant or overly critical parents can push children to build up a false sense of superiority, as a defensive shield.
Either way, the results look the same. A person who thrives on admiration, and has a tough time hearing the word “no.”
So, does narcissism run in families? Yes, it often does. But not exclusively because of genetics. It’s also because of upbringing. It’s also influenced by personality traits, such as confidence, impulsiveness, emotional sensitivity, mixed with life experiences.
Cultural Influence On Narcissism
People in the West are commonly raised on self-confidence and individualism. “Believe in yourself,” “Follow your dreams,” and “You can be anything.” Whilst it’s empowering, too much plants seeds for what psychologists call “cultural narcissism”.
Contrast that with collectivist cultures, like in many parts of Asia, Africa, or Latin America. Where the focus is more on community and harmony. Putting the group above yourself is often seen as a virtue. Publicly bragging about your achievements is more frowned upon. Respect, modesty, and interdependence are prized over self-promotion.
So whilst narcissism exists everywhere, it looks different across different cultures. In individualistic societies, it’s louder and more visible. In collectivist ones, it’s quieter, sometimes masked by humility. But it still lurks in subtler forms, like social comparison or saving face.
Social Media Influence On Narcissism
Social media has blurred cultural lines, by exporting Western-style self-branding around the world. Suddenly, even in traditionally modest cultures, people are learning “personal brand”. They’re curating images, chasing likes, and competing for attention.
So whilst it’s impossible to say whether narcissism is increasing, I’d argue that it’s becoming more visible. Which gives the impression it’s rising.
Couple that with increased awareness, thanks to the internet, and it can seem like narcissism is increasing. But this isn’t necessarily the case. We can only know for sure by comparing reliable studies from the past, with the same reliable studies from today. Which can’t be done.
This is important to note. Because if we believe narcissism is increasing, then it can’t be increasing because of genetics. Because our genes don’t change that fast. Which can give a false impression that narcissism must be purely environmental.
Can Narcissists Be Cured?
If someone is narcissistic, but doesn’t have full NPD, then they can be massively helped. Therapy can help them develop more empathy and perspective.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), or schema therapy, are particularly effective at teaching people to balance self-confidence with compassion.
However if a person has full blown NPD, then they can’t be “cured”. They will always have difficulties relating to other people.
But long term therapy, with a lasting commitment to succeed, can see them make decent gains. But they must work hard, and stay in therapy indefinitely. Because as soon as they stop, they’re likely to revert back to type. Because ultimately, it’s who they are.
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Can Narcissists Help It?
It’s difficult to say how much free will we have to determine whether we become narcissists. Does how we choose to react to life’s adversities play a part? It’s difficult to say for sure.
If a narcissist has no free will to not become a narcissist, then it must also be true that none of us can help who we become. Why would narcissists be the only ones that can’t help who they are?
It’s apparent when we observe young children, that they have certain traits that seem to be engrained. Some may be more quiet and reserved. Whereas others maybe more energetic, or more aggressive. And to a fair degree, these traits largely stick with them throughout their lives.
However whilst you can’t turn a reserved introvert into a raving extravert, you can modify and balance out their personality. With time and effort, a quiet introvert can become more outgoing, even if it might not be totally natural to them. We see this all the time.
So It seems apparent that a narcissist can at least modify and improve their narcissistic natures if they want to. And many narcissists have made positive changes, when committed to long term therapy.
Final Thoughts
I’d argue that we should hold narcissists to account for their narcissistic behaviours. And it’s healthy that we do.
If we don’t, then we give them a free pass to be as narcissistic as they like. And they have no incentive to change or improve. Which they are capable of doing.
If they have consequences for their actions, narcissists are more likely to modify their behaviours. For instance, look at how narcissists act nice when they want to. Such as when love bombing. Or when they’re with their boss at work, if they want to succeed.
Whilst they won’t be “cured”, narcissists who have consequences for their actions, rather than free reign, are less damaging and more tolerable. Which ultimately benefits them, as well as everyone else.
So I’d argue that society needs to learn about narcissists and how they operate. Because then they don’t get away with their narcissistic behaviours. And since their narcissism no longer benefits them, they have an incentive to change. So please share some of my articles on this site, and help spread the word!
Key Studies On Narcissism And Genetics
If you want to dig deeper, here’s some notable studies on narcissism and genetics…
- In a twin-sample of ~304 pairs (China) the authors found heritability estimates of ~23% for intrapersonal grandiosity, and ~35% for interpersonal entitlement. PMC+2PubMed+2
- They also found that the genetic and environmental influences on these two dimensions overlapped only ~7-8%, meaning they’re largely distinct. PMC
- This is a good example of dimension-specific work within narcissism.
- This study examined multiple personality disorders (PDs) using twin data, and found a very high heritability estimate (~0.79) for the specific diagnosis of narcissistic PD among the sample. PubMed
- It shows that when measured as a clinical disorder, rather than a trait, heritability can appear higher.
- The heritability of Cluster B personality disorders assessed both by personal interview and questionnaire (2013)
- Using a large twin panel (~2,800 twins), this study assessed Cluster B disorders (including narcissistic PD) via self-report and interview. PubMed
- Heritability estimates varied (for narcissistic PD specifically, the estimate was lower than some older clinical studies) underscoring that measurement method matters.
- This twin study looked at the “Dark Triad” (which includes narcissism), and found significant genetic influences. Cambridge University Press & Assessment
- Useful if you’re interested in narcissism in the broader personality pathology and personality traits context.
- A broader twin-study of many personality disorder traits (not just narcissism) found heritability estimates median ~45% for the studied traits. PubMed
- Helps situate narcissism within the broader personality disorder and trait heritability literature.
Please CLICK HERE For Why It Seems Like Narcissists Are Everywhere