You’re probably aware that life improves when you leave a narcissist. But sometimes we forget. Especially if we’ve hit a low point in our life. Or if the narcissist tries love bombing their way back in.
Narcissists are good at getting their partners, and ex partners, into an emotional and confused state. Using gaslighting and other manipulation tactics. This can trick us into thinking that things were better than they really were. And that WE were responsible for many of the difficulties THEY caused.
The aim of this article is to remind you why life is better without the narcissist. So you don’t get tempted to take them back. If you haven’t left them yet, then this article may help you build the courage to take the leap.
If you know someone who’s left a narcissist, or is thinking of leaving, send them this! It will help alleviate their doubts. Which narcissists pick up on, and exploit.
Let’s get to the article! Here’s how life improves after you leave a narcissist…
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Reduced Stress
Narcissists are stressful to be around. Especially if you spend a lot of time with them. And even when they’re playing nice, they’re still draining.
Narcissists expect you to shoulder all their burdens. But won’t do the same for you. So you literally have double the stress. And on top of this, the narcissists erratic behaviours only add to the strain.
Narcissists often deliberately create stress and anxiety in their partners. Because they know that someone who’s stressed and anxious is more controllable.
Long term stress is harmful to your health. Because your body goes into flight or fight mode, releasing stress hormones into your body.
These stress hormones are only supposed to be active for fleeting moments. But sadly, when you’re in a narcissist relationship, they’re triggered far more than is healthy.
Once you leave a narcissist, your stress levels decrease. And your overall health improves. You may even find people complimenting you on how well you’re looking. (This literally happened to me!)
Improved Self Esteem
Narcissists often undermine their partners self esteem. Usually by constant criticisms and belittlement.
These jabs may be subtle, or blatant. Depending on the narcissist, and the type of relationship you have. But whatever the method, the repetition still affects you.
With the narcissist out the picture, you have the chance to rebuild your self esteem. And rediscover your self worth. Because there’s no one to pull you back down, when they sense you’re picking yourself up.
Time To Do Things YOU Want To Do
Narcissists are demanding of your time and attention. And are incredibly selfish. Which causes their partners to have little time or energy to do things they want.
Once you leave a narcissist, a whole world of opportunity opens up. Because there’s no one demanding you to stick to them like glue. Or getting jealous when you do something with someone else.
Narcissists expect their partners to exclusively serve them. They don’t understand why you would want to go to the gym without them. Or go for a stroll in nature. In their mind, you should do everything for them. And if they’re not interested in these things, you shouldn’t be either.
Narcissists Hold You Back
Narcissists lead chaotic lives. And hold their partners back from living a better life.
If the narcissist has a career, then they expect all the resources to go to them. So you don’t get a look in. Even if you have a better job than them.
Narcissists are notoriously reckless with money. And usually monopolise their partners cash. So it’s difficult to save, and build a strong foundation.
With the narcissist gone, you’re free to grow and progress. You have time and energy to attend college courses to progress your career. You can save and invest in your future. And you can build connections with people who actually care about you.
More Time For Friends
Most narcissists don’t want their partners to have friends. Because they steal THEIR time and attention. And worse still, their friends may give them a reality check on how badly the narcissist treats them.
So the narcissist stirs trouble between you and your friends. To create divisions. Or they may cause arguments, just before you go out. So you no longer feel like it. Some even go as far as isolating their partners, by moving them to a new area.
With the narcissist out the picture, you can see your friends when you want. Without worrying about someone acting up. Or ruining your plans. So you may actually feel MORE connected, and less alone. Despite being single.
In fact, it’s common for partners of narcissists to feel lonely. Because they spend most of their time with the narcissist. And since narcissists don’t have emotional empathy, they don’t connect on a deep level. Making you feel more alone WITH them, than without them.
More Time For Hobbies
Once the narcissist is gone, you have more time for hobbies. Because narcissists suck every drop of time, attention, and energy you have. So hobbies are usually the last thing on your mind.
Once you’re free from the narcissist, you have more time and energy to reconnect with old hobbies. And find new ones too.
You won’t have anyone standing in your way. Draining you of energy. Or putting you down. You’re your own boss. And can finally do what YOU like!
Final Thoughts
Leaving a narcissist can be scary. Because they drag their partners down. Making them feel like they can’t live without the narcissist. But it’s all a con.
Narcissists know that it’s THEM that would struggle without you. Because they need copious amounts of attention. And their chaotic natures make them struggle maintaining a stable life. So they need you to keep them grounded.
But instead of being grateful to you, they look for insurance. And making you believe YOU can’t live without them, is their insurance.
Take your emotions out of the equation. And think about what the narcissist actually brings to the table. Then think about all the ways they hinder you. It may help to write them down in two separate sections. Then compare.
Once you think about it logically, you’ll see how little they actually do for you. And how much you do for them.
So the net result is they take far more than they give. At your cost. Which is why leaving them is such a no-brainer.
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