Female narcissists often collect harems of male admirers. Who they use to boost their self esteem. And manipulate for their own benefit.
But they don’t enjoy this collection of men by chance. They purposively gather them. And these men aren’t Saints who love giving. They’re manipulated.
Once you learn how female narcissists draw men in, you’re more likely to see what they’re up to. And identify if they’re narcissists, who want to take. This allows you to see whether you’re in a genuine friendship or relationship. Or being mined for your resources.
Here’s how female narcissists draw men in…
Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
Play The Helpless Victim
Many female narcissists play the helpless victim. Especially with males. And this serves a few purposes.
The narcissist hopes that the man takes pity. And takes her under his wing. Helping her with any “problem” she has.
This allows her to enjoy a one-sided relationship. Where she creates problems, and he comes to the rescue. Allowing her to take, without giving anything in return.
Playing the helpless victim also allows her to test the man. To see if his instincts are to help and protect her. To be her knight in shining armour. Because this is what she wants.
Subtle Flirting
Most female narcissists are flirty with men. Because they know this gives them power. But just as importantly, this also gives them attention.
Female narcissists know that if a guy is interested, they’re likely to bend over backwards for them. So they reap all the rewards.
They might benefit from free nights out. Gifts. Help with their problems. And all sorts of other perks.
So she lets it be known there’s a spark between them. To draw them in. But she does this subtly. So it’s not too obvious. But why subtle? There’s two reasons why…
The first is to retain power. The female narcissist knows that if they appear too keen, then the man has power. Because he has something she wants.
So she flirts subtly, so it’s not 100% clear she’s flirting. Leaving an element of doubt. Keeping her firmly in the driving seat.
The second reason is so the man thinks that’s he’s initiating romance. And she can delude herself into believing this. Which bolsters her grandiose delusions.
This makes the female narcissist feel special and wanted. And just as importantly, it allows her to put the “pursuer” into no man’s land. Where he doesn’t know where he stands. And that’s exactly where she wants him…
Pull Back
Once the female narcissist gets signals from the man, she pulls back. And acts disinterested. At least from a romantic perceptive.
She may say that she just want to be friends. Or claim that she’s unsure what she wants.
This is designed to confuse and disorientate the man. And hold power over him. Because he’s picking up signals, yet being told no.
If the man still pursues her, she knows she has him right where she wants him. Because now she has something he wants. Herself. So she can dangle the carrot, and exploit him.
If the man respectfully stops pursuing her, then it doesn’t end there. She restarts the flirting. To draw him back in. Because she wants him to want her.
Narcissists know that the person who cares least about a romantic relationship, has the power. So she manoeuvres him into a place where he wants more. But she doesn’t.
Triangulate
During this push and pull, the female narcissist usually introduces other men into the equation. They might be male “friends” she’s also flirting with. Ex partners. Work colleagues, etc.
The female narcissist hopes to get them competing for her affection. To fight amongst themselves, to win her over.
This battle provides copious amounts of narcissistic supply. In the form of attention, flattery, and favours. And it feeds her grandiosity. Allowing her to believe she’s a highly desired prize.
The female narcissist may show off gifts and nights out. Paid for by the others. Hoping to provoke jealousy and competition. So they fight to outdo each other. Whilst she cashes in.
Test
Within her harem, the female narcissist tests her male “admirers”. To see how compliant and controllable they are. How giving. And how strong their boundaries are.
Narcissists don’t want mutually beneficial relationships. They want to take as much as they can, whilst giving as little as possible. So she tests them to find her best option.
She may decide that one of the guys will give her more than the rest. So she “acquiesces” into a full blown relationship with him. But what about the others?
Keeps Her Male “Friends”
Even though she’s now in a relationship, she keeps her male admirers. And acts naĂŻve, as if she doesn’t know they’re interested.
If her current partner complains about the men in her life, she quickly spins it round. And accuses him of being a controlling male. Who wants to get rid of her friends. Leaving him little choice, but to accept the situation.
She knows full well that he doesn’t like her having male friends. But she doesn’t care. Because everything is about what she wants.
More Triangulation
With a full time boyfriend and a harem of male admirers, the female narcissist has full control. She keeps her partner on his toes by complimenting her male “friends” to him. Usually on things like their generosity.
She wants her current partner to be aware that she has options. So he ups his game to keep her.
To her male “friends”, she continues to dangle the carrot. Hinting that they may still be in with a chance. And she may even discuss relationship “problems” with them. Knowing that this builds up their hopes, and keeps them under control.
Back Burner
These male friends provide more than just keeping her partner on his toes. They’re also useful options to keep on the back burner. Just in case her primary relationship sours.
Most narcissists need unlimited amounts of attention. And they hate the thought of being single.
An army of admirers is great insurance for narcissists. Because they don’t need to worry about their partner leaving. Because there’s a choice of replacements, waiting in the wings.
This allows them to treat their partner worse. Safe in the knowledge that if their partner has enough and leaves, they can quickly be replaced.
Affairs
Although narcissists are more likely to cheat, not all do. Not technically anyway.
If a female narcissist doesn’t have an affair with one of her admirers, she’s likely to cross the line emotionally.
She may hint that something more may happen between them. And may discuss her relationship “problems”. All to keep them close. To use them. And to keep them on the back burner.
She may also reveal secrets about her relationship. And even make things up, if it’s in her best interests. Because she has no real loyalty for her partner…or her admirers.
The female narcissist is a puppet master, pulling everyone’s strings. And playing them all off against each other. Making their lives a misery. Whilst she takes as much as possible. In all of this, the only person she truly cares about, is herself.
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Right on the money.
Cheers Steve!