Learning narcissist red flags is a great life skill. Because it helps you identify narcissists before they become too ingrained in your life. Then it’s easier to get rid of them.
One massively overlooked red flag is that narcissists practically tell you they’re narcissists at the beginning of relationships. Let me explain…
Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
Narcissists Issues
Many narcissists try to establish that they have some sort of “issue”. This may include depression, anger issues, bipolar, even narcissistic tendencies. They may also tell you that they have behavioural or emotional issues, and they’re not a good person. All whilst behaving like an angel!
This makes them appear like conscientious people wanting to improve. And it encourages you to forgive them, should they ever “slip up”.
Now I’m not saying that everyone with these issues are narcissists. But I am saying that narcissists use these labels to their advantage.
The Narcissist Victim
Narcissists often present themselves as poor victims. They may talk about bad upbringings, or poor treatment from previous relationships. All to reel you in, and avoid personal accountability.
You usually find that narcissists control their “issues” fine at the beginning of relationships. But after a while, things start ramping up.
Narcissists usually start off small to test you. Then dial it up, the more used to it you get, and the more you’re prepared to take.
This begs the question, how can they control their issues during the love bombing honeymoon period. But can’t now?
You may also find that they can control their issues with certain people, such as their boss at work; people with firm boundaries; or with people they want to impress. But they can’t control them with those closest to them. Especially if they give them a free pass. How does that make sense?
This shows that narcissists do have control. But are selective with it. So they’re clearly not playing fair.
Expect You To Accommodate Their Issues
A big clue someone’s a narcissist is when they blame you for triggering their issues. Rather than blame themselves for their actions. Instead they want YOU to change to accommodate them. Rather than work on themselves to improve.
Narcissists hope to establish themselves as the victim, despite being abusive. This plays your empathy against you, so you forgive their abusive ways, and let them slide. Then they can continue to abuse, whilst you stick around taking more.
Final Thoughts
No one should have a free pass to be abusive. Regardless of the issues they may have. Especially when they make little effort to improve.
Very few of us had the perfect upbringing. Or have had perfect past relationships. So everyone can’t expect the whole world to accommodate each others issues. Because things would quickly disintegrate.
We all have a duty to work on, and control our problems. And take personal responsibility for them. Not expect the whole world to bow down to them.
But narcissists don’t want to do this. Whether their issues are real or not, they have no motivation to change them. Because their issues give them what they want. And that’s special treatment, where normal rules don’t apply to them.
So if you meet someone and they quickly tell you they have issues, take note. And watch for them testing you, and expecting you to accommodate them. Because if they do, it’s a huge red flag. And things are likely to get worse. Not better.
Please CLICK HERE To Learn About Toxic Empathy