Breaking up with narcissists comes with unique challenges. Because they lack empathy, and have the emotional intelligence of a child.

If you’ve split up, or are thinking of splitting up with a narcissist, then it’s worth knowing what to expect. Because a break up is hard enough anyway, without the extra problems narcissists throw your way.

Here’s what to expect after a split with a narcissist…

Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

They Drop Their Mask

Narcissists often drop their mask when a relationship’s over. And reveal more of their narcissistic side.

Whilst narcissists reveal more of their narcissism to their partners, they still hide some of it. Because otherwise even the most patient spouse would bale.

Now the relationship is over, they may drop their mask and reveal more of their ugly side. Particularly if they ended the relationship. Because now they have nothing to lose.

The narcissist may change so much, you’re left wondering who they are. And whether you ever actually knew them.

This is naturally unsettling and confusing. And difficult to believe. Because who’d pretend to be someone they’re not?

Smear Your Name

Since narcissists reveal more of their narcissism to their partners, they know you have information they don’t want getting out. But now you’re no longer an item, you’re more likely to talk. So narcissists go into damage limitation mode. Which usually involves smearing their ex.

The narcissist makes it their mission to let everyone know that you were the problem, not them. And they may exaggerate or outright lie about things you said or did. Implying you’re crazy, and can’t be trusted.

This smearing allows the narcissist to save face, and keep their reputation in tact. Because people can’t be sure whether you’re telling the truth, when you reveal their dark side. So they often put it down to sour grapes, rather than believe you.

So you may find some people avoid you. Or gossip behind your back. Because they believe the narcissists version of events.

In this case, it’s not worth playing the political game against the narcissist. Because conflict energises them, whilst it depletes you. Instead, focus on healing and moving on. Because the right people will stick by you. And you benefit from working on yourself, rather than being dragged into a battle with the narcissist.

Stalk You

If you left the narcissist, then they may stalk you. They may regularly drive past your house. Stalk your social media. Wait outside your work. And even turn up at your door.

Narcissists feel incredibly insulted if you walk away. Because they want to believe they’re amazing. But no one would leave someone as special as they kid themselves to be.

Leaving them bursts their bubble. And threatens their grandiose delusions. So they may desperately try to win you back, just to save face. They may even lure you back, then quickly end the relationship. Just to snatch the “win” from you.

Narcissists MUST control their relationships. But you walking away threatens their control. Which causes some narcissists to stalk, as it allows them to regain some feeling of control.

If you’re being stalked, it’s worth logging your concerns with the Police. Because this gives you an open dialogue to report future concerns. Plus it provides evidence, should things ever escalate.

Hold Your Possessions To Ransom

If a narcissist wants you back, then they may hold your possessions to ransom. And refuse to give them back.

Narcissists are well aware of power games. It’s how they live. So they know that if they hold your treasured things, they have power. Because they can threaten to destroy them. Or dangle them as a carrot to entice you back.

The narcissist may insist on spending time with you to get your things back. Which allows them to open the dialogue, and manipulate. And they might not give them back anyway. Because this relinquishes their power.

If you can, let these items go. Because material possessions aren’t worth your mental health. And the narcissist is likely to send you on a merry-go-round, before giving them back.

On the flip side, narcissists may leave their possessions with you. Then pester for them back. Just for an excuse to see you again. So if this happens, make sure they actually take these items when they leave. Or better still, drop them off and leave.

Use Children As A Weapon

If you share children, then they’re likely to use them to get to you. Especially if they want you back.

The narcissist knows that you have to let them see their children. So when they’re low in supply, they often decide they miss their kids. And use this as an excuse to see you.

So there may be a pattern where they regularly visit their children. Then disappear for months. Then re-appear as if nothing happened. And when they do visit, they’re more interested in talking to you, than spending time with their children.

No Closure

Narcissists rarely give closure at the end of relationships. Because they lack empathy. And also because they want options.

Narcissists know that unanswered questions leave you itching to know the truth. So when they’re low in supply, they can use this to entice you to spend time with them. Also these unanswered questions can make you feel like the relationship’s not truly over.

Most narcissists hate being single. So they want options. Then they can quickly establish a new relationship, should their current one turn sour. So they may deny you closure, just to keep you on the back burner. But, you shouldn’t seek closure from a narcissist anyway.

As you’re aware, narcissists aren’t the most honest people. And it’s likely that closure discussions are full of lies and blame shifting. So you won’t get genuine closure. Just their biased warped version, designed to make them look good, and you look bad. So it’s not worth playing their games to get it.

The best closure you can realistically get is to learn as much as you can about narcissists behaviours, motivations, and patterns. As this reveals far more about your relationship than the narcissist will ever admit.

Narcissists are surprisingly formulaic, once you learn their patterns. So it’s likely you’ll make sense out of most things they did, once you learn how they operate. And this helps tremendously with closure and moving on.

Immediately Find Someone Else

Since narcissists hate being single, they usually find a new relationship almost immediately. It may be an ex they’ve kept on the back burner. One of their “friends” they’ve been grooming. Or an affair, if that’s what they’ve been up to.

It can be shocking to see them move on so quickly, as if nothing happened. Especially if you had a long relationship.

Sadly, narcissists have little loyalty. And their only thoughts are on serving themselves. So they often quickly find a replacement. Rather than spend time healing and making sense of things. Or respectfully leaving time before moving on.

Narcissist are also quick to flaunt their new relationships. And may turn up at places they know you go. And post pictures all over social media.

This is to show you and everyone else that they don’t need you. To save face. And they know it’s likely to hurt you too. Just remember that no matter how lovey dovey the pictures look, the narcissist will treat them the same as they did you, given some time.

Hoover

Narcissists notoriously see their partners as their property. And this doesn’t change once the relationship is over. So it’s common for narcissists to hoover, even months or years later.

If a narcissist is subtle, they may “accidentally” call or message you. Or bump into you somewhere they know you’re going to be.

Narcissists typically hoover when they’re low in supply. It could their relationship has ended. Or they’re getting bored, and want some extra excitement.

In a narcissists mind, a relationship is never truly over. They feel like they own their exes. Plus they know it’s easier to rekindle old relationships, than establish new ones.

So when they’re single, they may hoover several old flames, hoping at least one bites. So don’t think they’re contacting you because they think you’re special. They just need attention.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve broken free from a narcissist, don’t look back. Spend time healing and replenishing your energy. And work on yourself for a change.

If the narcissist wants you back, they may promise the Earth. And claim they’ve changed. Telling you things will be different this time.

Sadly it’s almost certainly not true. And just a bunch of words designed to win you back. And whilst they may change temporarily, they almost always revert back to type after a while.

In fact, narcissists often treat their partners worse, once they’re taken back. Please click the following link for why narcissist treat you worse after you take them back…

Please CLICK HERE For Why You Should NEVER Take A Narcissist Back

Or scroll Down For My Most Popular Articles…

Why You Should NEVER Take The Narcissist Back