If you leave a narcissist, it may not be the last you hear from them. Especially if they haven’t found your replacement.
Most narcissists HAVE to be in a relationship. Because they need almost constant attention and validation.
So they resort to underhanded tactics to win someone back. Because ultimately they don’t care what’s best for you. They only care about what’s best for them. And since they’re takers, being in a relationship always benefits them.
So narcissists use manipulation to convince their ex to take them back. Because they can’t do it by merit. Here’s some of the things narcissists say to win back their partners…
Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
You Won’t Find Anyone Better Than Me
Narcissists say this to sow seeds of doubt in your mind. As they hope they drained your self esteem to the point where you believe this.
The narcissist hopes that your insecurity drives you back to them. Because you don’t feel worthy of someone better than them, who treats you well. On top of that, you may even feel you deserve their harsh treatment.
Trust me, you can do MUCH better than any narcissist. Because they don’t care about you, and never will. They only care about what they can take from you. So it’s never to your advantage to be with them.
Only You Can Save Me
Narcissists may create the impression that only you can save them. So they need YOU to survive. But this is a deliberate attempt to manipulate you on several levels.
Some narcissists become dependant on their partners. And create an unspoken agreement where they’re responsible for looking after them. Like a carer.
They hope to guilt you into taking them back. And encourage fear that something bad will happen to them, if you no longer care for them. Like you’re abandoning a child.
This tactic also plays on your ego. Because the narcissist puts you on a pedestal, by claiming you’re the only person on Earth capable of saving them. But this a lie, and it doesn’t make sense.
For a start, if they really believed this, they would have treated you better. Plus, it’s likely you’re not the greatest therapist on Earth. So there’s probably plenty of people who can help them just as much as you, if not more.
Narcissists say “Only you can save me” to entice you to fear the consequences of not taking them back. So that you feel responsible for any harm that comes their way. Even if it’s self inflicted.
Always remember, you’re not responsible for anyone else. Not fully grown adults. You’re only responsible for yourself. So if the narcissist chooses not to look after themselves, that’s on them. You can’t be expected to guard them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
I’m Ill
In a similar vein, narcissists may claim they’re suffering with a serious illness. Hoping to tug on your heart strings, so you feel guilty for leaving them.
Claiming they have a life threatening illness, lowers your guard. Because it’s natural to feel compassion, even for people who’ve wronged you. So you’re less likely to keep your boundaries strong.
Even if this tactic doesn’t immediately work, it usually allows them to open the lines of communication. Which gives them the chance to try other tricks to win you back.
I’ve Changed
Narcissists may explicitly claim they’ve changed. Or they may imply it through their actions.
They may, for example, go to therapy. Not because they want to change, but to “prove” they have. Even though they’re not genuinely committed to change. They may decide they’ve found religion. Or they may get a new job, if that was an issue before.
Sadly, narcissists rarely change permanently for the better. Although they may give the appearance that they have.
They may act super nice whilst trying to win you back. And may keep this up for the first few weeks, whilst getting their feet back under the table. But just like when they’re love bombing, they eventually return back to type, once they’ve got what they want.
We’re Soul Mates
Narcissists often drum into their partners minds that they’re soul mates, kindred spirits, or similar otherworldly bonds. But this isn’t the romantic gesture it may seem.
Narcissists often claim you’re soul mates, to create the impression you have an unbreakable bond. Then you’re less likely to leave them. Despite how badly they treat you. Because who willingly throws away such a divine connection?
Just remember, the soul mates line is drivel. And the narcissists doesn’t even believe it themselves. Which is why they treat you as they do. And why they spout the same nonsense to all their partners.
Remember The Good Times
Narcissist relationships are never 100% bad. Because they know they have to throw their partners a bone every now and then, to keep them sweet.
So they may talk about nice places you went together. And even send pictures and videos of the “good times”.
This is a deliberate ploy to stir up your emotions. And get you focussing on the good times, whilst forgetting the bad times you endured.
So remember, as much as you may decide to forgive, never forget the bad times you went through. Because that was the reality of the situation. And the same will happen in the future. Why wouldn’t it?
For The Sake Of The Kids
Despite not caring about their children during the relationship, the narcissist now suddenly cares. And claims they want to save the relationship for the sake of the kids.
But if they really cared, they would treat you better, and keep the relationship strong. Rather than look out for themselves all the time.
Sadly this is a ploy to win you back. And is often evidenced by how they try to spend more time with you, than their children when they come to visit. They may also stop these visits if they sense they’re not getting anywhere with you.
I’ll Kill Myself If You Don’t Take Me Back
Some narcissists go as far as threatening to kill themselves, if you don’t take them back. Or they may hint at it.
This is another attempt to make you feel responsible for them. And worry for their safety if you don’t play ball.
But the fact is, they’re a grown adult. And it’s their responsibility to look after themselves. Not yours.
It’s unrealistic and unfair to hold you hostage, and expect you to devote your life to “saving” them. Especially as they wouldn’t do the same for you.
Final Thoughts
All these tactics share a common theme. They’re designed to engage your emotions.
It’s well known in psychology that when you’re in an emotional state, your logic flies out the window. And you make poor decisions.
When a narcissist wants you back, they try to lure you into making bad decisions. Rather than give you the space to make a sensible decision, that’s best for you both.
This shows that deep down they know your life is better without them. Plus it also shows they don’t care about what’s best for you. Only what they can take from you. So please bear this in mind if a narcissist ever tries these manipulation tactics to win you back.
Please CLICK HERE For How To Go No Contact With A Narcissist