After a narcissist relationship, many people realise they ignored their intuition. And regret not listening to it more.
At the beginning, they may have ignored the red flags. And continued seeing the narcissist, despite feeling uneasy around them.
As the relationship matured, they may have ignored feelings that their partner was unfaithful. Or that they didn’t have their best interests at heart. Convincing themselves that they were in a normal loving relationship.
Towards the end, they may have ignored feelings that they were slowly being discarded. Thinking it must be paranoia. Then suddenly, the relationship ends.
During my narcissist relationship, I ignored many gut feelings. Which nagged at me for years. But it was only after the relationship, I realised this. (I’ll talk more about this later).
Why do we ignore our intuition during narcissist relationships? In this article I’ll discuss several reasons why narcissists stop us trusting our intuition…
Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
Love Bombing
At the beginning of relationships, most narcissists love bomb. This is where they act like your perfect partner. They’re kind and considerate. Like all the things you like. And seem to worship the ground you walk on.
Most of us have never experienced this sort of attention. And it’s easy to fall for it.
This romantic whirlwind puts you in an emotional state of mind. Where you can’t think clearly. Which suppresses thoughts of things not feeling right. Or being too good to be true. Because we so badly want this “ideal” relationship to live up to its promise.
They Get You In An Anxious State
Once you’ve been with a narcissists a while, the games begin. They start putting you down in subtle ways. Create arguments out of thin air. And learn which buttons to push.
On top of this, narcissists lead chaotic lives. And rely on their partners to organise everything. And maintain order. Whilst they swan around, without a care in the world.
This pushes their partners into a state of anxiety. Because so much rests on their shoulders. And the narcissist increases this pressure with their behaviours.
In this state of mind, your intuition is weakened. Because you’re in survival mode. With your thoughts dominated by the problems the narcissist create. And the many responsibilities bearing down on you.
Isolate You From Friends And family
It’s common for narcissists to isolate their partners from their family and friends. They may physically move them to a new area to live. Or throw a spanner in the works by causing fallouts with people they’re close to.
Narcissists do this because they know an isolated person is more controllable. Because they have no one to discuss their thoughts and feelings with. And to confirm their validity.
When you’re alone with your thoughts and feelings, it’s more difficult to understand them. And have faith that they’re right. Because there’s no one to confirm them.
It Seems Far Fetched
During my relationship with a narcissist, my gut was telling me that she only wanted me to help raise her child, and make life easier. But at the time, this seemed far fetched.
In my naïve mind, no one would buy a house, get married, and share your life – just to use you. So I assumed I must be paranoid.
What most people don’t realise is that narcissists think differently to neuro-typicals. So we struggle comprehending the things they do.
To make sense of things, we often assume we must be wrong. And have misunderstood them. Or that we’re paranoid, or deluded.
We put our way of thinking onto the narcissist. And this causes us to ignore our gut feelings, because we don’t believe these feelings can be true.
Gaslighting
Narcissists either intentionally or unintentionally gaslight their partners. Some narcissists actively want their partners to stop trusting their perceptions. So they play various mind games to achieve this.
They may say or do something. Then deny it later. For no other reason than to play with your mind. They may move things around the house, then deny it. Which of course gets you doubting yourself. Because who’d deliberately do something like that?
Narcissists may also gaslight their partners as a by-product of their manipulations and dishonesty. As they may say one thing, then do something else. Or lie to cover their tracks. Which is confusing and disorientating.
Whether it’s deliberate or not, this gaslighting convinces us that our perceptions are often “wrong”. And if our perceptions are wrong, our intuition can be too. So many people lose trust in themselves. And rely on the narcissists version of “reality”. Which of course is extremely biased.
The Narcissists Delusional World
Narcissists live in a delusional world. And convince themselves that the “reality” they want, is the reality we all live in.
For instance, the narcissist may consider themselves a highly important successful person. Even though they’ve done nothing of note. And they may act and talk like this was true.
The narcissists delusions throw their partners. Because the narcissist is so utterly convinced of their version of reality. In fact, the narcissist is probably more sure of their delusions, than their partner is of reality.
After a while, their partner may trust the narcissists version of reality more than their own logic and intuition. Which is understandable, since they spend so much time exposed to the narcissist.
Blame Shifting
When a narcissist does something wrong, they instinctively blame others. And usually their primary partner cops it.
Narcissists are so used to blame shifting, that they can be very convincing. And years of this pollutes their partners mind.
The narcissists partner may feel that they’ve done nothing wrong. But the narcissist convinces them they have. Using deflection, twisted logic, and other tricks.
Years of this erodes their trust in their intuition. Because even though they feel right, the narcissist proves them “wrong”. Resulting in them thinking they’ve done something bad, even when they’ve behaved perfectly reasonably.
This convinces their partner that their radar is off. And that they can’t trust their own thoughts and feelings.
Narcissists Black And White Thinking
When you decline a narcissists “request”, they often demand to know why. And when you explain that you don’t feel like it, they rarely accept this as a reason.
Narcissists are often black and white in their thinking. And expect you to be too. So when you explain that you don’t feel like doing something, they demand a reason. Even though you don’t always have the words to say why.
We’re all heavily influenced by the people we spend the most time with. And if you spend a lot of time with a narcissist, then you can’t help but be influenced.
Since narcissists dismiss your intuition, you end up doing the same. Which means you learn to ignore those gut feelings. Because they can’t always be rationally explained.
Sleep Deprivation
Many partners of narcissists become sleep deprived. Either deliberately, or as a consequence of the narcissists behaviours.
Some narcissist intentionally deprive their partners of sleep to weaken them. Because they know that someone who’s tired and confused is easier to control. So they may deliberately wake them when they’re sleeping. Or cause arguments late at night, so they struggle to sleep.
During a narcissist relationship, most of the responsibilities are thrust onto their partners. Whilst the narcissist acts in a carefree manor. Which creates worry and anxiety, that hampers sleep.
A sleep deprived person finds it difficult to trust their senses. Never mind their intuition. As they sleepwalk through life. And seeing this, the narcissist is only too happy to offer their version of reality. Negating all your thoughts and feelings.
Final Thoughts
You rarely hear people complain that they listened too much to their intuition. But you do hear them say they wished they’d listened to it more. Especially when it comes to narcissists.
Whilst your intuition isn’t infallible, it’s a powerful guide. Because it draws from everything buried in your subconscious mind. And it isn’t restricted by words.
If you have a gut feeling about something, never dismiss it. Whilst it’s possible it’s wrong, it’s worth giving it some thought. Especially if these feelings keep nagging away at you.
The more you listen to your intuition, the more powerful it gets. And the stronger the connection you build with it. Plus you learn to interpret these feelings more accurately.
If someone enters your life, and you feel uneasy around them, then it’s a huge red flag. And should be taken seriously. Because too many people ignore these warning signs. And later, they live to regret it.
Please CLICK HERE For The Subtle Signs Someone’s A Narcissist
Or Scroll Down For My Most Popular Articles…
