Accountability is about taking responsibility for your actions. It helps us live harmoniously with others. Because it allows us to see the error of our ways. And make adjustments to improve.
However narcissists don’t want accountability. They want free reign to do as they please. Because they feel superior, and entitled. Plus they don’t care how their actions affect others. As long as they get what they want.
To avoid accountability, narcissists use multiple tactics, and create an aura where they can’t be challenged. Here’s some ways narcissists avoid accountability…
Please Watch This Short Video To Help Your Understanding…
Being Deliberately Vague
Narcissists are slippery customers. And many are experts at being vague, by not giving straight answers.
Being vague stops them being held accountable. Because although they may have been deceptive or antagonistic, it’s easy to back track and say you misinterpreted them.
This takes the blame away from themselves, and puts it back on to you. Since you’re allegedly the one who misinterpreted them.
Power
Narcissists may avoid accountability by seeking positions of power. Because they know that if they have power, most people fear confronting them.
The narcissist may become a CEO. Join the Police. Become a prominent member of a religion. Or even work in politics.
When in power, narcissists use it to their advantage. Knowing that most people will back down, rather than fight them. Which allows them to avoid accountability, and get away with almost anything.
Flying Monkeys
The more covert narcissists may summon their flying monkeys to do their bidding. They may, for example, smear someone with false or exaggerated claims. And encourage their flying monkeys to attack them.
This allows narcissists to hurt people from afar. Whilst giving them to ability to deny accountability, since they weren’t physically involved.
Denial
Most narcissists deny things until the end of time. Even in the face of overwhelming evidence.
Narcissists know that when they strenuously deny things, it leaves a shred of doubt in your mind. And because you’re a fair person, you’re likely to give them the benefit of the doubt. Even if you’re 95% sure they’re lying.
It’s often difficult to 100% prove that someone has done something wrong. So if the narcissist fiercely denies it, then there’s a good chance they get away with it.
Illness
The more covert narcissists use illness to avoid accountability. Because it’s an easy way to appear good, whilst secretly taking advantage of others.
The narcissist may exaggerate or fabricate illnesses. And these “illnesses” could be physical or mental.
Narcissist illnesses are usually invisible, such as a bad back, fibromyalgia, depression, etc. And flair up at convenient times.
If someone calls the narcissist out for something they’ve done wrong, they may blame their illness. Then people feel sorry for them, and give them a free pass.
Take Advantage Of Protected Status
If a narcissist has a protected status, then they will use it to avoid accountability. For instance, if they’re disabled, female, or from an ethnic background.
Some narcissists attack people for discrimination, when they try to hold them accountable. Even if it’s nothing to do with what they’re being confronted about. So they may, for example, accuse you of being sexist, when you confront them about smearing you behind your back. Even though it’s totally unrelated.
Some narcissists take this further. And if they don’t have a protected status, they may fake one. Just to muscle in on the benefits. So they may claim they’re from an ethnic minority when they’re not. They have a hidden disability. Or even that they’re from a different gender, if that gets them more protection.
Virtue Signalling
Some narcissists avoid accountability by virtue signalling, to the point of being almost untouchable.
They may become celebrities, who gain the public’s trust. Work high up in religion or law enforcement. Or even work for charities.
Some narcissists create an aura where people find it impossible to believe they’re capable of doing harm. So when they do, people question their own perceptions, and make excuses for them.
Smear Campaign
To avoid accountability, narcissists may smear someone who challenges them. And ruin their reputation. Then people won’t believe them.
The narcissist may lie or exaggerate about things they’ve done wrong. Relaying it in the most dramatic way possible, for maximum effect. Once smeared, the narcissist can deny their stories. And point to their “instability” as proof they’re lying.
Narcissists also use smear campaigns to warn others. Letting them know that the same will happen to them, should they dare hold them accountable.
Silent Treatment
If a narcissist can’t talk their way out of something, then they may use the silent treatment. This is a useful tactic, because no explanation is required. Just silence.
Instead of defending themselves, the narcissist goes silent and creates an atmosphere. Which implies the other person is at fault.
This knocks people off balance. Because although the narcissist did wrong, they reverse the victim and offender. And act like they’re the victim. All whilst remaining silent.
These means their unreasonable words or actions aren’t discussed. So they’re never exposed. And it leaves the other person wondering what they did wrong. Letting the narcissist off the hook.
The silent treatment is obviously unpleasant to those receiving it. So when the narcissist finally talks, most people are relieved. And either forget, or can’t be bothered to follow up holding the narcissist accountable.
Attack
Some narcissists avoid accountability by fiercely attacking anyone who challenges them. Rather than defend their position, or hold their hands up and admit fault.
Narcissists know they can’t defend what they’ve done. So they counter attack with something the other person has done. Even if it’s completely unrelated, and happened a long time ago.
So if you call them out for arriving 2 hours late, they may attack you for when you knocked over their drink 3 years ago. If though it’s got nothing to do with it. It’s crazy, but it often muddies the waters enough to get them off the hook, and avoid accountability.
Circular Arguments
Many narcissists avoid accountability by using circular arguments. They may deliberately misinterpret things you say. Change the subject. And complain about unrelated things you’ve said and done. All to avoid the issue you’re addressing.
After a while, most people become tired and frustrated, and give up. Because they’re getting nowhere. And the narcissist walks away scot-free.
Blame Shifting
Most narcissists are skilled at making things they do seem like your fault. So not only do they get themselves off the hook, they implicate you too.
Narcissists often blame their partners for “making” them do bad things. They may blame them for driving them to an affair. For making them angry. And even for physical mistakes they make, such as dropping things.
This pushes their partner on to the back foot. So that whilst they’re busy defending or questioning themselves, they’re distracted from what the narcissist has done.
Intimidation
Some narcissists fly off the handle when challenged. Not necessarily because they’re angry, but to intimidate.
Narcissists know you don’t like fighting. So they may avoid accountability, by turning your concerns into blazing rows. Rather than discuss them rationally, like adults.
This muddies the waters, and diverts attention away from your worries. Plus it serves as a warning for next time you dare question them. Because you know what’s likely to happen next.
Play The Victim
If all else fails, then the narcissist may play the victim to avoid accountability. They may blame mental health issues for why they abuse people. And even blame their upbringing.
Some narcissists learn to cry at will. Because they know that caring people feel bad for contributing to their “hurt”. So they back off when they see them “upset”. Even though the narcissist was clearly at fault, and they know it.
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