During a relationship with a narcissist, many people change, become more narcissistic. There’s a few reasons for this, which I’ll discuss in this article.

Narcissism is a spectrum we’re all on. And there’s nothing wrong with some narcissism. It’s healthy to look after ourselves and to feel important. But it’s a problem if taken too far.

Throughout life, our levels of narcissism fluctuate. Depending on what’s going on, and how we feel at the time. If you spend a lot of time around a narcissist, it’s likely to spike.

If you don’t have narcissistic personality disorder, this only needs to be temporary. It’s learned narcissism. You can easily get out of a narcissistic funk. Especially if you reduce your contact with narcissists.

If you know the ways narcissists make you more narcissistic, you’re better placed to fight them off. Here’s I’ll discuss some of the ways narcissists turn you into a narcissist (sort of)…

Please Check Out This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

Mirror

In the early part of a relationship, narcissists often mirror the other person. They do this to draw them in. They fake having the same hobbies, opinions, and even personality.

Narcissists don’t really have a personality of their own. So they manufacture one to attract people. And they usually base their fake personality on the person they’re trying to impress. They can maintain this fake persona for months, even years.

Narcissists become a fake version of you. And entice you to fall in love with a mirror reflection of yourself. Which is essentially what they do – fall in love with themselves!

Sick Of Their Selfishness

Most of us have a natural balancing mechanism in our brain. When someone does us a few favours, we feel we owe them. So we do favours in return. Over time this roughly balances out. This is normal human behaviour. But narcissists don’t think like this.

Narcissists happily take and take. And don’t feel a shred of guilt. They have impaired empathy. So they don’t feel for you, or see things from your perspective. So they don’t care that you’ve given way more than them. They just don’t feel it.

Years of this takes it’s toll. And you’re left thinking, “Why should I keep giving?” After a while you naturally become more selfish, as you learn you can’t rely on them to do the right thing. And who can blame you for this?

You Feel Threatened

Narcissists like to make their significant others feel anxious and on edge. This helps them control and manipulate them. They might triangulate you with someone else. They may gaslight you to play with your sense of reality. Or become bullying and threatening.

Feeling threatened and on edge naturally increases your narcissistic behaviours. Your fight or flight hormones are released into your body. Causing you to anger more easily. Think about this – how gentle, kind, and considerate can you be when you’re running on adrenaline?

When you feel threatened, you naturally focus on your own welfare. Which increases your levels of narcissism.

Encourage You Into Their Fights

Narcissists often pick fights to create drama. And to be the centre of attention. If you’re their significant other, you will get dragged in.

Narcissists may goad their significant others into fighting their battles for them. “Are you going to let them talk to me like that?”

Narcissists bend the facts and twist logic to make them seem like they’re right. And you’re left fighting a battle on the wrong side. Sometimes against your natural instincts.

Convention dictates you side with your loved ones. So you end up being the narcissists accomplice. Supporting them with their narcissistic ways.

Encourage Narcissistic Behaviour

Narcissists like to feel idolised. And part of feeling idolised is encouraging you to be like them. After all, they’re fantastic. So why wouldn’t you want to be like them?!

You behaving like them also normalises their narcissistic behaviours. So they can relax more, and be their true narcissistic selves. Without as much fear of judgement.

A narcissist might encourage you to have a go at a waiter because of a minor discrepancy. Argue with friends and family. Or fake being arrogant, “You need to sound more confident.”

The more narcissistic they can get you to be, the more THEY can be. And get away with it. As you will barely notice.

Drag You Into Their Fantasy World

Narcissists live in a fantasy land. Here they’re rich, powerful, and superior to everybody else. And if you’re their significant other, they need you on board. Because they don’t want you shattering their delusions.

Narcissists have a false self that’s vastly superior to their true self. And they fight tooth and nail to maintain their delusions.

My ex would make out to friends we were wealthier than we were. And she’d often encourage me to do the same. To some degree, she dragged me into her fantasy world of being rich and important.

Narcissists need their significant others to share their delusions to some extent. So they devise many subtle manipulations to make this happen.

Fool You Into Thinking You’re A Narcissist

It’s common for narcissists to accuse significant others of being narcissists. This is to hide their narcissism. Whilst a conscientious partner is busy defending themselves, the narcissist deflects attention away from their own narcissistic behaviours.

Narcissists usually choose partners who are thoughtful and conscientious. They know that if they accuse them of being narcissists, they’re likely to take this on board. And start to think that maybe they’re right.

Narcissists know that if they keep repeating their accusation, you’re likely to believe them. And forget that it’s them that’s the narcissist.

Exposure

As humans, we’re highly influenced by those we spend time with. And we start to adopt their behaviours. The same is true when spending time with narcissists.

Being around narcissists makes their behaviours appear more “normal”. And against your better judgement, you can start acting in a similar way.

But just as you learn to adopt their behaviours, you can learn to reject them. Especially once you remove or limit your exposure with narcissists. So get away as soon as you can!

Final Thoughts

Being around narcissists might make you behave more narcissistic, but it doesn’t give you a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

NPD’s are created at a young age. And their whole personality is built on a fake persona that’s detached from their emotions. Which is why they lack empathy and emotional maturity.

If you spend a lot of time around narcissists, and become more narcissistic, you can turn things around.

Reduce or eliminate your exposure to narcissists. And spend more time with empathetic people. They will influence you back to your neuro-typical behaviours. And allow you to relax and be your empathetic self.

Narcissists may be able to drag you into their narcissistic ways for a while. But it’s not who you are. So you can easily claw your way back.

Reduce the time you spend with narcissists. In fact, avoid them if you can. Then you can heal and return to being the person you should be. It’s NEVER too late!

Please CLICK HERE For Tips On Healing From A Narcissist

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