This article explores dating green flags that indicate a caring and empathetic person. Someone who wants a mutually beneficial relationship, rather than a play thing to use.

As we all know, narcissists love bomb and play the nice act at the beginning of relationships. That’s because they know you’d run a mile if they unleashed their narcissistic behaviours from the get go. So you see many positive behaviours at the beginning, whilst they’re trying to draw you in.

That’s why you can’t concretely conclude someone’s safe when they display these green flags. Because it could be part of their act to reel you in. Particularly if they’re higher functioning and/or covert narcissists.

However there’s many green flags that indicate they’re more likely to be good people. And if they consistently display these behaviours, it’s a good sign.

Here’s some dating green flags to look out for if you want to avoid narcissists…

Please Check Out This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

Honours Boundaries

A good partner is happy to honour your boundaries. And they’re likely to remember them in the future. Because they respect your boundaries are important to you. And things that are important to you are important to them.

If you like to be home by 10PM, then it’s a green flag if they accept this without pestering you to stay out later. Especially if they remember this boundary next time you date. Bonus points if they remind you when it’s 9.30PM, and the time’s approaching.

Prepared To Take Things Slowly

Someone who wants a mutually beneficial relationship is prepared to take things slowly. In fact they welcome it. First because they respect your wishes if you request this. And second, they want to make sure you’re a good match, as much as you do.

Narcissists on the other hand aren’t too fussy. As long as you do as you’re told, then they’re happy to steam right ahead. That’s because they aim to bend you to fit their needs anyway. So it doesn’t matter to them if you’re a match. As long as you’re compliant.

Narcissists try to rush through the stages of a relationship to tie you down as quickly as possible. Then they’re free to take advantage, because you’re less likely to leave. So take things slow, and if they consistently respect this, then it’s a BIG green flag.

Speaks Warmly About Their Friends And Family

Good empathetic people generally speak well about their friends and family. Yes we all have our gripes. But their life shouldn’t be filled with conflicts that are always someone else’s fault.

Having good things to say about people means they’re likely to know how to compromise and get along. But if they speak badly about everyone, then there’s a fair chance THEY are the problem.

Comfortable Discussing Their Feelings

Narcissists are disconnected from their emotions. So they don’t experience them properly, and don’t fully understand them.

This causes most narcissists to avoid discussing their feelings. And if they do, they’re uncomfortable, because its such an alien subject. Plus they consider feelings a sign of weakness. So they also avoid them to not appear weak.

Sometimes a narcissist comments that they “don’t know how to feel” about something. This is because they suppress their emotions. Then decide what to “feel” based on what’s advantageous at the time.

So it’s a green flag if they’re honest and natural about their feelings. And don’t run away from them.

Considerate Without Seeking Recognition

Being considerate is widely thought of as a green flag. But narcissists often show consideration at the beginning of relationships. Because they want to impress, and hide their narcissistic ways.

However if someone shows kindness and consideration but does not seek recognition, then it’s a green flag. You might for example discover that they regularly help a neighbour. But they don’t show off about it. Or they do charity work with no fanfare. But be careful.

Some narcissists are skilled at making it seem like they’re not seeking recognition. They may for example “accidentally” leave out a letter which shows they donate to charity. Or casually slip into conversation their good deeds, “I was on my way home from helping my neighbour when I bumped into Brian…”

Someone who’s prepared to help without seeking recognition waves a green flag. But be careful they’re not using subtle means to gain recognition.

Social Media

In a similar way, if their social media is rammed full of posts about being kind to others, then it’s likely they’re virtue signalling. And may be hiding behind a façade of empathy which they don’t have.

A green flag is where they post the odd thing about helping others, but it doesn’t dominate their feed. Because they’re not looking to prove themselves.

Self Reflective

A definite green flag is when someone is self reflective and works on improving themselves. And accepts that they may have acted wrong.

For instance they may scold their child. Then later ask if you thought they were harsh – but not in a way that makes you feel forced to say no.

And if you do say they were harsh, they accept this, rather than argue their position. Because if they don’t accept the criticism, then they’re looking for a cheer leader, not honest feedback. And that’s not a good sign.

Few Expectations

Someone wanting a genuine relationship allows it to take its natural path. Rather than having predetermined expectations of what they want. Then expecting you to fit rigidly their plans.

We all have one or two things we expect from relationships. You might want someone who’s into outdoor pursuits. Or who doesn’t take drugs. But expectations shouldn’t cover almost everything. Because that means you want a compliant dummy, rather than a relationship with a living breathing human.

Lets You Take The Lead

A green flag is when someone is prepared to let you take the lead sometimes. And allows you to dictate where you go and what you do.

Narcissists may try to create the illusion that you’ve chosen. But usually they’ve steered you to “choose”, and it often suits them more than you.

Relinquishing control is something most narcissists struggle with. So if they let you take the lead, then it’s a green flag.

Listens And Retains

Narcissists make better talkers than listeners. They don’t care what you have to say, because they have more important things to talk about. Usually themselves. But in the early stages they may fake listening to you. Just to appease you.

If someone remembers things you tell them, then it shows they’re genuinely listening. Because they can’t remember something they didn’t hear.

So retaining things you’ve said is a green flag. It shows they actively listen. And hopefully they care about your input. If they never remember things you say, and their eyes glaze over whilst you talk, then alarm bells should be ringing.

What They Say Matches What They Do

A narcissists words and actions frequently don’t match. Whereas a genuine person shows little difference between what they say and what they do. They speak their truth, and their truth is reflected in their actions.

If they tell you that their family is important to them, then you see evidence of this. They regularly contact them, and help them when needed.

If they say they love reading, then not only do you see a large collection of books, you see them actually reading them. Or at least evidence of them being read. Such as the books moving off their shelf, and book marks changing position.

If their actions match their words, then it’s a green flag. Because it shows they’re not pretending to be someone they’re not.

Please CLICK HERE For Narcissist Body Language Clues

You Feel Comfortable Saying No

Narcissists have a way of making people feel uncomfortable saying no, even when they’re being nice. They know how to word things to make it difficult to refuse. As they’ve had a life time of practice.

A good potential partner always wants you to feel comfortable saying no. Because they care about your wishes, and don’t want to force you into anything. So they ask you in a permissive way, where you’re free to say no, without feeling awkward or guilty.

Your Gut Feelings Are Positive

Whilst our gut feelings aren’t infallible, they’re always worth listening to. And if your gut feelings are positive, then this is a good sign.

If you feel comfortable when you’re apart, then this is another green flag. Because if you worry about who they’re with and what they’re up to, then your gut is telling you something’s wrong. And deep down you don’t trust them. And the question you must ask yourself is, why do you feel this way?

Final Thoughts

These green flags are a guide only. Because the higher functioning and covert narcissists may fake these traits. But if you take things slow, you’re better positioned to weed out the narcissists.

Narcissists eventually grow impatient, and try to pressure you to move quicker. Because they don’t want to be kind and considerate forever. So they try to lock you in with marriage, children, cohabiting etc. as soon as possible. Then they can do as they please.

In time they make mistakes. And you see their narcissistic behaviours surface. Because as good as their acting is, their mask always slips. And they reveal their true selves. So take your time, and look out for the green and red flags.

Please CLICK HERE For The Red Flags Someone’s A Narcissist

Warning Signs Someone’s A Narcissist