Narcissists have a social disability. They lack emotional empathy and their personality is disordered.

Narcissists personalities are built on shaky foundations. And with the best will in the world, you WON’T cure them. But you can manage them.

This is important if you’re forced to deal with narcissists. You may work with a narcissist. Have one in your family. Or have a narcissist neighbour, for example.

Here’s some tactics to help you get the best out of a narcissist…

Please Check Out This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

Trade Favours

Most of us have an automatic balancing mechanism in our minds. When someone does us a favour, we instinctively feel the need to pay them back. It might not be straight away, but we’re aware when someone has been good to us. And we jump at the chance to return the favour in the future.

Narcissists don’t have this mechanism. They’re happy to take and take, without giving anything back.

When you deal with neurotypicals, it’s usually OK to trust they’ll do something for you at some point. And it all naturally balances in the long run. But with narcissists, you have to treat them differently.

If they want a favour, ask them for one in return. And insist on yours first.

If they receive your favour first, they’re likely to either forget, or ignore the favour they owe you. Because they’re now satisfied, and they just don’t think about your needs. By insisting on their favour first, you ensure some degree of fairness.

This can massively improve your relationship. You feel better around them, and not like you’re giving all the time. And they actually respect you more.

Of course you don’t need to do this every time. But it’s worth implementing every now and then, as it helps you gain their respect. And stops you feeling like things are totally one-sided.

Narcissists Care About Their Image More Than People

Narcissists want to be adored by the world in general. They care what the public think of them. More than their own family and friends! But you can play on this.

For example, if the narcissist always races off ahead whilst everyone struggles to keep up. If you tell the narcissist this is hard work, they won’t care. “You should walk faster.”

But if you tell them that people see this and think they don’t care about their family. Then you have their attention!

Find ways to appeal to their cravings for public adoration, when making requests. “Everyone will see how great you are!” is a great way of framing things!

Don’t Just Criticise

Narcissists don’t want to hear criticism. And if they won’t listen, what’s the point?

So if you do give criticism, find ways of being ultra gentle. And spinning it into a positive. Then you bypass their ego, so they take it on board.

One tactic is to sandwich criticisms between compliments. Start with a compliment. Gently criticise. Then compliment again.

“You’re a strong leader. But sometimes people feel intimidated by you. I think they’ll see what a great leader you are if you’re a bit gentler with them.”

This example tells them how strong a leader they are. And gently says people are intimidated by them. Because they’re so great It doesn’t directly blame the narcissist.

Then it suggests a way of making people realise what a great leader they are. Which is something they want. What narcissist doesn’t want more people to realise how great they are?!

This way of talking is much better received than saying “Stop being bossy to everyone!”

Compliments

Narcissists NEED to be adored. And are constantly looking out for praise and admiration.

The odd compliment sprinkled here and there helps grease the wheels when dealing with narcissists. And can placate them for a while.

If you want them to do something for you, tell them how good they are at it. Then they feel good, and want to show off their skills.

For instance a wife of a narcissist may say to her husband, “Can you tell the kids? They
listen to you because you have a better aura of authority. The narcissist then puffs out their chest, and tells the kids!

When he’s done this, compliment him for being such a good parent. Then he’s likely to do this again in the future.

Let Them Think It Was Their Idea

Narcissists are more compliant if they think it was their brilliant idea. So gently bring up an idea, but maybe in a cryptic way. Plant the seeds.

When they repeat the idea to make sense of it, act like they though of it. And tell them what a great idea they have! Then sit back and watch them carry out their (your!) plan.

Learn When To Back Away

Most narcissists treat you nice when they’re getting to know you. But once they’re more familiar, they unveil their narcissistic behaviours. This is VERY common.

I’ve had a lot of success with utilising this pattern with narcissist friends…

When they start to unleash their narcissist side, I’ve backed off for a while. I’ve stayed away and kept them at arms length. When some time has passed, I’ve re established contact.

I’ve found they go back to the initial “love bombing” stage where they’re nice to be around. This won’t last for ever. So when I notice their narcissistic side comes out again, I back off again for a while.

It’s important YOU re establish contact, and not them. If they establish contact, they’ll probably devalue you pretty quickly. Because they feel they have control over you.

If you initiate contact, they respect you and your boundaries more. They know you are capable of initiating and rescinding contact. So they want to please you to keep the contact going. Remember, narcissists NEED Attention!

Ignore Their Subtle Put Downs

Narcissists WILL subtly put you down every now and then. If you were to pull them up every time, you’d constantly be bickering. And who wants that?

Sometimes it’s best to ignore them. And act like they’ve not said anything. Remind yourself that their put downs are about their issues, not yours.

If they get really bad, calmly remove yourself from the situation. Narcissists don’t like attention being taken away. They’d much prefer you stay and argue.

Removing yourself gives you the upper hand. And they’ll think twice about pushing you so far next time.

Don’t Let Them Take Over Your Life

If you let them, a narcissist WILL take over your life. They see those closest to them as an extension of themselves. And your role is to satisfy them. Narcissists don’t consider you also have needs and wants.

You MUST remember to take time out for yourself. To do things YOU want to do. If you don’t, you can spiral into a world of anxiety and depression.

Make plans for yourself and stick to them. And don’t buy into their emotional blackmail. Remember, it’s not your job to look after them.

Be Positive

Don’t just focus on their negative traits. Try to see their qualities and focus on them. Remember, they are damaged people. And most narcissists do have some good qualities.

You can’t change a narcissist. But you can change your attitude towards them. Which can make a huge difference to your interactions.

Learn When To Walk Away

If a narcissist is being abusive, or affecting you too much mentally, then it might be time to step away for good.

Whilst it might not be their fault they have this condition, it’s not yours either. If you feel they are ruining your life and your happiness, then you must consider parting ways.

Ultimately you’re responsible for YOUR health and happiness. Not theirs. And it’s not your responsibility to ruin your own life, to enhance theirs.

Final Thoughts

You can’t wait for a narcissist to be the bigger person and initiate healthy behaviours. It won’t happen. YOU must rise above if you want to get the best out of them.

Be positive and accept them for who they are. They can’t and won’t change. But YOU can change, and get the best out of them.

It’s not easy, and you’ll still have moments where you want to throttle them. But if you learn these techniques, and develop some of your own, you can live a more harmonious life around a narcissist.

Remember, if things get unmanageable over a period of time, then you have every right to remove them from your life. It’s YOUR life, and your choice.

Please CLICK HERE For How To Remain Calm Around A Narcissist

Or Scroll Down For My Most Popular Posts (Mobile)…

How To Stay Calm When Dealing With A Narcissist