The way narcissists treat different people in their lives is like night and day. To some people, the narcissist is the most wonderful person on Earth. They’re kind, caring, and will do anything to help. But to others, they’re selfish bullies. Who care about nothing but themselves.

If you’re close to a narcissist, particularly a spouse, you may have noticed how they change personas, depending on who’s around. And whilst we all do this to some extent, narcissists take this to extremes.

Here’s some of the reasons why narcissists treat different people so differently…

Please Check Out This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

Narcissists Want To Be Adored

Narcissists want to be liked and admired. And they love nothing more than winning over new “fans”. So when they meet a new person, they crank up their charisma to eleven.

The narcissist is charming, funny and attentive. And actually listens to what they say. Leaving the impression that they’re one of the nicest people you could wish to meet.

But the narcissist isn’t doing this because they’re nice. And they’re not doing it to make the other person feel good. They’re doing it to feed their own ego. Being “nice” and any good feelings, are just a by-product.

If the narcissist is as great as they think they are, then they must have legions of adoring fans. And they can’t achieve this by acting narcissistic with everybody.

So they turn on the charm with casual acquaintances and strangers, in the hope of winning them over. And it’s easy to play this role during limited interactions. Because anyone can pretend to be nice for a while.

So the narcissist might be nice to the local shop worker. And the person who delivers their mail. And maybe even their neighbours.

These short periods of niceties gives the narcissist a good “bang for their buck”. Because they gain oodles of fresh supply, for just a few minutes “work”. But it’s a different story for their “nearest and dearest”…

Narcissists Mask Removed

Pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting. And just as you kick off your hard shoes after a tiring day, narcissists rip off their masks when they get home.

It’s usually behind closed doors where narcissists unleash their true narcissistic selves. And their immediate family bares the brunt of it.

Narcissists reason that their own spouse and children don’t need to be impressed. Because they already provide much of what they need, such as attention and adoration. Any anyway, it’s almost impossible to pretend to be nice every day, when you’re living with someone.

This leaves their “loved ones” in a confusing and frustrating place. Because they see the narcissist treat strangers better than their own family.

Something To Be Gained

Narcissists aren’t nice for the sake of it. Being nice isn’t natural for them. So if they’re going to put themselves out, there must be something to be gained. Or why bother?

The narcissist might laugh at their bosses lame jokes. And bend over backwards to help them, because they want to climb the corporate ladder.

Or they might buy lunch for their latest crush. In the hope of becoming more than friends.

Narcissists treat people who have something they want, far better than those that don’t. And it all boils down to self interest. “What’s in it for me?” So if a narcissist is nice to you, then question why.

Balance Of Power

In a similar way, narcissists treat people who have power, far better than those that don’t. And this covers many different types of power.

If the narcissist is a 7 stone weakling, then they’ll probably treat a 16 stone meathead with respect. But not if the tables were turned.

Narcissists also treat people with respect if the other person is mentally stronger. And won’t stand for their nonsense. But if they smell weakness, then they’re likely to exploit it.

In a nutshell, many narcissists are bullies. And if they can get away with treating someone badly, then they probably will. But if someone has power over them, then they’re likely to treat them well.

Love Bombing

As I mentioned earlier, narcissists usually treat their primary partners badly. But when their relationship ends, their now ex may be miffed to find out that they’re treating their new partner like royalty.

It can be upsetting to learn this, after all you’ve been through. And it can get you wondering if you did something to deserve it. You didn’t.

This is likely to be love bombing at play. And the narcissist is treating them well to draw them in. But in time, when they’ve tied them down, they’re likely to treat them as badly as they did you.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists have a Darwinist approach to their relationships. A dog-eat-dog kind of mindset. And if someone doesn’t have anything they want, and has less power, then they’re likely to treat them badly.

But if someone has something they want, such as good looks, money, or power, then they’re likely to treat them MUCH better. Especially if they’re also physically and mentally stronger than them.

This can lead to the frustrating predicament, where some people think the narcissist is an angel. Whereas others see a completely different side to them.

The text book scenario is where the narcissists family know how cold and uncaring they are. Yet strangers tell them they’re lucky to have them in their life, because they only see their good side.

In the workplace, those higher in the pecking order may consider the narcissist a conscientious team player, who’s easy to get on with. Whereas those lower down the food chain know they’re a selfish bully.

Narcissists treat different people VERY differently. So it’s always worth remembering that just because someone treats you well, it doesn’t mean they treat others the same.

Many abusers get away with it because they prey on the weak and vulnerable. Whilst playing the nice act to those in power. So if you’re in a position of power, bare in mind that those people you consider nice, may only be nice to you.

Please CLICK HERE To Learn About Narcissists Façade Management

Or Scroll Down For My Most Popular Posts (Mobile)…

Narcissists And Façade Management