When a narcissist bursts onto the scene, they’re a breath of fresh air. They’re funny, charming, and the life and soul of the party. They regale everyone with tales of their youth, as they hang on to every word. But after a while, narcissists usually lose popularity.

People begin to avoid the narcissist. Talk behind their back. And stop including them in their plans.

The narcissist may cling on to their most loyal supporters. But the star that once burnt brightly, fades into a whimper.

Why do narcissists lose popularity over time? Here’s my thoughts…

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Love Bombing Stops

When narcissists are new on the scene, they’re eager to please. They love winning over new people, because they want to be adored. So they pull out their “A Game”, impressing everyone in sight.

They’re often kind, considerate, charming, and funny. Generous with their time, money and compliments. Quickly becoming the star of the show. But once they’ve won people over, their mission is accomplished, and they change.

Narcissists reserve their energy to where it’s best spent. And for most narcissists, that’s impressing more new people. So now you’re old hat, the narcissist doesn’t try as hard. And their narcissistic behaviours begin to surface.

After their initial success, people start seeing the narcissists’ true selves. And realise they’re not who they thought they were. And begin to avoid them.

People Talk

Many people remain fooled by the narcissist, even when the cracks show. They may give them the benefit of the doubt, thinking it was an off day. Or believe the narcissists’ excuses.

They remember the kind and charismatic narcissist from yesterday. And take a while to let this go.

But people talk. And those that have sussed the narcissist, warn others. And point out their patterns of behaviours, exposing the narcissist.

With more people on board, the narcissist loses even more popularity. With greater numbers giving them a wide berth. They were once the cock of the walk. Now they’re turning into a feather duster.

Their Repertoire Grows Old And Tired

Narcissists are empty shells. And often memorise jokes, and steal their stories from others. They may have heard amusing anecdotes from people they’ve known in the past. Or even from TV. Then re-purpose them to use as their own.

Their jokes and stories are fun at first. And usually win them legions of fans. But after a while things go stale.

Most narcissists struggle thinking on their feet. They can’t be witty and entertaining on the fly. They rely heavily on pre-scripted material. And once they’ve shot their bolt, they recycle the same tired jokes and stories.

People soon cotton on. And realise that the narcissist isn’t as funny and charismatic as they first thought. In fact they see how tragic they are, trying so hard to impress people with the same handful of stories.

And because of their “creative licence”, inconsistencies begin to show. And the sharper members of their audience pick up on this. Realising they’re actually full of sh*t!

They Badly Cross Somebody

Most narcissists inevitably do something bad. They may bully someone mercilessly. Sleep with a friends partner. Borrow money and never pay it back, the list goes on.

Narcissists are ticking time bombs. And inevitably do something which damages their reputation.

Not only does this upset the person they crossed. But they tell others. Causing many people to keep them at arms length.

Get Off On Their Notoriety

Once the narcissists’ popularity wanes, they’re more desperate for attention. Some may go back to the initial love bombing stage. And try to win people over again with their fake nice act. Others go down the opposite route.

Like a naughty toddler, some narcissists seek negative attention, rather than be left out. And may deliberately cause trouble, just to remain in the spotlight.

Their antics get tongues wagging, giving the narcissist the attention they crave. And makes them feel powerful.

But whilst they get attention, their popularity inevitably takes a hit. Because who wants to spend time with someone who consistently acts up?

Their Associates Grow Older And Wiser

When they were young, people may have been impressed by the narcissists’ “love them and leave them” attitudes. And their “bad boy” or “bad girl” image.

As time passes, people tire from their antics. They may have been on the same wavelength in their youth, but now they’ve outgrown the narcissist. Here’s why…

Narcissists don’t take responsibility for their actions. Which means they rarely learn from their mistakes. In their mind they don’t make any. And if you don’t believe you make mistakes, how can you learn from them?

This causes most narcissists to stagnate in their development. And mature slower than their peers.

Their arrested development alienates them from old acquaintances. And pushes away the people that found them great company in their youth. Now they’re seen as tragic. Still banging the same old drum.

They Get More Narcissistic

Most neuro-typicals get less narcissistic with age. They learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them. And appreciate others wants and needs. But most narcissists get worse.

Their heyday is over. And they can no longer drive the opposite sex wild with a wink and a smile. They’re older and less relevant. And more vulnerable, as their physical and mental faculties decline.

Not many welcome the deterioration with age. But narcissists take it worse than most.

Narcissists believe they’re special. And normal rules don’t apply to them. But age is an equaliser. It hits us all, no matter how great we think we are.

With their shattered delusions, they become more bitter and jealous. Angry at the world for their cruel treatment. But there’s one small mercy…

Growing old gives them a free pass to be rude and cranky. Because people are more forgiving towards older people. And when a narcissist senses an opportunity, they take it.

The narcissist may have some well meaning friends and family who look out for them. But people usually see the ageing narcissist out of a sense of duty, rather than for any real affection.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists are often popular in their younger days, or when they’re new on the scene. But after a while, they cause trouble and create enemies. And their maturing friends drift away.

Some narcissists remedy this by moving to pastures new. Where their reputation has a clean bill of health. But they rarely change. And usually create the same problems wherever they go.

Older narcissists are usually abandoned by most of their friends. So they seek refuge by clinging on to one or two primary sources of supply.

Narcissists are usually left with people who feel obliged to spend time with them. Such as a spouse or close family members. And even then, some cantankerous narcissists burn these bridges.

Most narcissists start life high in the popularity stakes. With the world at their feet. But end up sad, bitter, and lonely. Going from one extreme to the other. Which is the story of their life.

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