After learning about narcissism, it can seem like narcissists are everywhere. Some work colleagues display red flags. You see narcissistic behaviour in the media and on the news. And even some of your family and friends show signs.
Why does it seem like narcissists are everywhere? Here’s a few reasons why…
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You’re A Narcissist Magnet
Some people are narcissist magnets. Particularly those who were brought up by narcissist parents.
Narcissists are obviously takers. With this in mind, it’s no surprise what trait they look for in other people… givers.
Narcissists home in on empathetic givers. Because they’re the easiest people to take from. And narcissists can sniff out givers from a thousand paces.
So if you think of others before yourself, then unfortunately you’re a narcissists dream. And they’re likely to target you. Which means that in your world, narcissists ARE everywhere.
If you’re this sort of person, then it helps to learn to be more assertive. Narcissists hate assertive people, because they’re more vocal in asserting their own needs and wants. And they stop boundary violations. Please CLICK HERE for how to be more assertive after a narcissist relationship.
Narcissists Are Over Represented
As you probably know, narcissists need lots of attention. Out of anyone, they’re the most active for seeking new friends and lovers. And due to their difficult natures, they often go through relationships faster than a hot knife through butter.
With this in mind, it’s logical that many people see more than their fair share of narcissists. Because narcissists are the ones out there, looking for people to latch on to. And they’re the ones who ruin relationships, and need to start over.
People lower on the narcissist spectrum are more comfortable spending time alone. So they’re less likely to push for new relationships. So you see less of these people, and more of the narcissistic types.
You’re In A High Narcissist Environment
Narcissists are drawn to certain careers, hobbies, and interests. So if you happen to be involved in one, then you may see more than your fair share of narcissists.
For instance, some narcissists are drawn to the armed forces, due to it’s hierarchical nature. And its status and power. So you may meet lots of narcissists if you work in the military.
Narcissists are also drawn to acting, music, and politics. Where they can take the limelight, and gain kudos. So if you’re involved in these things, then you may come across more narcissists than most.
There Are More Narcissists Than Most People Realise
Less than 1% of the population are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Which on the surface suggests it’s rare. But this doesn’t paint the full picture.
Most narcissists go undiagnosed. Which isn’t surprising, as there’s very little public knowledge of this disorder. So people can’t seek a diagnosis for something they know nothing about.
On top of this, narcissists don’t want to admit there’s anything “wrong” with them. Because of their delusions of superiority. So even if they suspect they have NPD, they’re unlikely to seek diagnosis, because they don’t want to hear the truth.
One study revealed that 6.2% of the population qualified for NPD. Which accounts for 1 in 15 people. Once you look at it like that, it’s not so rare.
If you work in a company of 45 people, then statistically there would be 3 diagnosable narcissists. And these people are likely to create the most drama, and make their presence felt.
On top of this, some people have significant narcissistic traits, without qualifying for the full disorder. So there may be even more people who are narcissistic, but don’t have NPD.
You’re Educated In Narcissism
Once you learn about narcissism and its red flags, you’re more skilled at spotting narcissists. Whilst other people are oblivious to the mind games and manipulations going on around them, you’re not.
So the poor victim that everybody feels sorry for, is not a victim in your educated eyes. The local shopkeeper who has a strange vibe isn’t just “eccentric”.
The more you learn about narcissists, the more you spot them. Which can make the world seem full of narcissists. But this is better than the alternative. Which is being blissfully unaware, and a sitting duck, waiting to be targeted.
Final Thoughts
It can be depressing to think that the world is full of narcissists. But this isn’t the case.
Although there are a lot of narcissists out there, they’re still the minority. Which means the majority of people do have healthy levels of empathy. Even though it may not always seem like it!
Learning about narcissism is a double edged sword. Once you know, you see it everywhere. But on the flip side, you’re aware and ready. Which personally I prefer.
With your knowledge, you can make better choices of friends and relationships. Sniff out toxic environments. And quickly know who you can trust, and who you can’t.
Please CLICK HERE For How To Keep Narcissists Out Your Life
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It makes me think that there must be a lot of narcissists, since they come on a spectrum AND different flavors (Grandiose, Vulnerable, Malignant, etcetera, etcetera…”
And the spectrum. If someone met someone who is at the other end of the spectrum; less narcissistic, they might think that this person is just annoying, probably a jerk, but not a narcissist.
I laughed at Doctor Evil’s speech to his son, Scott Evil from, “The Spy Who Shagged Me” in the movie when he criticized his son, Scott Evil.
He says, “You’re semi-evil. You’re quasi-evil. You’re the margarine of evil. You’re the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.”
But what if that Semi-Narcissist was a parent rather just an acquaintance? The Quasi-Narcissist would have more scope to do real damage.
Yes I know what you mean, it’s all relative. This is further complicated as peoples levels of narcissism can also fluctuate throughout their lives. So some people may display narcissistic behaviours, depending on where they are mentally, and where they naturally lie on the spectrum.