I spend a lot of time writing on this blog, and discussing narcissism across social media. And quite often I get people trying to shut me down.
They say various things that lead to them to conclude that I should stop talking about narcissism. How’s that for free speech?! And many of these same “reasons” keep cropping up. So I thought I’d share them here.
If you talk regularly about narcissism online, then you’ll probably hear some of these same objections. Because I’ve heard them many times. And others I know have too.
Learning what narcissists say to shut you down helps you be ready with a response. And it clarifies your thinking. Because narcissists create doubt and confusion. Especially with their unique brand of logic!
Without further ado, here’s some of the things narcissists have said to shut me down from discussing narcissism…
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You’re Spreading Hate Towards Neuro Divergent People
I’ve been told many times that I spread hate towards “neuro divergent” narcissists. As if I’m rallying troops to topple poor “disabled” victims. But I’m not.
I educate and validate people who’ve been affected by narcissists. So I give information about typical behaviours and motivations. Because this clarifies what went on. And it shows how the narcissist manipulated things to make the victim seem at fault.
I never encourage anyone to harm narcissists. My only aim is to help their victims. Why would anyone object to this, even if they are a narcissist?
People have gone on to say that I’m ruining the lives of people suffering with NPD. But it’s not like they walk around with NPD branded on their forehead. So if they treat others well, then no one knows they’re a narcissist.
Also I’ve never heard of people making random attacks on narcissists, for being narcissists. And I’ve never heard of mine or anyone else’s content cause such problems. So it seems that the only hatred is the hatred of their tactics being exposed.
You’re Obsessed / I’m Worried About You
Many times I’ve been accused of being obsessed with narcissism. And I’ve even had people tell me they’re worried about me, because of my posts. Like they care about a random stranger online!
Yes, I write a blog about narcissism. So of course I’m going to discuss it regularly. But that’s no indication of an unhealthy obsession. And even if it was, why would they care? Could it be that they only care to stop me revealing narcissists tricks?!
Why Don’t You Write Content That Helps Narcissists?
Several people have reached out, asking why I don’t write content that helps narcissists. But the problem is that I don’t suffer with NPD. So what experience can I offer?
When these people approach me, I sometimes suggest that they set up a blog to help narcissists. And I’ve even offered to send them traffic when someone with NPD reaches out to me. But no one takes me up on this.
Surely if someone wants content out there to help people with NPD, they’d do it themselves? Not pressure a stranger online to do it for them.
I’ve no objection to people helping narcissists. In fact I’m all for it. But it doesn’t mean it’s my role to do so. I’ve got my hands full enough helping narcissists victims!
Everybody’s A Narcissist These days
I get this comment quite regularly – “everybody’s a narcissist these days”. But nowhere do I suggest everyone’s a narcissist!
These people imply that I’m jumping on the bandwagon. And saying everyone’s a narcissist who does something I don’t like. But I never accuse anyone of being a narcissist.
I talk about narcissists traits, behaviours, and motivations. And how best to deal with them. On what planet is that accusing everyone of being a narcissist?!
Narcissism Is Rare
Some people say that I’ve probably never met a narcissist, since it’s so rare. So I must be making things up. But I can refute this on two counts.
First, I worked in the mental health field for 14 years. And worked with many diagnosed narcissists. So I’ve got plenty of professional experience.
Also, narcissism isn’t as rare as many people think. It’s true that less than 1% of the population are diagnosed. But that’s nowhere near the full picture.
Narcissists are notorious for not seeking help. Because they believe they’re superior, and perfect as they are. A diagnosis shows there’s something “wrong” with them. Which goes against their delusions of superiority. So they don’t want to put themselves in this position.
Also, many people have no idea what NPD is. Or even that it exists. And that includes people who suffer with it. So a fair chunk of people don’t seek diagnosis, because they know nothing about it.
A study a few years back showed that around 6.2% of people qualify as having full NPD. That’s one in fifteen people. Which isn’t that rare.
On top of this, narcissists seek out company far more than average. They’re the people that constantly seek new friends and lovers. Because they don’t like to be alone, and they often ruin their relationships. Which increases the likelihood of contact with them.
Final Thoughts
If you want to talk about narcissism, then don’t let anyone stop you. You’re entitled to express your thoughts, experiences, and opinions, as long as they don’t harm others. People disagreeing or feeling uncomfortable, doesn’t give them the right to shut you down.
Raising awareness about narcissism helps on two counts. First it helps victims understand what happened. Helping them heal from the damage caused. Plus it indirectly helps narcissists.
Narcissists often avoid therapy because there’s no reason to seek it. Their narcissism helps them get what they want. So why should they change?
With more awareness about narcissism, more people become wiser to their manipulations. Making them less effective.
Once the narcissist realises their narcissism no longer serves them, then they may be more motivated to change, and seek therapy. Because it no longer serves their life.
However, it’s easier to keep people blind, and continue their narcissism. Than bring it out into the open, and make the effort to change. Which may be why some narcissists try to stop people talking.
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