We all know that if we have a troublesome narcissist in our life, it’s best to go no contact. And completely remove them from our lives.

Stress is reduced, whilst peace of mind is increased. And life seems simpler, more enjoyable, and more meaningful. However, some narcissists don’t give up easily.

If you provide a good source of supply for the narcissist, then they might not let you go without a fight. They may try numerous tactics to ingrain themselves back into your life. And guilt is one of their tactics.

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It’s never easy cutting someone out from your life. And if you have functioning emotional empathy, it’s easy to feel guilty about it. No matter how destructive they were to you.

Narcissists are quick to sense guilt. And anticipate you feeling this way anyway. Because they’re aware of your higher levels of empathy. So they play on it. Hoping your guilt leads to making an emotional, rather than logical decision. And the illogical decision is to let them back into your life.

They might exaggerate or make up health scares or other problems. Pass messages through people, telling of their woes. And paint a picture of you turning your back on them. As if you’re the sole cause of all their troubles.

If you feel guilty, there’s a chance you might crack. And allow them back into your life. Even though it’s to your detriment. And we don’t want that! So this article aims to help you stop feeling guilty for no contacting narcissists…

Narcissists Aren’t Your Responsibility

If you’ve been close to a narcissist, then you probably felt responsible for them. Because narcissists manoeuvre relationships to where you take responsibility for their well-being. And you’re more of a carer, than a friend or lover.

Narcissists create this dynamic, so people do things for them. And also for insurance. Because empathetic people feel bad removing them from their life. Because they’re emotionally invested. As deep down they know how fragile the narcissist is. And how they struggle to cope, when left to their own devices.

However, the narcissist isn’t your responsibility. Your primary responsibility is yourself. And if the narcissist is detrimental to your life, then you owe it to yourself to stay no contact. If the roles were reversed, they would drop you like a ton of bricks.

It’s unfair to expect you to be responsible for another grown adult. They’re capable of looking after themselves, if they really wanted to. And they wouldn’t do the same for you.

On top of this, I’m sure you wouldn’t expect anyone to be responsible for you. Especially if you caused them problems, that could be avoided.

Narcissists Don’t Care About You As An Individual

The sad fact is that narcissists don’t care about anyone but themselves. They might like what you do for them. And enjoy your company. But as an individual, you’re nothing special.

Narcissist relationships are transactional. And based on what people do for them. So if you cease being useful, you won’t see them for dust.

To the narcissist, you’re a body that provides them with company. And a commodity to exploit for their gain. Your character and uniqueness is of no interest to them. Or your history, and things you’ve done for them. Which is why they can move on so quickly, once they find “better” options.

Going no contact with a narcissist isn’t the same as no contact with a neuro-typical. Because neuro-typicals experience a deeper level off attachment.

Narcissists may be miffed, because of the things they lose from not knowing you. But they don’t actually miss you. And as soon as they’ve found a suitable replacement, you’re quickly forgotten.

The narcissist has probably experienced no contact many times before. As their relationships are generally short lived, due to their difficult natures. So no contact is an inevitable part of many narcissists lives.

So don’t fret over how the narcissist may take it. To them, people are essentially the same. As long as they give them what they want. And although they may tell you differently, no one is special – except them.

No Contact Opens Doors

A massively overlooked problem with narcissists is they often stop you attracting good people into your life. And this may be deliberate, or a consequence of what they’re like.

Narcissist take up so much time and energy, you don’t have chance to spend time with others. As they literally consume your world. And prevent you making friends with good people. They may also stop you pursuing goals. And spending time on hobbies and interests.

If this is the case, it’s grossly unfair on you. And you have every right to terminate friendships or relationships that harm you. And stop you from getting on in life.

Once a narcissist is out your life, you have more time and energy to do things for yourself. And meet people who genuinely have your best interests at heart. Improving the quality of your life. I’ve lived with narcissists in and out my life. And I can attest that life is MUCH better without them.

Final Thoughts

You have every right to remove someone from your life. It’s YOUR life. And nobody has an automatic right to it. Although narcissists often hold the attitude that they do.

If a narcissist makes your life worse, then you owe it to yourself to remove them. Because narcissists usually benefit, at your cost. So in essence, they take from you.

No contact is an act of self care, not selfishness. Although the narcissist is likely to label it the latter. But that’s only because they gain from knowing you. And in their mind, you not serving them is “selfish”.

This is why they’re often keen to rekindle “relationships”. To the narcissist, you’re a resource waiting to be exploited. And they know you don’t see things the same way. Which gives them all the advantages. Because they take, whilst you give.

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