Whilst it isn’t always the case, narcissists often display signs of paranoia. They may think their partners are unfaithful. Their friends are laughing at them behind their backs. And even the Government or special agencies are spying on them.

Narcissists are complicated creatures. And there’s many reasons why they can get so paranoid. Here’s my thoughts on narcissists and paranoia…

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Grandiosity

As I’m sure you know, narcissists harbour delusions of grandiosity. And consider themselves more important than they really are. But their grandiosity can be the root cause of many paranoias.

The narcissist may think that all eyes are on them when they enter a room. Believing that everyone focusses on them, as much as they focus on themselves.

And if they’re particularly grandiose, they may believe they’re important enough to attract the attention of the police, Governments, and other important institutions. And grow more paranoid that certain agencies follow them and listen to their conversations.

Without this grandiosity, it’s easy to dismiss these thoughts. Because why would the Government be interested in an average Joe going about their life? But if you feel you’re the most important person in the World, then things can get scary.

Create Enemies

Narcissists are sometimes paranoid for good reason. Their narcissistic ways often create enemies. And people really are talking behind their back. And plotting against them.

Some narcissists are thin skinned when it comes to others hostility. Because they so badly want to be liked and admired.

So they zoom-in on the merest whiff of animosity. And blow it all out of proportion. Causing them distress and paranoia.

If they’ve created enemies throughout their lives, then a familiar pattern is established. And they learn that people are likely to become hostile in the future.

And because they don’t accept responsibility, they fail to see that the hostility is their own fault. And convince themselves that the world is out to get them.

Hidden Real Self

Narcissists lead dual lives. And present a false façade that imitates a normal functioning person. But underneath they’re narcissistic, and only look out for number one.

Narcissists don’t want people knowing what’s hidden beneath their layers. Because they know that nobody would entertain them. And they’d be left friendless and alone.

So they hide it best they can. But live in constant fear that people will discover the demons that lurk within.

Narcissistic Families

Narcissism often runs in families. So many narcissists were raised by narcissists. With narcissist parents, siblings, and other relatives.

In this case, it’s likely the narcissist was unable to trust their own family. And grew up learning not to trust anyone. Because if you can’t trust your own family, who can you trust?

This lack of trust leads to paranoia. Because they’re always doubting everyone’s motives. No matter who they are, and what they do.

Kindness and Vulnerability

Some narcissists feel paranoid when someone shows them kindness. Kindness makes them feel vulnerable. Here’s why…

Kindness is good. And we all want kindness in our lives. But a narcissist feels vulnerable because this kindness is controlled by someone else. And because it’s controlled by someone else, it can be taken away.

This means the person showing them kindness has a hold over them. And this challenges their omnipotence. Because narcissists like to think they don’t need anybody.

If they’ve lived in toxic environments, then manipulators may have lured them in with kindness. Then screwed them over once they’ve dropped their guard. So naturally they’re suspicious of kindness. Because they know what usually follows.

People Think The Same

It’s natural to assume that people think the same as ourselves. So if you’re exploitative and manipulative, then it’s easy to assume that everyone else is too.

This of course creates paranoia for narcissists. Because they believe everyone is out to exploit them. And are hiding their true intentions beneath a false façade.

Lack Of Social Skills And Emotional Empathy

Some narcissists lack social skills, and most lack emotional empathy. This means they may upset people, even when they don’t want to. Because they can’t put themselves into others’ shoes.

Narcissists usually want certain people to like them. Often people that are useful, or high in status. This might be a new partner, their boss, or certain friends.

Narcissists worry that they might upset and lose these people. Because historically this is what happens.

This paranoia may cause them to be extra nice. They may present lavish gifts. And be almost too nice, erring on the side of caution. But the slap in the face comes when manipulators sense their eagerness to please, and exploit them. Which further increases their paranoia.

Narcissistic Supply

Because narcissists operate under a false ideal self, they need almost constant external validation. This is known as “narcissistic supply”. This is where they desperately need attention and adoration, or they don’t feel complete. This is why many narcissists don’t like to spend too much time alone.

And because they so badly need external validation, they worry like mad that they might not get it. And this adds to the paranoia that people might shun them, and leave them all alone.

Conspiracy Theories

Narcissists are often taken in by conspiracy theories. Their black and white thinking ensures they’re “all in” when they hear a convincing tale.

Narcissists won’t stay in the grey area, where they consider there might be some truth mixed with exaggeration and lies. And they rarely seek out the other side of the story. Because this causes uncertainty, which they find unsettling.

Once convinced about a conspiracy, narcissists usually won’t budge. Because they don’t like to admit they’ve been fooled. And they won’t admit they’re wrong.

So they stick doggedly to their beliefs, often based on flimsy evidence. Sliding deeper down the rabbit hole. Convincing themselves that weird and wonderful things are happening in the world around them.

When you search online, it’s easy to find something that fits the narrative of your beliefs. Because there’s no much to choose from. And this drags them even deeper down the rabbit hole.

In their mind, these conspiracy theories are 100% fact. And believing the wilder conspiracy theories so staunchly, is bound to stir up paranoia.

Behavioural – They Want To Be Paranoid

There are situations where narcissists WANT to be paranoid. Because their paranoia helps them achieve some other aim.

A classic example is when they want to control their partners. They may for example convince themselves that their partner is having an affair. Despite zero evidence. And demand that they don’t go out without them. Just because they want them all for themselves.

Narcissists often convince themselves of their alternative “truths” before challenging others. Because if they can convince themselves, then it’s easier to act more authentically. Which is one reason why narcissists are such skilled liars.

But because they’re so good at convincing themselves, they may deeply believe their own fabrications. And become victims of their own self-perpetuating paranoias. Kidding themselves whilst trying to kid others.

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