Some people, me included, have a life time of narcissists. Friends, romantic relationships, family, work colleagues, you name it. And when one narcissist leaves your life, a new one takes their place.

It’s no coincidence that some people attract narcissists. Whereas others never deal with them.

If you keep attracting narcissists, then there’s probably reasons why. And once you learn what they are, you can make the changes.

In this article, I’ll discuss several tactics to keep narcissists out your life. But first, let’s start with what narcissists want. Because if you provide it, then you’re a prime target…

Please Check out The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

What Narcissists Want

First, here’s what narcissists DON’T want – mutually beneficial equal relationships. Keep this in mind. Now here’s what they DO want…

Narcissists want narcissistic supply. This includes attention, adoration, validation, and favours – to make them feel special. And they mostly look to their close relationships to provide it.

Narcissists have a pathological need for narcissistic supply. So much so, that sourcing it is their life’s mission. And it trumps almost every other need.

Narcissism is a shame based disorder. And they feel so much shame, that they disassociate from themselves. And live through a fake outer mask. Who’s as powerfully brilliant as they wished they were.

This false self needs almost constant reassurance. Because deep down they know it’s an act. So they recruit people to help prop up their shaky self esteem. And help delude themselves into believing they’re great.

Without attention and validation, most narcissists crumble. Because they need people to distract them from their frailties. And to show them how superior they are.

Narcissists need to be put on a pedestal. And treat like royalty. So if you give lots of attention and special treatment, you’re a narcissists dream.

So don’t be too attentive with people. And don’t put them on a pedestal. Because narcissists see this, and come flocking. Yes you can be nice. But don’t be too nice.

Don’t Be Too Available For Narcissists

Most narcissists struggle spending more than an hour alone. So when they have a window in their schedule, they need to fill it. Quickly.

Narcissists LOVE relationships where the other person drops everything at a moments notice to spend time with them. Because this gives them the security of knowing they don’t need to spend a minute alone. It also makes them feel special. So if you’re the type to drop everything when someone calls, then you’re probably a narcissist magnet.

Narcissists spend their lives flitting from person to person. Until they find the traits that give them what they want. Always being available is a much sought after quality.

So if you want to reduce the narcissists in your life, don’t be this person. Don’t always answer your phone or door, just because someone wants you. And don’t automatically drop everything, just because someone wants to spend time with you. Do things on your terms. Not solely theirs. And make people wait if you’re busy.

Once a narcissist realises you’re not always available, they’ll probably find someone who is. And you’ll be left alone.

Avoid Social Media

Social media is a narcissists hunting ground. Where they find new supply. Or re establish old ones.

In the history of mankind, there’s never been more opportunities to find supply. All from the comfort of your home.

Narcissists from your past can check what you’re up to. See if you’re single. Evaluate how vulnerable you are. And see if you have anything they need.

New narcissists can do the same. And learn your strengths and weaknesses. Your likes and dislikes. And use this information against you.

Narcissists are all about saving energy. And finding easy prey. And social media is great for helping them with this. Because they can check out hundreds of profiles in minutes. Without moving an inch.

A limited social presence keeps narcissists guessing. As it puts less personal info into the public domain. Making them work harder, with less ammo to use against you.

Energy saving narcissists are more likely to overlook you if you have a sparse social presence. And instead focus on easier prey, who share their life online.

Limiting social media allows you to ignore toxic people more easily. Because you’re less available, so more likely to miss their messages. And they’ll quickly give up on you.

On a busy social media account , a non-response is still a response. Because it’s obvious you’re ignoring them. Which may provoke some narcissists. But a non response from a sparse profile is like talking to a brick wall. And they soon give up.

Talk About Yourself!

Most narcissists need to be centre of attention, at all times. So they manufacture situations to make it happen.

They may create “problems”, so they can talk at length about themselves. Never ask questions about you. And dominate conversations, so you don’t get a word in edgeways.

Narcissists HATE it when people talk about themselves, and things they’re interested in. That’s their job. And even if they’ve done 90% of the talking, they’re still not happy.

So make sure you include yourself in conversations. And things you’re interested in. Because if you allow people to constantly talk about themselves, you’re likely to attract narcissists. Because they love nothing more than talking AT someone – whilst they passively listen.

Learn To Do Things On Your Own

We sometimes succumb to toxic people because of loneliness. And allow them into our lives when there’s not much going on. But it doesn’t have to be like this.

Loneliness is often actually boredom. And boredom is usually exacerbated by an inability to do things on our own. If you sit inside 4 walls, day in and day out, you’re bound to feel out of sorts.

So get in to the habit of doing things on your own. Go to the gym. Visit a café. Go walking. Whatever you like doing, do it. Whilst it might feel awkward at first, you quickly get used to it. And there’s many benefits to doing things on your own.

When you’re alone, YOU decide where you’re going. How long you stay. And what you do. No one dictates to you. So the time is entirely yours.

Doing things on your own is super empowering. Because you don’t NEED anybody. Allowing you to be more careful with who you let into your life.

Narcissists sense this independence. And are more likely give you a wide berth. Because they know you’re harder to control than most people.

Final Thoughts

Choose your friends wisely. And don’t let anyone bulldoze their way into your life. Remember, it’s your life. And you’re entitled to choose who’s in it.

Keep your boundaries high. Don’t be too available. And don’t be too eager to please. This scares most narcissists away. Because narcissists usually want an easy ride.

You don’t have to be mean to keep narcissists out your life. But you mustn’t be a pushover either. Because narcissists smell an eagerness to please from a thousand paces.

Good people don’t want a pushover. They want mutually beneficial equal relationships. So don’t worry about people not liking you for having boundaries. The right people will.

Over time this changes filters out the bad, and leaves the good. Increasing the empathetic people in your life. Which is what you deserve. You’ve got this.

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