Many narcissists get away with abusive behaviours for years. And enjoy their partners silence.

People who haven’t been in a relationship with a narcissist usually struggle to understand why their partners stay silent. And why they endured such abuse. But there’s many reasons for this.

Narcissists use sly tactics to keep their partners quiet. Allowing them to continue their abuse largely unchallenged.

Learning their tactics helps you see what they’re up to. And confirms what you probably know deep down inside. Giving you the confidence to speak out, and march out of their lives if necessary. It may also help you spot the signs in the lives of people you know.

Here’s how narcissists silence their partners…

Please Check Out This Following Video To Aid Your Understanding…

Intimidation

The more malignant narcissists use intimidation and threats to silence their partners. They may threaten them directly. But usually they’re more indirect.

The narcissist may say things like, “God help you if you tell anyone”. Which isn’t a literal threat. But it’s pretty obvious what they’re getting at.

Narcissists use indirect threats because then no one has anything on them. And they can muddy the waters with denials and claims of misunderstandings if they’re challenged. And their forgiving partners often give them the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent.

Loyalty

Narcissists often talk about loyalty between partners. And how relationship issues should stay between the two of you. And it’s difficult to argue with this under normal conditions.

Yes, it’s not healthy to go running to friends and family over every little issue. But the problems in narcissist relationships aren’t “relationship issues”. They’re abuse and manipulation.

Narcissists dress up their abuse as normal relationship issues. And it can be difficult to tell the difference when you’re in the thick of things. Because narcissists are chaotic, unpredictable, and confusing.

So loyal partners often err on the side of caution, and keep their mouths closed. Because loyalty is important. And besides which, they’re confused as to what’s going on.

Normalisation

Narcissists have a way of normalising abuse. Which is difficult to explain to people who’ve never been in a relationship with one.

Narcissists gradually increase the intensity and frequency of their abuse during the relationship. So there’s no sudden moment where things turn sour.

It reminds me of the saying – “Throw a frog in boiling water and it leaps to safety. But put it in warm water and turn up the heat, and it dies”. Like the doomed frog thinking it’s taking a relaxing bath, narcissists incrementally dial up their abuse so that it’s barely recognisable.

Narcissists also play down their abusive behaviours. And act like they’re no big deal. And this is surprisingly effective. Because it confuses their partners, and leaves doubt in their minds. And because they’re not 100% sure what’s going on, they don’t want to rock the boat with unwarranted accusations.

Please Check Out The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

Blame Shifting

Narcissists are experts at blame shifting. And may blame their partners for the abuse they dish out.

They may claim their partners drove them to it. Or they were reacting to their deficiencies.

Narcissists also like to provoke their partners. And when they snap, blame them for their reaction. This creates the impression that fights are 50/50. When they’re really created by the narcissist.

This blame shifting leaves doubt in the minds of their conscientious partners. Because they believe there must be at least a grain of truth in their counter accusations. So they stay quiet, because they don’t want to ruffle any feathers unnecessarily.

Hot And Cold

Narcissists also silence their partners by blowing hot and cold. They understand that they can’t be abusive all the time. Because it would be obvious what they’re up to. And their partners might talk. So they sprinkle some nice times in to sweeten the abuse. Rather like pouring sugar onto sh*t!

This leaves their partners confused. And unaware they’re in an abusive relationship, because they cling on to the odd nice time.

It’s easy to assume that abusers are abusive all the time. Because this is how they’re normally depicted. But this is rarely the case. Because there’s good and bad in all of us. And part of an abusers armoury is knowing when to turn it up, and when to dial it down.

Narcissists are sly. And if they sense they’ve upset their partners too much, then they may be nice for a while. Not because they care, or because they feel bad. But because they sense their partner might talk and expose them.

Isolation

Another common narcissist trick is to isolate their partners. Because they can’t spill the beans if there’s no one to spill them to.

A narcissist might persuade their partner to move to a new area, where they don’t know anyone. Or give up their job, so they don’t have any work colleagues to confide in.

They may also cause trouble with their partners friends and family. Causing rifts, particularly with the ones they consider most troublesome. And eliminate them from their partners life. And with no one to turn to, they have little choice but to keep quiet.

Gaslighting

Narcissists gaslight their partners into silence in many different ways. They may for example convince them that they’re a moaner. And goad them with phrases such as “Here we go again”, when they complain about their mistreatment.

Narcissists may also tell their partners they imagined it, or that they’re crazy. And when these messages are regularly repeated, it’s easy to get sucked in. Especially when it’s combined with the other tactics, such as isolation. Because there’s no one around for a reality check.

The doubt that gaslighting creates is often enough to make their partners retreat into silence. Because they’re too conscientious to risk blaming “the love of their life” when it’s unwarranted.

Final Thoughts

These are just some of the ways narcissists silence their partners from speaking out. And there’s many other factors at play.

For instance, they often choose partners who avoid conflict, and don’t like to make a fuss. Because these personalities are more likely to remain silent. They also tell a lot of lies and half truths. Plus they have many other subtle tactics, which keep their partners down, and keep them from talking.

Be kind to yourself if you’ve remained silent in the face of narcissistic abuse. Because it’s not easy when you’re in the thick of it. And narcissists are highly influential when you’re around them all the time.

Often it’s only after the relationship ends that you realise the full extent of the abuse. And you may wonder why you put up with it. And how you didn’t realise what was going on. But don’t beat yourself up, because you’re not the first. And sadly you won’t be the last.

Don’t be afraid to tell you story. Even if it’s long after the event. Because not only does it help you understand and move on. It also helps others learn from your experiences.

Please CLICK HERE For How Narcissists Stop You Resolving Relationship Problems

Or Scroll Down For My Most Popular Posts (Mobile)…

How Narcissists Stop You Resolving Relationship Problems