Narcissists believe they’re the custodians of right and wrong. And have the right to punish as they see fit.
Narcissists can be triggered by seemingly trivial things. So you might not know why they’re punishing you. Or even that they’re punishing you at all.
Narcissists have many punishment methods. Yet they don’t always reveal why they’re treating you this way. So you may not know what’s going on. Because in your mind you haven’t done anything wrong, and there’s no discussion. Just toxic behaviours.
This may leave you scratching your head, wondering what’s going on. Why is the narcissist acting so strange? Once you learn how narcissists punish, it reveals what’s going on, and why they’re suddenly behaving so differently.
Here’s a run down of narcissists most common forms of punishment…
Please Watch This Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
Damage Your Reputation
To punish someone, a narcissist may smear them. With the aim of damaging their reputation. And this even applies to their current partner.
The narcissist may reveal private things said. Or lie and exaggerate, to make things said or done seem worse. And broadcast this to anyone who’ll listen.
Narcissists lack whole object constancy. So when they feel wronged, they see the person as “all bad”. Rather than see it in the perspective that although they’ve been wronged, they still care for them.
So someone can go from being the “love of their life”, to their mortal enemy, at the flick of a switch. Just because something offended them. Then they may switch back to “loving” them, if they do something good.
This is naturally confusing for the narcissists’ friends and family. Because one minute the narcissist is encouraging them to hate someone. Then next they expect everyone to welcome them with open arms.
Withhold Cash
If the narcissist is in charge of the purse strings, then they may withhold cash to punish. Particularly if you’re financially dependant on them.
Narcissists often persuade their partners to give up work. Selling it as wanting to support them. But that’s not why they do it.
Really they want their partners to stop working so they have more control over them. And another means of punishment. Because the narcissist knows that stopping money can have a devastating effect, when you’re reliant on someone.
Disappear
To punish a partner, the narcissist may disappear for hours, even days at a time. With no explanation of where they’re going. What they’re doing. Or when they’ll return.
The narcissist knows this sends your imagination into overdrive. As you don’t know where they are, or what they’re up to. Yet at the same time they can party, cheat, or do what they want. So their disappearance hurts you, whilst it rewards them.
The Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is perhaps a crueller form of punishment than it sounds. Because you often don’t know what you did “wrong”. So you can’t come to a resolution, because they’re not speaking.
Narcissists’ partners are often completely in the dark about why they’re being punished. From their perspective, the narcissist suddenly decides to blank them, for no reason. Or gives them one word answers. And this can last days, even weeks.
Narcissists often use the silent treatment in retaliation to boundaries being placed on them. Because although they feel aggrieved, deep down they know they’re being unreasonable. And a rational discussion would reveal this. But the silent treatment won’t.
So the narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish their partners into compliance. Without needing to openly discuss the unfair things they demand.
Snide Comments
Narcissists may drop subtle hints about how you wronged them. But often in a cryptic and difficult to understand way.
The narcissist reasons that you should know what’s wrong. Because you should be focussed on them at all times. So if you don’t know, then you mustn’t care. Which gives them the right to abuse you more.
This vagueness works in a similar way to the silent treatment. Because it allows them to establish unfair rules, without them being scrutinised through rational discussion.
Create An Atmosphere
Narcissists may create an atmosphere you could cut with a knife. And punish EVERYONE for your “transgression”.
They may display an blatant foul mood for hours, even days. Hoping to punish you extra, by punishing others. In their mind it’s your fault that they’re taking it out on everyone else. So they should all blame you.
Anger
If you have an anxious disposition, then the narcissist may turn to anger to punish you. Because they know how much it affects you.
The narcissist may shout, throw things, and even become physically violent. Although their usual tactic is to make people fear violence, rather than actually use it.
Narcissists know that you avoid confrontation. Whereas they enjoy the fight. So to them, anger is an easy punishment to dish out. Because they don’t get affected by it. But they know you do.
Ridicule
Another tactic narcissists use to punish is ridicule. Particularly if they know you’re sensitive to this.
Narcissist often ridicule in front of an audience, for maximum effect. Because they know it’s more humiliating, the more witnesses there are.
They may blurt out anecdotes from the past, where you made a fool of yourself. Or make fun of something they know you’re sensitive about.
Narcissists often ridicule when they don’t get their way. To condition you to yield to their demands. Because after a few bad experiences, you learn to anticipate the humiliating consequences of not doing as you’re told.
Withdraw Love And Affection
Narcissists sometimes withdraw love and affection if they want to punish. Usually with no explanation.
So you may experience periods where the narcissist is cold, and shuns any attempt of affection. Yet you have no idea why.
Some narcissists shy away from intimacy with their primary partners. Because they don’t want to fall for them, and be vulnerable. So they may use a minor transgression as an excuse to withhold love and affection.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists may use one or more of these tactics to punish. Yet may not discuss what’s bothering them. Or even that they’re punishing at all.
Narcissists feel hurt by things most of us take for granted. For example, they may feel insulted that you passed a drink to your friend, before passing one to them.
Deep down the narcissist probably knows they’re unreasonable. Which is why they don’t discuss their concerns.
Instead they hurt you with punishments, and leave you to figure it out. And if you don’t, they may punish you further. Because you’re supposed to read their mind. And follow their one-sided unspoken rules. Because ultimately, everything is about them.
Please CLICK HERE For What Makes A Narcissist Jealous
Or Scroll Down For My Most Popular Articles…
