Narcissists often stop their significant others from living their own life, and pursuing their dreams. This is because narcissists consider themselves the centre of the universe. And like to direct their significant others attention exclusively to them.

Narcissists see their significant others as extensions of themselves. Existing to cater for their needs. Narcissists don’t consider other peoples’ wants, desires, and dreams. Only their own.

When you pursue things for yourself, narcissists don’t like it. They feel jealous, ignored, and left out. So sadly they sometimes resort to sabotaging your efforts.

Here’s a few ways narcissists stop their significant others living their own lives, and pursuing their dreams…

Please Check Out This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

Narcissists Fill Your Time

Narcissists like to fill their significant others time. Heaven forbid they have time to spend on themselves.

Narcissists like to give their significant others responsibilities, such as children and housework to keep them busy.

Some narcissists message and phone numerous times per day. And if there’s no immediate response, they kick up a fuss. This is designed to make your whole day revolve around them. Even when you’re not together.

Narcissists know, the more they fill your time, the less you have to spend on yourself. And the more you’re available for them.

Guilt Tripping

If you start doing positive things for yourself, the narcissist may guilt trip. They may complain how you don’t have time for them, or your children. How much money you’re spending. How the garden has been neglected, etc.

Narcissists usually pick more conscientious people to have in their lives. And these are the ones that are more susceptible to guilt tripping.

Often a good guilt trip session or two is enough to stop their partners pursuing their dreams. But if it’s not, they have plenty more tricks up their sleeves…

Play The Victim

Narcissists sometimes play the victim to stop you doing things for yourself. They may decide they’re ill, depressed, or some other ailment.

Or they may need your help with something that’s REALLY important. But is actually quite trivial!

That means you must cancel your evening classes or gym session and attend to them. And because you’ve no reason to believe they’re making it up, it’s easy to fall prey.

Accuse You of Having An Affair

The narcissist may go full throttle and accuse you of having an affair. You may for example start going to the gym. Not a problem, right? It IS for the narcissist. You should be focussing on them. So they conclude that you MUST be having a fling with the personal trainer. Why else would you go?!

They know you’ll feel bad, and want to prove that nothing’s going on. You don’t want to hurt their feelings. So you quit for their sake. Who wants a gym visit to ruin their relationship?

But the thing is, they didn’t really think you were having an affair. They WANTED you to feel bad. Then you’d stop this madness of spending time on yourself. And concentrate on why you were put on this earth – to focus on the narcissist.

Ridicule

Some narcissists ridicule what you’re doing to stop you doing it. They may laugh at your early attempts at painting portraits. Rather than offer support. Or tell you how ridiculous you look in your gym gear. If they know you’re sensitive to this, then they’ll do it.

Narcissists have “impaired empathy”. So they don’t feel bad for ridiculing and hurting your feelings. And they don’t feel bad for crushing your dreams. They’re only concerned with their needs. And are happy you’re “back on track”, catering for them.

Narcissists Wear You Out

Living with a narcissist is draining. They’re needy, demanding, and time consuming. They play games designed to control, manipulate, and infuriate.

Dealing with these things often leaves you with little energy to pursue your wants and dreams. When you’re exhausted, who wants to spend 3 hours at night school?

Some narcissists go as far as deliberately wearing out their loved ones. And may play tricks such as causing arguments when you need to sleep. Or wake you up early when they know you’re tired. They know that the less energy you have available, the less you can do for yourself.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists hate when their “nearest and dearest” spend time on themselves, when they should be spending it on them. It leaves them feeling insecure, jealous, and left out. So they develop numerous tactics to stop you in your tracks.

Narcissists are self absorbed people. And only see things from their point of view. They struggle to understand why you’d waste your time with your own wants and needs, when you could be catering for theirs.

Narcissists may also feel threatened when you’re pursuing self improvement. What if you outgrow them, and leave?

Narcissists lack empathy. So they don’t feel bad for killing your dreams. Intellectually they might know it’s wrong. But they don’t feel it emotionally.

These traits give them a powerful compulsion to stop you pursuing your dreams. But if you let them do this, you’ll have no life of your own.

If you’re close to a narcissist, then you should regularly explain why you need to do things for yourself. They might not understand it on an emotional level. But they will on an intellectual one.

It’s usually best to frame it in a way that benefits them. “If I go to the gym, you’ll have a better looking partner.” Or, “If I go and visit my friends, I’ll come back in a better mood for you.”

You have to fight for your own time with a narcissist. Because they usually want ALL of it. You can’t rely on them to understand your needs. It usually needs spelling out, time and time again.

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