Lots of literature on narcissists focuses on male narcissists. But in my life I’ve known several females narcissists. And I married one!

I’ve noticed many similarities between female narcissists. And some are a little different to male narcissists.

Here’s a run down of some common traits I’ve noticed in female narcissists. See if you’ve spotted any of these…

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Female Narcissists Harem Of Male Admirers

Most female narcissists have many male friends. Their male friends are usually kind, quiet, easy going people.

The female narcissist subtly flirts with them, but rarely does anything sexual with them. Instead she prefers to lead them on.

The female narcissist knows their male friends fancy her, but acts oblivious to this. She pretends she innocently wants their friendship. And whilst she looks for clues that they want her, she acts oblivious to the signals.

She knows they’ll crawl over broken glass for her attentions. And she uses this to her advantage.

She plays the damsel in distress to gain favours from them. And knows they’ll come running. She also uses them to triangulate, to make her current boyfriend jealous.

The female narcissist often plays her harem of men against each other. She does this by showing off her latest gifts and nights out to the others. “Look what Paul bought me.”

She does this to make them jealous. And to encourage competitive giving towards her.

Female Narcissists Like Younger Men

Not all, but many female narcissists seem to like younger men.

There’s a certain ego boost that comes with being admired by younger men. Plus younger men are more controllable than older, more experienced men.

The female narcissist often goads younger men with phrases such as “man up”. This is designed to make them feel worthless, and not deserving of her fabulous self.

Plus it encourages them do what they’re told. “A real man would come right now and change my tyre.” Sadly, younger men are more likely to fall for these tricks.

Plays The Victim

Female narcissists seem more likely to play the victim to get what they want. And this isn’t surprising.

Society is wired to help damsels in distress. So she knows she can squeeze out a few tears, and men come running to her aid.

Covert Narcissism

Female narcissists tend to use more covert means to get what they want. Rather than bullying and intimidation.

So they use passive aggression, seduction, and gossiping, to gain power. And may triangulate to play people against each other.

Creates Reasons To Fall Out With You

Female narcissists create reasons to fall out with you. And they can be absurd minor things they blow out of proportion. But this isn’t down to sensitivity.

It’s a deliberate ploy. They like to create a “trauma bond” where they fall out with you, getting you walking on eggshells. Not sure what will trigger them next.

When you’re walking on eggshells, this serves two purposes. First it proves how much you adore them. Then they bask in the glory of you desperately trying to please them. And second it makes you more controllable. So fearing their wrath, you do as your told.

Flit Around On A Night Out

Narcissist females seem to flit around, talking to strangers or people they barely know for most of the night. They can be disinterested in their friends, and even boyfriends they’re out with.

Female narcissists can’t resist attention from strangers. Which is usually easier for female narcissists to attain. And they’ll happily leave you stood on your own whilst pursuing these new sources of attention.

Always Ill Or Tired

I’ve noticed most female narcissists seem to almost always be ill, tired, feeling down etc. Like a damsel in distress, there’s always SOMETHING wrong with them.

Of course this is fabricated. Or at least exaggerated.

It’s a pity play that gets them out of their responsibilities. And gets you doing things for them.

Talks About Narcissism, Sociopaths, Empathy Etc.

Many female narcissists read up on things related to narcissism. And have some knowledge of the subject.

They often accuse others of being narcissists. And call themselves “empaths” to throw people off the scent.

Always In Conflict

Female narcissists seem to always have a conflict going on. And when it ends, a new one quickly follows.

Like all narcissists, they thrive on drama. But the difference is they more focus on destroying peoples reputations with gossiping and name calling. Rather than by direct bullying.

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How Female Narcissists Draw Men In