Why are narcissists so annoying?! If you’ve been close to a narcissist, then you’ve probably witnessed many of their annoying habits. And whilst we all annoy at times, narcissists take the biscuit. Which is why you’ve probably mouthed swear words behind their back more times than you can remember.
So you don’t feel alone, I’ll talk about the annoying habits of narcissists I’ve witnessed in the past. You’ll probably recognise many of these behaviours, because narcissists are surprisingly similar. Please feel free to add your observations in the comments at the end…
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Take Over A Room
Narcissists don’t walk into a room and look at how to fit in to what’s happening. They walk in and see how they can take over.
They may enter a room and immediately switch off the TV, or change the channel. Turn the heating up or down. Smoke, burp, fart, and generally pollute the atmosphere. They do whatever they want. Even if it impedes others.
Narcissists think it’s fine to walk in and take over. Because they only see things from their own perspective. But annoyingly, they’re the first to complain if anyone else does this.
Need Constant Attention
Narcissists are often needy with their loved ones. And may demand almost constant attention. Calling you for no other reason than to sit silently by their feet.
The narcissist may even follow you around the house. And this can feel particularly suffocating. Because sometimes you just want 5 minutes to yourself. But the narcissist either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care.
When you’re away from them, they might call or message numerous times. And expect an immediate answer. No matter what you’re doing, or how busy you are.
To a narcissist, you’re a commodity to be used. Like a toaster that heats their bread. And if they want your attention, then they expect it as soon as they click their fingers.
Long Monologues
Narcissists are better talkers than listeners. And they can talk in lengthy monologues that would make Shakespeare proud.
Some narcissists are happy to talk for hours about themselves and their interests. Without any feedback. Or consideration for your attention span.
Some narcissists talk so fast and for so long, that they rarely pause for breath. And if you’re polite, it may seem like an age before you get a word in edgeways. And by then your brain has melted.
Poor Listeners
What makes their incessant talking even more annoying is that narcissists make poor listeners. And they may complain that YOU talk too much. Even when they do 95% of the talking.
A narcissist can literally talk for ten minutes straight. Then scold you for “dominating the conversation” after you utter a few words.
You may notice the narcissists eyes glaze over when you speak. And give you little eye contact or verbal feedback. Making your words peter off into the echoes of the room. Because you realise, no one’s listening.
A relationship with a narcissist is a lonely place. Because your thoughts and concerns fall on deaf ears. Yet they expect you to attentively listen to the most mundane details of their day.
Leaves You Standing At A Party
The more overt narcissists LOVE parties. They’re full of people to impress, and convert into admirers. But unfortunately that leaves little time for you.
A narcissist will happily leave you on your own all night. Even if you don’t know anyone. Because they’ve got bigger fish to fry.
Narcissists don’t care if you’re having a terrible time. Because a party is their time to shine. And you’re quickly forgotten, whilst they schmooze their adoring fans.
Poking And Prodding
When things are calm, narcissists like to poke and prod. Figuratively and literally. And stir up the hornets nest.
The narcissist may say things to wind you up. Just to provoke a reaction. Or literally poke and prod you, just to annoy you.
Narcissists don’t like it when things are peaceful. They need drama to spice things up, and warm their cold blood. Plus they like attention, even if it’s for negative reasons.
Poking and prodding forces you to give them your undivided attention. Because whilst you’re complaining about their provocations, you’re focussing all your attention on them.
Walks Ahead
With some narcissists, it’s impossible to take a relaxing stroll through the countryside. Or a leisurely walk round town. Because the narcissist is off like a greyhound.
Even the simple act of walking is a competition, and an opportunity to show their domination. So some narcissists march ahead, leaving you trailing in their wake.
The narcissist controls the whole day from the front. Giving you no chance to stop and take in the scenery. Or browse in a shop. Because the narcissist is 90 paces ahead. And you can’t afford to get further behind.
Of course THEY can stop whenever they want. But you welcome it, because it gives you a chance to catch up, and catch your breath. But as soon as you find them, they’re off again.
If you complain, they don’t slow down their pace. Instead they accuse you of walking too slowly. And carry on regardless.
Silently Watching You
Another annoying habit is where the narcissist watches you. For no apparent reason.
You see their eyes follow you around as you go about your business. Knowing they’re watching, judging, and waiting for a “mistake”.
You may slightly scuff your shoe against the floor. And the narcissist jumps all over it. Laughing at you for “tripping over”.
It’s obviously unnerving when someone is so focussed on watching you. And spotting anything they can interpret as imperfection. And they know this.
Pilfers Your Stuff
Narcissists are poor at recognising boundaries. Especially if you’re close to them. And their sense of entitlement means it’s fine to help themselves to your stuff. Even when you’ve told them not to.
Narcissists struggle to see where they end and you begin. And these blurred boundaries extend to your possessions. In their mind, what’s yours is theirs. But this obviously doesn’t work the other way round.
Everything is a power game with narcissists. And they’ll be damned if you’re going to stop them pilfering your money and possessions. They’re entitled, and that’s the way it is. So no matter how much you complain, they won’t respect your stuff. In fact, if they know it gets to you, they may do it more.
Nicer To Strangers Than You
Perhaps the most annoying habit of narcissists is when they’re nicer to strangers than their own family. They may bend over backwards to help someone they barely know. But won’t lift a finger to help you.
Narcissists want to be loved and admired. So they work extra hard to win over new fans. Just like at parties. But they don’t work nearly as hard for their nearest and dearest. Because in their mind they don’t need to. They already provide attention and adoration.
So you’re left in the annoying position where they’ll do anything to help a stranger. But little to help you. And to rub salt into the wound, people tell you how wonderful they are. And how lucky you must be!
Final Thoughts
Narcissists develop many unique behaviours to get them what they want. Combine this with their lack of empathy, and it creates a monster that’s annoying enough to make a Saint swear.
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Sounds like my egg donor
LOL!! There have been times I’ve read your other articles about how narcissists behave and what they do and thought, “how annoying!”
Number 1 is something I won’t ever tolerate. When my partner and I first moved in together, we had lodgers to help pay the rent but I’ll never do that again, since privacy is important to me. Unfortunately, you have to give a lodger fair warning if you have to evict them. Visitors? I have the right to kick them out. Farting and burping…sometimes you have to let it go. I never let my brother come to visit me because I’m a dog-lover…and he likes to fart in my dog’s face. And if I go to a family shindig, I’ll leave my dog at home or else keep him close to me so I can protect him.
Want me to be around them all the time and long monologues? Unless I’m in the position where I can’t escape, it’s not going to happen. The work narc wanted to be around me in particularly because they knew I couldn’t stand to be around them and all of my other colleagues were subject to long monologues. She complained to the boss when I kept on working while the monologue was in full flight. Poking and prodding; complained to the boss for my refusing to rise to the poking and prodding. Watched me all the time and complained about the boss about my closed body language. Often stood too close for comfort and once walked so close behind me, deliberately she bumped against me and then said, “Oww, that hurt” accusingly. Rearranged everybody’s paperwork because it looked “too untidy” so they’d waste time to get it back in order.
Before then, I’d had prior experience with a monologuer who was unfortunately my superior and I suspect that most people tried to avoid her. One of my colleagues was outed when she’d tried to avoid the non-stop talker when they were both on their lunch break. When my colleague tried to avoid her, she got found out and was reprimanded in front of everybody. Because she was her superior, of course. Even though they were away from the workplace and on their lunch break. And even though this lady was an exemplary worker.
But what I hate most is a hypocrite. I read the article about “Things That Annoy Narcissists” and guess what? That’s also what they like to give out!
Yes, they’re all these things! I’ve also met quite a few monologuers. I sometimes wonder how they get anything done in their life!
They delegate their tasks, of course. I once read a quote which states, “If you need something done, ask a busy person. They’re the only ones who have the time”. That really annoys me.
Narcissist devour your time, even if they are not around.
They will leave you standing at the curb waiting for them.
They will start a fight just so they can go do something else, and you end up sitting at home angry and wondering what went wrong, trying to find ways to fix it.
They will make plans with you that they never intend to follow through on.
They want to steal as much of your time as they possibly can.
Because, time is something you can never get back.
Yeh they definitely steal your time.
I have always seen my NPD take his control by being loud especially when we are in a restaurant. During the pandemic his favorite would be to start in on the host by saying ” I thought you should be wearing a face covering???!! You are only wearing a mouth cover!” He thought this was hysterical as the poor host wouldn’t know how to respond and I would try to comfort them with the understanding he was just getting a rise. Then he would act inappropriately with the waitstaff especially females. He had bought me a new jacket and he asked the waitress who remarked that she loved it, if she wanted to try it on. Its gotten to the point that I have an anxiety attack when we are going to go out not knowing what he will do or say next. In private if I have wronged him by not agreeing with him on things or god forbid I have a personal issue that I wanted to discuss, he may punish me by farting on me on the couch or in bed or if we argue he will stonewall me and go to sleep only to wake me in the middle of the night by farting loudly and with quite the odor or getting up and turning on all the lights when he goes got use the bathroom so that it wakes me up. He normally says ” if i’m so horrible, why do you stay?”
Sounds like an utter delight!
Seems the immaturity level usually shows it’s self behind closed doors much more than when they are in public. However your NPD partner seems to not have a problem with showing it off in public, as well as, privately.
I hope you can get passed whatever it is that holds you there. Remember, you are just as valuable as everyone else in this world and life is short.
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t. ~ Louis C. K.
Take care