This is a guest post by Chrissy Snow…
The partners on the receiving end of a narcissists manipulative tactics are actually conditioned slowly. I liken it to a form of brainwashing.
The narcissist often, but not always, starts off as the man or woman you’ve been waiting for. They are too perfect to be true. That’s because its all a façade.
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As your NPD gets to know you, they are using tricks of the trade by idealizing you and making you feel like a king or a queen. This is all very purposeful, because you let your guard down.
After all, you are most likely an empath who eagerly reciprocates love, compliments and kindness. But as time goes by, you notice that it isn’t so readily available to you any more from the narcissist.
This is called intermittent reward, much like a slot machine addict keeps pulling the lever waiting for a prize. The narc knows that if he slowly starts abusing you verbally and emotionally, you will crave those times where you were back in the idealization phase. And you will do more and more to get that small crumb from him or her.
You will actually do just what they want, which is work harder. Giving them supply while they sit back and suck it in. If you have not been trauma bonded which I call an addiction; because, for me, it’s a high.
No one would normally be around a person who was so awful in every way and could change their behaviour at the drop of the dime, making you walk on eggshells for fear of the narc rage…. Unless they were conditioned, and their brain sets off a dopamine response, much like a drug where it triggered a false high.
If you have been involved as the addict in this relationship, you will have heard by now that it’s best to go NO CONTACT. To a woman or man who is trauma bonded to a narcissist, this can be so painful it feels like death.
So now what? First thing’s first. Get busy. Involve yourself in a social group or exercise class. Take up meditation. Seek out a therapist who is non judgemental and understands PTSD and trauma bonding. Confide in friends, and I mean ones who are not going to bash you or shame you for “getting yourself into this situation”. You have enough abuse from the narc.
Please CLICK HERE For How Narcissists Keep Their Button On Control
It’s time to start finding love and joy again because all the narc wants to do is have you hunt and gather it and then take it away. The thing is, they do it because THEY are truly all those horrible things they call you or tell you you are. They are so lonely and miserable, for them this is the only way they can survive. But that isn’t your concern.
You need to break the chain, the mind control, the hypnosis, he or she has you under. Because they want you under their thumb. But now you are wise to it. And you can start to do things to break out of the glass cage.
By Chrissy Snow
Please CLICK HERE For How To Break Trauma Bonds With Narcissists