Society claims to fear killers, especially serial killers. Yet millions obsess over them.
True crime documentaries dominate streaming platforms. Murderers receive sacks full of fan mail. Social media romanticises psychopaths as “misunderstood geniuses.” Some people even marry them in prison. Why is this?
The answer reveals something uncomfortable about human psychology. And about narcissism, trauma, empathy, and emotional hunger…
Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
The Fascination With Darkness
People are naturally drawn to danger, because fear gets your attention. Our brains are naturally focused on threats, because our survival depends on it.
Serial killers represent the ultimate threat, because they’re unpredictable, emotionally detached, and violate social rules. But the fascination can run deeper.
Some people don’t just study serial killers, they admire them. And that admiration often says more about the admirer than the killer…
The Narcissistic Appeal Of Power
Most serial killers share traits associated with psychopaths and malignant narcissists. These are lack of empathy, grandiosity, manipulation, shallow charm, and emotional coldness. Ironically, these are the same traits that many people associate with strength.
In a culture obsessed with confidence, dominance, and status, psychopaths can appear powerfully competent. They seem fearless, unemotional, and untouchable. They don’t beg for approval. Nor do they seem vulnerable.
To emotionally wounded people, especially those raised by narcissist parents, this can create a dangerous attraction. Because psychopaths appear to have all the ingredients they feel are missing in themselves.
Psychopaths become a fantasy of invulnerability. And some people secretly admire what they fear.
Trauma Bonding With Monsters
Many serial killer “fans” are not just entertained. They’re psychologically attached through trauma bonding.
People who grew up with narcissist parents, emotionally unavailable caregivers, or abusive relationships often confuse intensity with love. Their nervous system gets conditioned to accept emotional chaos.
A cold, dangerous figure can feel strangely familiar. Because the serial killer archetype shares a lot of similarities with narcissists…
- Charming at first.
- Emotionally detached.
- Manipulative.
- Controlling.
- Lacks empathy.
- Capable of cruelty without remorse.
To a healthy person, these traits signal danger. To a trauma conditioned person, they can feel like home.
This is not because victims are weak or blind. It’s because their brain adapted to survive toxic environments. Which is good at the time. But not when it later mistakes these people and environments for familiarity and intimacy.
Toxic Empathy – Wanting To Save The Monster
One of the most overlooked reasons people get obsessed with killers is toxic empathy. Toxic empathy happens when compassion overrides self protection. It’s essentially someone being too empathetic, at a cost to themselves…
Instead of asking…
“Is this person dangerous?”
The empath asks…
“What’s happened to them?”
This explains why so many people romanticise murderers by focusing on their childhood trauma and mental illnesses. They look for reasons why they did what they did. Then use this as justification. Rather than focus on the harm they did to their victims.
To be clear, understanding psychology is not the same as excusing evil. But some people cross this line because rescuing damaged people gives them identity and purpose.
This dynamic is especially common in people trapped in narcissist relationships. They become addicted to “saving” emotionally destructive people. So that the more dangerous the person appears, the more meaningful the rescue fantasy becomes.
Killers Convince People To Feel Sorry For Them
Many serial killers play the victim of difficult childhoods, abuse, neglect, and personal tragedies. They encourage people to feel sorry for them, because they know the benefits it brings.
While some may genuinely have experienced hardship, they often use these stories to shift attention away from the harm they caused. By emphasising their suffering, they encourage people to view them through the lens of pity, rather than accountability.
Some also portray themselves as misunderstood outsiders who were rejected by society. Through interviews, letters, and courtroom statements, they frame their actions as the result of circumstances beyond their control. This narrative can make people focus on the killer’s struggles, rather than the experiences of their victims. Or the severity of their crimes.
Charisma also plays a role. Some serial killers are skilled communicators who know how to seem vulnerable, remorseful, and likeable. They need these skills to reel in new victims. But these qualities also create emotional connections that make people more willing to excuse or minimise their behaviour.
It’s important to understand these tactics, because sympathy clouds judgement. Recognising the difference between explaining a person’s background and excusing their actions keeps the focus where it belongs. Which is on the consequences of the crimes, and not the perpetrators excuses.
Psychopaths As Dark Celebrities
Modern media also plays a major role. In films and books, serial killers are often presented as anti heroes who are intelligent, mysterious, and who “stick it to the man”.
Hollywood rarely portrays psychopaths as boring, pathetic, or insecure. Even though many are exactly that. Because that wouldn’t make good content. Instead, entertainment transforms predators into larger than life folk heroes.
Look at the film “Silence Of The Lambs” as an example. People are fascinated by Anthony Hopkins character. Because he’s intelligent, well spoken, cool, calm… yet dangerous. If he wasn’t a serial killer, then no one would be interested.
The public now consumes killers the way previous generations consumed Hollywood stars. There’s books, documentaries and films featuring most of the well known killers. There’s even cook books detailing their last meals on Death row! All which can lead to emotional desensitisation.
Victims become background characters, while killers become the star attraction. And the crimes they commit become a source for morbid curiosity, rather than disgust.
In the UK there were frequent calls to release the Kray twins, simply because they captured the public’s imagination. There’s also numerous calls to release UK prisoner Charles Bronson, despite him taking 11 hostages whilst in prison, and attacking over 20 inmates and guards. All because of media hype, talking about his troubled life.
Victims Are Often Forgotten
One of the saddest parts of serial killer culture is how quickly victims are forgotten. The killer stars in documentaries, fandoms, interviews, and analysis. Yet victims are statistics.
This mirrors narcissistic abuse dynamics. Narcissists dominate attention, while victims are erased.
The emotional energy of society flows toward the charismatic predator, instead of the wounded survivor. And since psychopaths are often skilled performers, people become hypnotised by their personality. Instead of horrified by their acts.
To a lesser degree, this also happens with celebrity “bad boys” and other celebrities who misbehave. People applaud their infidelity, fighting, partying, drinking, drugs, etc. Yet forget the victims, such as their spouse, children, etc.
Final Thoughts
The danger is not that people watch crime documentaries. The danger is when society confuses psychopathy with strength, emotional coldness with intelligence, and a lack of empathy with superiority.
The problem is that people start seeing the murderer as the hero and the victim. So the real victims are ignored.
This mindset carries into other areas of life too. People who do wrong are labelled as misunderstood victims. Whereas victims are ignored, ridiculed, and even accused of causing trouble if they complain.
Most serial killers are not criminal masterminds. They’re emotionally empty vessels driven by rage, shame, control, sadism, and a fractured identity.
People project power onto psychopaths because they fear their own vulnerability. Not because they’re special, or worthy of praise.
In a way I think we’ve over corrected. In the past criminals were no doubt treated too harshly. And access to justice was flawed at best. But now we’ve gone too far in the opposite direction. We now protect criminals at the cost of their victims. Which isn’t right, and it isn’t fair.
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