Dashing into the distance must be one of the most infuriating habits of narcissists.

You’re supposed to be having a relaxing day out. Perhaps a gentle stroll, and a mooch round town. And the narcissist ruins it by galloping ahead.

You ask them to slow down, but they don’t. Instead you’re served with a lecture on how you walk too slow. And they continue their breakneck pace. They may even speed up.

This turns another day out into a nightmare. Because instead of taking a leisurely saunter, you’re relentlessly pursuing them. And as soon as you catch up, they’re off again.

It’s frustrating, pointless, and confusing. Why would a narcissist walk ahead like that? Can’t they relax and enjoy the day? Don’t they want to be seen with me? What’s going on?

There’s several reasons why narcissists walk ahead. And not all of them apply to every narcissist. But you’ll find the answer is a combination of these things…

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Competition

Narcissists must prove themselves at all times. So they make EVERYTHING a competition. Even the simple act of walking.

Some narcissists race ahead to prove their physical prowess. Because if they walk faster than you, then it means they’re superior.

It doesn’t matter that they’re a foot taller than you. And you’re not competing. The narcissist feels a sense of pride by leaving you floundering in their wake. Even if it ruins your day.

In the narcissists mind, they’re quicker than you. And they’re leading. So they must be superior.

Narcissist Control

Narcissists are control freaks. Especially with those close to them. And they may want total control over you, and the day out.

Zooming ahead gives them this control. Because you can’t do anything but follow them.

You can’t stop to look at things. Or take in the view. And you can’t even ask to go somewhere you want. Because they don’t hear you when they’re 20 paces ahead.

When they march ahead, the narcissist controls where you go. How long you stop. And when you go home. Which is as close to total control as you can get.

Narcissists Lack Of Connection

Narcissists have “impaired empathy”. Which means they struggle connecting with others.

When we walk with someone, we find a mutually comfortable pace, and stick to it. When we talk to someone, we find mutual topics to discuss. And give each other room to talk. But narcissists don’t do these things.

Narcissists talk AT you. And they walk their own pace. They don’t think to consider you, because their only consideration is themselves.

If you remind them to slow down, they MAY slow for a while – if you’re lucky. But they quickly forget, and return to their breakneck speed.

The narcissist may have left the house with you. But they’re not really WITH you, because of their one-track mind. And you can feel this.

Ghosts From Their Past

Narcissists often accumulate enemies throughout their life, due to their narcissistic behaviours. But they may not want you to know about them. Because they want to appear more “normal” than they really are.

So they may race ahead, in case they bump into someone. Then they have the chance to make their exit before you catch up.

Narcissists Impatience

Most narcissists are impatient. And can’t stop to smell the roses. Or take their time. Or wait for other people. They must rush everything they do.

Their life is a box ticking exercise. Where “tasks” are rushed as quickly as possible. Then checked off as completed.

Little thought, care, or patience is used. Which is why you may hear them breathing erratically with frustration when doing chores. And lash out in anger at the most minor setback. These narcissists only focus on the destination, and not the journey. And anything that gets in their way is often met with a tirade of anger.

To the narcissist, your trip out is another task that needs completing. And in their mind, why take longer than necessary? They don’t understand about taking their time. And savouring the moment.

They Don’t Want To Be Seen With You

Some narcissists march ahead because they don’t want to be seen with you. It might be because they’re having an affair. Or they’re scoping out the talent – far from your prying eyes.

The narcissist may even feel “too cool for school”. And fantasise that they’re still young, free, and single. Even though they’re married, the wrong side of 40, and resemble an ageing pirate.

So they zoom ahead so they’re not seen with their partner and children. Because that would ruin their “rock star” image!

Final thoughts

It’s infuriating when narcissists march ahead, and ruin days out. And it feels ridiculous chasing them in public. Especially when everyone else is enjoying a relaxing time with their loved ones.

If a narcissist can’t outpace you, then they may take the opposite approach. And lag behind. But the same rules apply.

The narcissist controls you. Because they know you won’t walk away. In fact they revel at your discomfort, having to keep checking where they are.

The narcissist wins these power dynamics because they will walk away and leave you. But they know you won’t. Essentially playing your empathy against you.

Nothing’s simple with narcissists. As I’m sure you know. Everything’s a competition, manipulation, and power game. Even the simple act of walking.

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