I’ve known several alcoholic narcissists in my life time. And although not all narcissists are alcoholics, a significant proportion are. And even when they’re not, they usually like a drink more than most.
Narcissist drinkers are often “bad drunks”, who behave erratically when under the influence. And may get into an almost zombie state when they’ve drunk too much.
Despite this, many continue to drink. Even though they know from past experience that it doesn’t go well.
Why do narcissists drink alcohol? What are their typical behaviours around drink? What’s REALLY going on? Here’s my observations of narcissists and alcohol…
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They Appear To Change Into Someone Else
When narcissists drink, they seem to change into a different person. It’s hard to describe, but there’s a different look in their eyes. They’re more narcissistic, often blatantly rude and selfish. And sometimes in front of people they’re normally on their best behaviour for.
But the reality is, narcissists DON’T change when they’re drunk. Let me explain…
Narcissists spend most of their lives pretending to be someone else. They hold back some of their narcissism. Because they know that if they unleash it all, no one would go near them.
They might release more around their close family, but they still hold some back. Narcissists rarely show the full extent. And it must be exhausting spending most of your time pretending to be someone you’re not.
Alcohol allows them to relax and unleash more of their narcissistic ways. Because they have an excuse – it was the drink. This oddly makes their narcissistic behaviours more acceptable. Because people believe โit was the drink talkingโ.
The narcissists’ change is an illusion. When they’re drunk you actually see more of their true selves. Their reduced inhibitions encourage them to remove more layers of their mask than usual. Exposing their raw narcissistic self that lurks within.
They May Not Be As Drunk As You Think
The surprising thing about narcissists is they appear to get drunk quite easily. (Unless they want to prove themselves by how much they can drink). Someone who drinks regularly usually builds up a tolerance. And needs more alcohol to get drunk.
Why do some narcissists get drunk so easily? Because they’re not as drunk as they appear.
The narcissist appears more drunk because they unleash their narcissistic ways when drinking. And this gives the impression they’re more drunk than they are. It’s โnormalโ to act more narcissistic when bladdered. But a narcissist doesn’t need this level of drunk to act like an a**.
After just a few drinks, some narcissists unleash the level of narcissism that only someone paralytic would display. Which is why they appear more drunk than they are. And the narcissist happily lets people believe their behaviour was down to the drink. Because it gets them off the hook.

Don’t Know When To Stop
Most narcissists don’t know when to stop once they start drinking. Narcissists aren’t good at regulating their emotions and behaviours. And this applies to their drinking.
Narcissists are impulsive and live in the moment. And don’t worry about the consequences of their actions. They believe they’re invincible. And if they enjoy something, they want more.
This is why they’re often โthe oneโ at parties, who’s inebriated and a general pain. And because they’re drunk and even more narcissistic than usual, they foolishly believe everyone enjoys their antics. So in their mind, they have no reason to stop.
Leave You For Strangers
Talking of parties, here’s a REALLY common narcissist behaviour. At gatherings, they often leave loved ones standing, whilst mingling with anybody and everybody.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t know anyone, and you’re having a rotten time. The narcissist doesn’t care. They’re off.
Narcissists get excited when there’s new faces to impress. And alcohol fuels this more. Meaning they don’t have time for you. Even if they promised to stick with you.
Helps Them Become The Person They Want To Be
Narcissists learn from an early age to operate behind a faรงade. They wall themselves from their emotions, and play the โstrongโ character they desperately want to be. But underneath, this isn’t who they are.
Narcissists want to be confident, charismatic, and adored. And alcohol helps them achieve this. At least in their mind it does.
Alcohol reduces their inhibitions. Helping them feel confident and in charge. They’re less weighed down by doubt and fear. And they like this.
Most narcissists can’t be bothered pursuing self improvement. And anyway, how can you improve on perfection?! Alcohol provides a shortcut to greatness. But when they sober up, they crash back down to earth. Leaving them craving for more.
Why They Become Alcoholics
Most narcissists drink because of the benefits I’ve mentioned. But become alcoholics for different reasons.
Narcissists are grandiose, and have delusions of superiority. So they find it difficult to acknowledge they have a problem. Having a problem means admitting they’re less than perfect. And that’s not an option. Narcissists blame anyone and anything, before admitting they’ve done anything wrong.
Narcissists don’t heed advice from friends and family, who warn them about their drinking. The narcissist is superior and knows better. Why would they listen to the advice of inferior people? And any case, they’re reluctant to hand over control and โdo as they’re toldโ.
Narcissists delude themselves into thinking everything is fine. And bury their heads in the sand. Allowing their alcoholism to spiral out of control, whilst they milk the supposed benefits.
Showing Off And Hiding
The more grandiose narcissists may be proud of their drinking. And like the drama and attention it creates. They may show off how much they can drink, like a badge of honour. And even enjoy people begging them to stop.
The grandiose narcissist fits in when they’re younger. Because most of their peers do the same. But they may continue this bravado well into middle age. Appearing tragic to their maturing friends, who quit these shenanigans years ago.
The more vulnerable narcissists use alcohol to block their inner shame. And might be more secretive about their drinking. They may hide drink around the house if they have a family. And hide empty bottles when they’ve finished. For them, alcohol is their secret shame.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists often use alcohol to cover their deficits. They lose their inhibitions, making them feel confident and powerful. And forget their troubles.
Narcissists hate self reflecting. Because they don’t want to uncover their flaws. So they welcome escaping reality by hiding in a bottle.
Narcissists have little incentive to quit drinking, or keep it civilised. They don’t care what it does to their family, because they’re self entitled and have little empathy. And they don’t worry about the consequences to their health. Because they believe they’re special, and it won’t affect them.
Narcissists hide their narcissism with alcohol. Because it’s assumed their behaviours are due to drink. And if they drink every day, you barely see their sober self.
Alcohol is a powerful future faking tool for narcissists. It leaves their partners hanging on, putting up with their behaviours. Believing that one day a nice person will surface from their alcoholism. But sadly that nice person doesn’t exist. And deep down, the narcissist knows it.
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11 Signs You’re Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse
Yep this is spot on sadly , for them mostly but they donโt deserve that pity which if all it is . You should have seen narc #3 after one drink ๐๐๐๐. Mask slipped straight away . Competing with ppl around him in same area of work they were in . Narc #3 so obviously nowhere near them ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ. Thought it was though . It incensed it even more while all others successful in said area had nothing to prove and were relaxed . ๐๐คฃ๐. should have seen the eyes rolled when it started talking lol . Only it couldnโt see that . Lol . Aggressive, disgusting, jeckyl Hyde personality after a drink . Itโs they laughing stock and itโs flying monkeys of not only itโs town , but itโs spies towns .
zero respect any of them got . ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ
Yes Rachel, Jekyll and Hyde is a good description!
I live with an narcissistic man and wow I’m leaving him again I’ve left him so many times gone for months and all of a sudden I’m back in his trap again this time no more traps for me I’m a 70 year old woman has put up for 16 years of this man’s s*** and I’m done and I read on and on and on about him and that’s who he is I can’t deal with it anymore it is just it’s just goes on and on and on he does drugs drugs and drugs drugs and more drugs and more drugs and then drinks and drugs and drinks and drugs with his kids and all I can understand why their drug users wow
Don’t blame you Cindy. Me Ex’s drinking became way too much for me to live around. It’s not nice.