If you’ve been close to a narcissist, then you’ve probably noticed their criticisms. They may criticise your appearance. Your hobbies and interests. And even your family and friends. Pretty much nothing is off limits.

You may find that you don’t wash the dishes correctly. Or put them away in the right place. And when you cook a meal, it’s either over or undercooked.

After a while, you get the feeling that the narcissist is looking for things to criticise. And wants any excuse to do it.

Why do narcissist criticise so much? In this article I’ll explore the main reasons why narcissists criticise…

Please Watch The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

To Feel Superior

Narcissists gain a sense of satisfaction from criticising. Because it makes them feel superior to the person they’re putting down.

Narcissists have delusions of superiority. But may not have the achievements to back them up. To compensate, they may put others down, to lift themselves up. Which in their mind, makes up for their lack of achievements.

Narcissists feel a sense of accomplishment from tearing people down. Particularly if they’re more successful than the narcissist. Because it allows them to feel above the person they’re putting down. So the more successful the person they criticise, the more superior they feel.

To Push You On The Back Foot

Criticising people pushes them onto the back foot. Because they feel embarrassed, self conscious, and less capable than they really are. And this helps narcissists.

Narcissists like to control relationships. And criticising people is one of their tools to keep people under control. Think of this…

Someone who’s confident, capable, and comfortable in their own skin, is far more difficult to control. Whereas someone who’s insecure and unsure of themselves, is much easier.

So narcissists think nothing of robbing people of their self esteem, by constantly criticising them. Just to dominate relationships. Sadly, narcissists don’t care what this does to their “loved ones”. They only care about what they can take from them.

You’re Not Perfect

At the beginning of relationships, narcissists often idealise their partners. And find them perfect enough for someone as great as them. But the longer they know them, the more flaws they inevitably uncover.

Rather than accept that people aren’t perfect, narcissists focus on their flaws. And grow increasingly frustrated, the more they see. Which increases the frequency and intensity of their criticisms.

They Enjoy Hurting Your Feelings

The more malignant narcissists enjoy hurting peoples feelings. And know that criticising someone achieves this.

Some narcissists dress up their criticisms as “tough love”. Which allows them to get away with repeatedly criticising people, without pushing them away. Because they’re fooled into thinking the narcissist has their best interests at heart.

Remember, there’s ways of telling people things without hurting their feelings. Or at least you can minimise the pain, rather than bulldozing your way in.

Someone who consistently gives “tough love” without being asked, probably doesn’t have your best interests at heart. Especially if they never balance it out with compliments and encouragement.

Jealousy

Narcissists get jealous incredibly easily. And may get jealous of other peoples’ achievements. Even their own family and friends.

So the narcissist may criticise your successes. And make them out to be no big deal. Or tell you that you got lucky. Just to appease their own insecurities.

Narcissists are black and white in their thinking. So when you have some success, they worry that you might be “better” than them. And may dominate the relationship. So their instinct is to tear you down. Then you’re no longer a threat.

It’s Easy To Criticise

Many narcissists are lazy, and can’t be bothered doing the hard yards necessary for success. But they still want to be superior.

So many narcissists prefer to sit back and criticise others who are trying their best. Whilst doing nothing themselves.

Narcissists take comfort in that although they’ve achieved nothing of note, they’ve made no mistakes. Which allows them to convince themselves that they’re perfect. They conveniently forget that mistakes are inevitable when trying difficult things.

In the narcissists eyes, their lack of mistakes puts them above you. And they kid themselves that if they tried, they’d do better than you.

To Cause An Argument

Some narcissists deliberately poke with criticisms to cause an argument. And the argument is their end goal.

Many narcissists enjoy a good fight. Because it feeds their need for drama. And it gives them much needed attention – even if it’s negative. So they may keep criticising, just to provoke you.

Narcissists may also cause arguments to feel powerful. If they know that certain criticisms set you off, then they have a means of controlling you. Because they can trigger you with words, whenever they choose.

To Make You Look Crazy

Some narcissists want their partners to look crazy to others. Then no one believes them if they reveal what they’re like behind closed doors.

Some narcissists use reactive abuse to achieve this. This is where they repeatedly criticise their partners until eventually they snap. Then they hold their hands up as if the reaction came from nowhere.

Sadly, many narcissists are experts at subtly criticising their partners. And finding weak points they’re sensitive about. Which can create the impression that their partners are having an outburst for no reason. And therefore unstable and untrustworthy.

Final Thoughts

With narcissists, you’re in a no-win situation. They may initially like your good qualities, but eventually they get competitive and jealous. And look to tear you down.

At the same time, they inevitably discover flaws. And hate the fact that you’re not perfect. Because you’re not a good representation of them.

In a nutshell, they hate your qualities AND they hate your flaws. So you can’t win!

Narcissists have so much to gain from criticising their loved ones that it becomes a habit. So they might even criticise for no particular reason. But if you ever dare to criticise them, it might spark world war 3!

Please CLICK HERE For Why Narcissists Grow To Hate Their Partners

Why Narcissists Hate Their Partners