Narcissist parents are usually associated with being distant, both physically and emotionally. And unwilling to put time and energy into their children. But sometimes things go the opposite way.

Some narcissists dote on their child. Treat them like royalty, and do almost everything for them.

As I’m sure you know, narcissists lack emotional empathy, and are self absorbed. Which is why they’re usually absent parents. So why are some the complete opposite?

Unfortunately, it’s probably not for the right reasons. Here’s why narcissist parents dote on their child…

Please Check Out This Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…

An Extension Of Themselves

Some narcissists see their child as an extension of themselves. So doting on them is like doting on themselves. But whilst this comes with some perks, seeing a child as an extension of yourself isn’t healthy.

The narcissist is likely to ignore boundaries, because they see them as the same person. So they might not respect their space or privacy. Which is particularly problematic during their tender teenage years.

The narcissist parent may not respect that the child has their own likes, dislikes and opinions. Which differ from theirs. In fact they’re likely to encourage them to become a carbon copy of themselves. Which is a recipe for disaster when it comes to their long term well-being.

Good parents allow children to grow into who they’re destined to be. Rather than mould them into a replica of themselves.

Narcissists probably reason that they’re awesome. So it’s in the child’s best interests to be like them. Plus someone growing into a replica of them, helps validate their own existence.

Accessory

Some narcissists see their child as an accessory. Like Paris Hilton and her pooches.

The narcissist may take their child everywhere. Because it makes them look like a caring person. And they enjoy the attention that the child draws in.

People often talk positively to parents who are out and about with their children. And compliment them on their child. And as we all know, narcissists LOVE compliments!

Narcissists take compliments to their child as a compliment to themselves. And praise themselves on providing superior genes and genius level parenting.

Some narcissists also consider their child their property. And you don’t let your shiny new toaster wander the streets. So they like to keep them close where they can keep an eye on them.

Triangulation With Another Child

A narcissist might dote on a child to triangulate them with siblings. Classically, narcissists have a golden child and a scape goat. And they play their children off against each other to “divide and conquer”.

The narcissist parent encourages competition for their love. And dangles the carrot of who’s the golden child as the prize.

The golden child is usually terrified of losing their golden status. Because the narcissists can threaten to remove it. So they do as they’re told. And tell tales over their siblings, which causes more friction.

The scape goat is usually bitter at their treatment, and determined to win the love and approval they’re desperately missing. Which can also make them compliant to their parents demands.

Triangulation With You

A narcissist might dote on a child to triangulate them with you. The narcissist knows that you can’t complain if they show excessive love to a child. So they might do this just to annoy you. Or to show you how unimportant you are.

In this case the narcissist is saying that the child is more important then you. And there’s nothing you can do about it, because who wants to tell a parent to reduce the time and affection they spend with their child?

A narcissist parent is more likely to triangulate with a child from a previous relationship. Because they know that giving excessive love might be interpreted as pouring it into their previous relationship. And they can rub your nose in it, with no consequences.

Want To Be Seen As A Perfect Parent

Some narcissists pride themselves on being seen as the perfect parent. And may publicly dote on their children for maximum effect. But don’t display the same care in private.

For these narcissists, it’s more important to be SEEN as a good parent than it is actually BEING one. Because they want people to think highly of them. So the show is more important than the prize.

Outsiders can easily be fooled into thinking the narcissist is a good parent. Because they do all the right things in front of an audience. Much to the annoyance of their partners, who see what they’re really like. And this massive difference in treatment naturally confuses the child.

Fear Of Abandonment / Control

Narcissists are all about control. And some love people being dependant on them because it gives them the ultimate control.

A narcissists might mollycoddle a child to prevent them from growing and maturing. Keeping them dependant on the narcissist.

They might make all their meals, and wait on them hand and foot. Just so they can stop them from fending for themselves.

From the outside this may look like they’re being over caring, and their heart’s in the right place. But their motives are more selfish. As they deliberately hold their child back, rather than encourage their growth.

Want To Be Adored

Almost everything is a competition with narcissists. And sometimes they want to be the child’s favourite. So they dote on them to win.

They may allow the child to stay up late. And eat as much junk as they like. Because their eyes are firmly on the prize, rather than the child’s welfare.

This is more common when co-parenting with a narcissist ex. Because the narcissist is usually bitter towards their ex partner. And they want to win the battle of the favourite parent.

Final Thoughts

Whilst most narcissists don’t wish harm on their children, it’s unfortunately inevitable. Because they focus too much on themselves.

Narcissists are so self absorbed that they don’t see their child’s more complex needs. So it’s almost always left to the other parent or relatives to pick up the pieces.

Narcissists are usually emotionally immature. So it’s like expecting one big kid to look after another. They may be able to take care of their basic needs, but any more is probably asking too much.

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Why Narcissists Are Like Children