Some narcissists are obsessively orderly. They neatly arrange their underwear on coat hangers. Arrange their books into alphabetic order. And look down their noses at anyone who doesn’t do the same. But the majority of narcissists are disorganised and chaotic.
They struggle keeping their life in order. And need almost constant help to function. And even with support, they skate on thin ice.
If you’ve ever lived with a chaotic narcissist, it’s obvious they can’t look after themselves. And their homes and health would quickly deteriorate without you. Meaning you must pick up the pieces. Just to avoid living in squalor.
But the narcissist has a different perspective. They kid themselves that THEY keep things together. And it’s you who’s holding them back. That is until you split up. Then the narcissist realises how much they need you. Which is why they often hoover if they haven’t found a replacement.
If you’ve been close to a chaotic narcissist, then you’re probably aware of how disorganised they are. And how grim their life is. Here’s some things you might have witnessed with a chaotic narcissist…
Please Check Out The Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
Narcissists Can’t Stay On Top Of Things
Many narcissists are unwilling or unable to stay on top of things. And do the daily grind necessary to keep things on track.
Left to their own devices, the dirty plates pile up. Clothes are strewn across the floor. And there’s little food in the cupboards. In fact there’s probably more on the floor.
Most narcissists feel too important to do the daily chores. As they have “bigger” fish to fry. So they bury their heads in the discarded socks, while the mess builds up.
Once their place is a total wreck, friends and family may offer to help. And these offers are always accepted.
Most of us would be too embarrassed to let people clean our mess. And the offers would motivate us to do something about it. But narcissists don’t seem to mind. And sometimes they actively encourage people to help them.
To keep their delusions of superiority alive, narcissists probably fantasise that their “staff” is coming over to do their dirty work. As they’re too important to do it themselves.
Narcissists Are Self Absorbed
As we all know, narcissists are self absorbed. And don’t consider people around them. And the same goes for their environment.
Narcissists think nothing of throwing a plate full of food into the sink and walking away. Gone from their mind. Or throwing their dirty clothes on the floor, without a thought for what happens next.
Narcissists barely notice the chaos they live in. And that’s probably because they’re so preoccupied with themselves.
Their need for narcissistic supply is an obsessive pursuit. And their delusions of grandeur take over their thoughts. So there’s little room for anything else.
Narcissists seem able to relax with chaos around them. Whereas their long suffering partners can’t. Which forces them to clean up after the narcissist. Whilst the narcissist sits back, and criticises the standard of cleaning!
Narcissists Are Disorganised And Forgetful
Narcissists self absorption often leads to them being disorganised and forgetful about almost everything. They may throw their car keys amongst the chaos, without a thought for how they’ll find them later. Or mindlessly throw their wallet down. So they never know where to find it.
Of course, the narcissist doesn’t accept responsibility for losing anything. They blame others. Then rally everyone round to help them find it.
Birthdays and anniversaries are usually the last thing on their mind. Food is decaying in their fridge. Their car runs on fumes. And then there’s the dreaded bills…
Bills
As you might expect, narcissists are disorganised with their bills. And either put off paying them, or forget about them altogether.
This means they’re constantly on the back foot. Paying bills late. And incurring extra charges for the privilege.
Narcissists often lack motivation to act on things they don’t want to do. Unless there’s a direct and immediate consequence. Which is why many wait until the threatening letters, before they’re moved to pay.
Some narcissists live an almost nomadic lifestyle. Where they allow bills to pile up. Then move house and disappear. Just to avoid paying them.
Finances
Narcissists are “in the moment” people. And don’t plan for the future. Their only concern is getting what they want – now. And this ethos plays havoc with their finances.
Narcissists grandiosity and impulsivity leads them to buy what they want – now. With little regard to the future. So they may spend their months wages in the first week. And repeat this cycle every month. Never caring, or learning from past mistakes.
The narcissist is only concerned when their money runs out, and they can’t buy what they want. They don’t anticipate it before it happens. But that’s OK, because they usually have a solution – other people.
Narcissists often have friends and family to borrow from. And may borrow every month to make up their shortfall. In affect, relying on others to budget for them.
Some narcissists rely on others so much, that they come to expect it. And they feel financially responsible for the narcissist. And that’s exactly what the narcissist wants them to feel.
Jobs
Narcissists are split into two camps when it comes to work. Some narcissists give everything to their job. Often at the expense of their family. Because they want praise, kudos, and the status of promotions. But other narcissists are the complete opposite.
Since narcissists are disagreeable by nature, they often have conflicts at work. And because they believe they’re omnipotent and don’t need anybody, they may quit over the smallest argument. That they probably caused.
Combine this with their unreliability, and many narcissists jump from job to job. Because either their employers have had enough of them, or they’ve had enough of their employers. Or there’s been an argument with their colleagues.
This instability in employment ricochets chaos throughout their life. Because it affects their finances, living arrangements, friendships, and more.
Narcissist Friendships
Due to their readiness for conflict, many narcissists regularly fall out with friends and family. And aren’t speaking to them one minute, then best friends the next.
Narcissists need lots of attention, so they may “forgive” surprisingly easy. But if their friends or family don’t forgive them, then they might be out on a limb.
Some narcissists regularly make new friends to replace the ones they lose. And may be involved with questionable characters. Because narcissists would rather hang out with the dregs of society, than spend time alone.
Bringing short-lived toxic friends into their life only increase the chaos. Because their life is tainted by the chaos of others, as well as themselves.
Mental Health
Most narcissists lead lives that are bad for their mental well being. Because they’re self absorbed, and don’t connect in a meaningful way. So they often experience dips in their mental health.
The narcissist may stay in bed most of the day. Barely leaving the house. Eat poorly. And generally opt out of life.
Narcissists aren’t interested in doing things for others. Even their own family. And they don’t realise that serving others is essential for good mental health. Because that’s what gives you a sense of connection.
Their mental health dips exacerbate the chaos in their lives. And during these dips, things can go from bad to worse. As they become even less able to look after themselves.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists bring chaos to their own and other people lives. And this is largely down to their disordered personalities. But there’s also another factor at play.
Narcissists WANT to bring chaos to the table. Because it keeps people off balance, and allows them to take control.
Narcissists know that most people want peace and harmony. So they can use the threat of chaos to get their own way.
On top of this, narcissists are more likely to get away with mind games and manipulations within a chaotic environment. Because the waters are muddied. Making it more difficult to identify who’s causing the trouble, and who’s pulling the strings.
Narcissists bring chaos because of their chaotic personalities, AND because it’s in their best interests. So if you want a life of peace and harmony, then stay away from narcissists. Because narcissists and chaos go hand in hand.
Please CLICK HERE To Learn About Narcissists Hoarding
Or Scroll Down For My Most Popular Posts…