Whilst not all narcissists gamble, a large percentage do. And many narcissists ruin theirs and their loved ones finances because of their reckless gambling.
Why are so many narcissists drawn to gambling? What does gambling give them? And why does it often spiral out of control?
Here’s some of my thoughts on narcissists and gambling…
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Sense Of Entitlement
Narcissists believe they’re entitled to the finer things in life. They expect more than those around them, regardless of merit.
Narcissists believe they’re born special. And are often frustrated that the world doesn’t acknowledge their greatness. But they live in hope that one day their superiority will be recognised. And they received their just rewards.
In their mind, gambling is an easy gateways to the good life. Many narcissists feel entitled to a big win. And expect the universe to provide them with the riches they deserve.
This keeps many narcissists in the gambling loop. Repeatedly throwing away money, attempting to win what is rightfully theirs. Making them persist, even in the face of big losses and overwhelming odds.
Magical Thinking
Many narcissists engage in magical thinking. They believe they’re blessed with special powers that allow them to influence things from afar.
They may engage in certain rituals, which they believe influences the outcome of their bet. And whilst many people have superstitions, most people take them with a pinch of salt. And don’t gamble away their house on the strength on them. But narcissists are often frighteningly sure of themselves.
The narcissist believes their special status gives them an advantage when gambling. They’re destined for greatness. And it’s only a matter of time before they come good.
Again this keeps them persisting, even when their gambling becomes a problem. Because they “know” something will magically happen to bale them out.
Delusional Thinking
Narcissists delude themselves into believing they’re special. And they interpret things to support their delusions.
The narcissist may kid themselves that they’re a successful gambler. Even though they routinely lose the shirt off their back.
Narcissists are usually quick to count their winnings. But conveniently forget their losses. And not only do they kid others, but they kid themselves too.
Convinced they’re a successful gambler, they may repeatedly lose huge sums of cash. Kidding themselves that they’re up.
Loved ones can be confused by the narcissists actions. Wondering how they can be so stupid to keep making the same mistakes. They don’t realise that in the narcissists world, things look very different.
Always Looking For Something For Nothing
Narcissists exploitative nature means they’re always looking to gain something for nothing. Which is what attracts so many to gambling.
Honest hard work for a fair pay is not appealing to most narcissists. That toil is for the ordinary folk. Narcissists believe they deserve better. And feel the world owes them.
So they look for cracks in the system. Some commit fraud or theft. Others find people to sponge off. And some look to gambling for “easy money”.
Narcissists reason that gambling is money for nothing. Especially for someone special like them, who’s destined to win. They feel it’s a good opportunity to receive high rewards for minimal effort. So they’re all in.
Need A Buzz
Narcissists spend much of their life walled off from their emotions. This makes them more ruthless, which feeds their delusions of superiority. And prevents them from being hurt by others. But it comes at a price.
Not feeling the normal spectrum of human emotions leaves the narcissist feeling flat. Which causes restlessness, boredom, and depression.
Gambling gets the narcissists blood pumping. The highs of chasing the win, and the lows of defeat. This buzz helps them feel alive, giving them a much needed dopamine hit.
Narcissists often have addictive personalities. And the buzz of high stakes gambling is too irresistible for some to ignore. And their addiction takes over, regardless of the cost.
Show Off
Narcissists like to show off their superiority. And gambling gives them this opportunity.
Narcissists can show off their bravery. Taking huge risks in the face of insurmountable odds. They can show off their affluence, throwing money around like confetti. And they can show off their wins, even if they conveniently forget about their losses.
Narcissists feel like big players taking on the world. Even if they lose their minimum wage pay on a stupid flutter.
Many book makers and casinos draw in narcissistic characters. They do this by creating sexy and glamorous images for gambling. Showing pictures of attractive scantily glad models, dripping with gold. And shows of great wealth, such as sports cars, yachts, and luxury villas.
Many narcissists buy into this image. And like to associate themselves with the affluent world of gambling. Even if it bleeds them dry.
Narcissists often care more about appearing successful than actually being a success. The image is more important than the reality. So they’re happy to live poorly, as long as others think they’re rich.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists are drawn to the excitement of gambling. The buzz makes them feel alive. And the glitz and glamour appeals to their delusions of grandiosity.
Narcissists believe they’re special, and a big win is just around the corner. This fuels them to continue gambling, even when they’ve lost everything. And couple this with their addictive personalities, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.
The world of gambling is tailored to target narcissists. Because it plays on their grandiosity, superiority, and greed.
In casinos and gambling circles, they look for a particular “type” of sucker. Someone who’s arrogant when they’re up, and throws it all away. And who carries on gambling when the chips are down.
They don’t know that these people are called narcissists. But they instinctively know the type. And that’s who they learn to target.
They know these people are suckers for a bet. They gamble more than they can afford in reckless bets. And they keep coming back for more. Unwilling to admit defeat.
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Thank you, Jon, for this explanation. My ex grew up with a silver spoon. I grew up poor contributing to expenses beginning at 13 for food, school, clothes, car, insurance, college, and finally, independence. My ex knew I hated gambling so he did it on the sly and on lies when I questioned him. When the horrid truth and level of damage became apparent, I kicked him out. He was more a liability to the family’s (two children) stability than an asset. He was diagnosed bipolar afterward. His many abuses through twenty years of marriage nearly broke me. Gambling was the last straw. He was bankrupt when I met him, we went bankrupt again ten years later. I refused to go through bankruptcy again because of his negligence and insanity. It’s still hard for me to understand it all.
Yes it is hard to understand narcissists thoughts and behaviours, because they’re so different. Most people who want money work hard and save hard. But narcissists believe they’re too good for this. Instead they often believe luck will favour them, because they’re special. Even when the odds are clearly stacked against them.