Narcissist relationships are almost guaranteed to knock your self confidence. Because narcissists find many ways to put people down.
Narcissists want to be top dog in their relationships. So they push their “loved ones” onto the back foot with negative suggestions. So they’re weak and subservient.
The narcissists repeated negativity drains your confidence. And you can suffer the consequences long after the relationship is over. Unless you fight back.
In this article I’ll discuss several ways to regain your confidence after a narcissist relationship. Here we go…
Please Watch the Following Short Video To Aid Your Understanding…
Identify Your Negative Self Beliefs
Spend some time listening to your inner dialogue. And look for the negative self beliefs.
You might for example tell yourself you’re “too stupid” when attempting to do something. Or “success is not for me” when an opportunity presents itself.
Your goal is to banish these negative self beliefs, and replace them with positive thoughts. And here’s a good way of doing this…
Create some separation in your mind from these negative thoughts. They’re not you. They’re things you’ve picked up from negative people and negative experiences. So when negative thoughts pop up, listen to them as if they’re someone else.
If you can, see the humour in them. You can almost roll your eyes when they pop up, and think “here we go again, being all negative”.
If you make light of them, they have no power. Because you see how ridiculous they are. And once you put these negative thoughts in their place, it’s easy to replace them with positive ones.
Write down 5 positive things about yourself on a piece of paper. And put it somewhere prominent. Like at a desk, or on a fridge. And read them several times throughout the day.
This helps drum in more positive self talk. Which counteracts the negative talk the narcissist drummed in.
Whenever negative thoughts pop into your head, laugh at them. Then think of something positive from your list. And focus on that.
This gets you in the habit of deflecting negative thoughts, and replacing them with positive thoughts. Which is great for building your confidence.
Be Kind To Yourself
Narcissists often jump on anything remotely resembling a “flaw”. And make people feel small for not being perfect.
But the fact is, no one is perfect. Including the narcissist.
We all come with strengths and weaknesses. Our quirks and foibles. And that’s what makes humans so varied and interesting.
Embrace your strengths AND weaknesses. And accept you have both – like everybody else. Because that’s what makes up the whole of you.
Once you accept your imperfections, you can let go and relax. Because you no longer need to hide things about yourself. Or feel ashamed about them.
Give Yourself A Challenge
To increase your confidence, you must challenge yourself from time to time. These challenges don’t have to be huge. But they must push you out your comfort zones.
For example, you might fear going to cafes alone. So make a plan and do it. What’s the worst that can happen? Do you really think that others care that you’re alone?
Once you’ve risen to a challenge, you grow in confidence. Because you’ve broken through a mental barrier. And you’ve grown as a person.
This helps you see that, like everyone else, you are a work in progress. And growth is much better for your self esteem than stagnation. So always look to grow. Even if it’s in small incremental steps.
Learn New Skills
Learning new skills grows you as a person. And with growth comes confidence.
If there’s something you’ve been wanting to learn, go for it! The sooner you start, the sooner you become an expert. And once you see your skills expanding, it’s almost impossible not to increase in confidence.
It doesn’t matter what these skills are. They could be learning a musical instrument. Learning a new language. Or learning how to swim. Keep growing and learning, and your confidence will grow with it.
Exercise
Getting fit is great for confidence. Because you look better, and feel better. Studies show that exercise improves body image. Which leads to increased confidence.
Less than a quarter of all Americans get enough exercise. So if you do this, you’re in the top 25%.
Find an exercise you like doing. Or at least one you can tolerate. Because the less of a chore it is, the more likely you are to stick to it.
Put exercise into your daily routine. Like you do brushing your teeth and taking a shower. These are non-negotiable habits in your routine. And exercise should be too.
Body Language
How you hold yourself makes a huge difference to your confidence. If you adopt a defensive posture, with arms and legs crossed, then you’re likely to feel vulnerable. And this affects your mindset and attitude. Plus it affects how people see you.
Instead, adopt an open posture. Keep your chin up, and your shoulders back. And instantly you feel more confident. Try it!
With a more positive body language, people treat you noticeable better. Because they see you in a more positive light. Which in turn increases your confidence even more. Allowing you to ride on a positive wave of confidence. You got this!
Please CLICK HERE For How To Stop Over Thinking After A Narcissist Relationship
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