I’ve heard many stories of narcissists taking advantage of empathetic people. But it’s also true that narcissists are sometimes fooled by other narcissists.
Narcissists aren’t otherworldly creatures. Although they may seem that way at times! They can also be vulnerable and open to exploitation.
Here’s some examples where I’ve witnessed narcissists fool other narcissists…
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Mutual Love Bombing
As you’re probably aware, narcissists “love bomb” at the beginning of a relationship or friendship. They act kind, considerate and nice. And lavish with praise.
They do this to lure the person in. They know they can’t act narcissistic at the beginning. Everyone would run a mile. So they act nice. And tell them how great they are. Once they’re reeled in, the narcissist behaviours kick in.
Narcissists LOVE being praised and adored. They’re narcissists after all! And I’ve noticed they are BIG suckers for compliments.
You can get a situation where two narcissists love bomb each other AT THE SAME TIME. Both loving the praise they’re receiving. And both thinking they’ve pulled the wool over each others eyes!
Narcissists experience a fantastic time together at the beginning of a relationship. But when the honeymoon love bombing period is over – expect war!
Where they were once awesome together, they now battle for control. Narcissist always want the upper hand in any relationship. They don’t want things equal.
With two narcissists, you have a situation where BOTH parties wrestle for control. They both bully, manipulate, and do what it takes to be in charge. And sparks fly during their battle for supremacy!
Narcissists usually have a great love bombing period, followed by all out war. Then split up. But they don’t always part ways.
Mutual Benefit
Narcissists sometimes stay together if there’s a mutual benefit. Narcissists don’t stay with someone out of loyalty. There has to be something in it for them. When you have two narcissists together, they must BOTH have a benefit to stay together.
The classic case is the rich older wealthy businessman, and the younger good looking model type.
The older businessman benefits as he can show off his younger partner. Narcissists are very image driven. And even though they may argue like cat and dog, they’re more interested in how they’re perceived. Nothing makes a narcissist purr in delight more than showing off an aesthetically beautiful younger partner. They’re often prepared to put up with the narcissistic drama for this fix.
And some narcissists love nothing more than showing off wealth. They like to be seen at expensive restaurants. Driving luxury cars. And wearing designer clothes.
The younger model benefits from the trappings of their partners wealth. And some are prepared to live an unhappy life to get it.
Whilst a couple like this may not be truly happy, they’re both getting their narcissistic needs met. They might cheat behind each others back. And secretly hate each other. But they give a public show of unity so everybody believes they have the perfect life. That way they look fabulous!
Narcissists that stay together are usually using each other in some way.
The “Good Guy” Narcissist
Some narcissists like to be seen publicly as the “good guy”. They bend over backwards for a relative stranger. And do anything for people they barely know. But won’t lift a finger to help their “nearest and dearest”.
This is because narcissists LOVE to be adored. Especially from the world at large. Some play the “good guy” role to get their fix of adoration.
These types of narcissists can be taken advantage of by other narcissists. A narcissist can smell someone who’s eager to please from a thousand paces. And they quickly move in for the kill.
The narcissist, keen to be praised and adored, gets used and abused by the other narcissist. People might be fooled into thinking the narcissist is a poor vulnerable victim. But really they were only being so giving because they wanted to be adored.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists are not immune to the charms and manipulation of other narcissists. Some can be particularly vulnerable. Especially covert narcissists.
Narcissists need to be loved and adored more than the average person. And they’re constantly on the look out for external validation. This leaves them open for others narcissists to move in and exploit them.
In the real world, there’s no “narcissist truce”. Narcissists are out for what they can get. And they don’t care who they take it from.
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Interesting. Makes sense.