When dealing with narcissists, humour can sometimes help you keep your sanity and perspective. You don’t have to take every ridiculous accusation they make seriously. Especially in the privacy of your own mind!
Here are 19 funny comebacks for narcissists that you might THINK rather than say. And a few that you might actually use in the right situation…
“That’s an interesting version of events.”
When their story bears little resemblance to what actually happened, you don’t necessarily have to argue about every detail.
Funny comeback:
“That’s an interesting version of events.”
It’s a polite way of saying, “I’m not buying this”.
“Would you like me to agree, or would you like the truth?”
Narcissists aren’t usually looking for a discussion. They want agreement.
Funny comeback:
“Would you like me to agree, or would you like the truth?”
Of course, they may not appreciate either option when you put it like this!
“I’m sure that sounded better in your head.”
Sometimes a narcissist delivers a grand speech expecting you to be impressed.
Funny comeback:
“I’m sure that sounded better in your head.”
Short. Sarcastic. And potentially enough to end their grand performance!
“Congratulations! You’ve managed to make this about you again.”
You could be discussing your feelings, your problems, or something completely unrelated to them. But somehow the conversation ends up being about them. Again.
Funny comeback:
“Congratulations. You’ve managed to make this about you again!”
“You’re entitled to your opinion. Even when it’s about me.”
Sometimes the simplest response is to acknowledge their opinion without accepting it.
Funny comeback:
“You’re entitled to your opinion. Even when it’s about me.”
This can be surprisingly powerful. Because it neither denies nor accepts their opinion.
“I’ll add that to the list of things I’m apparently responsible for.”
Narcissists may blame other people for problems that aren’t their responsibility. As if you’re supposed to watch over them at all times.
Funny comeback:
“I’ll add that to the list of things I’m apparently responsible for.”
At this rate, you may need a spreadsheet!
Please CLICK HERE For 15 Things Narcissists Say When You Set Boundaries
“That’s not quite how I remember it.”
When a narcissist confidently tells you an event happened differently from how you remember it, you don’t have to immediately accept their version.
Funny comeback:
“That’s not quite how I remember it.”
You don’t have to turn it into a courtroom drama.
“And somehow this is my fault?”
Sometimes the blame shifting gets so ridiculous that you can almost see the gears turning.
Funny comeback:
“And somehow this is my fault?”
Followed by a raised eyebrow.
“That’s a lot of confidence for someone who wasn’t there.”
Narcissists may confidently tell you what you thought, felt, meant, or experienced.
Funny comeback:
“That’s a lot of confidence for someone who wasn’t there.”
Because apparently they have access to your internal monologue.
“I didn’t realise we were rewriting history today.”
When yesterday’s events suddenly gain a completely new storyline.
Funny comeback:
“I didn’t realise we were rewriting history today.”
You may want to keep the sarcasm to yourself, if you think that confrontation would make the situation worse.
“I’ll try to survive the disappointment.”
A narcissist may act as though your disagreement has caused them tremendous personal suffering.
Funny comeback:
“I’ll try to survive the disappointment.”
Because apparently your independent opinion is a personal attack.
“That’s one way of looking at it.”
When you don’t want to spend another 30 minutes debating their interpretation of reality.
Funny comeback:
“That’s one way of looking at it.”
Translation… I’m not arguing about this.
“Do you want an argument, or are you just warming up?”
Some arguments with narcissists seem to have no destination. They’re just getting started.
Funny comeback:
“Do you want an argument, or are you just warming up?”
This comeback may be best saved for your imagination!
“I see we’re skipping the part where you take responsibility.”
When responsibility mysteriously disappears from the conversation.
Funny comeback:
“I see we’re skipping the part where you take responsibility.”
Don’t hold your breath waiting for that section.
“That’s certainly a creative interpretation.”
This is useful when their explanation requires a considerable amount of mental gymnastics.
Funny comeback:
“That’s certainly a creative interpretation.”
It sounds polite. But it isn’t that polite!
Please CLICK HERE For My Funny Collection Of Jokes And Memes About Narcissists
“You seem very interested in what I think.”
Narcissists may criticise you while simultaneously being remarkably interested in your reactions.
Funny comeback:
“You seem very interested in what I think.”
Sometimes the simplest observation can expose the contradiction.
“That’s not the insult you think it is.”
Narcissist insults often reveal more about them than you.
Funny comeback:
“That’s not the insult you think it is.”
Then stop explaining yourself. It drives them crazy wondering what you’re getting at!
“Interesting. Anyway…”
One of the most underrated responses.
Funny comeback:
“Interesting. Anyway…”
Then change the subject. You don’t have to respond to every provocation.
“I’m not available for this conversation.”
This isn’t particularly funny. But it may be one of the most useful responses on this list. Because sometimes the funniest thing you can do is refuse to participate in the nonsense.
You don’t have to win every argument with narcissists. You don’t have to prove your point. And you certainly don’t have to respond to every accusation. Sometimes the best comeback is no comeback at all.
Please CLICK HERE For How To Set Boundaries With Narcissists
Final Thoughts
Humour can provide some emotional distance from behaviour that would otherwise leave you angry, confused or upset.
Being able to recognise the absurdity of the situation can help you step back and think…
“Hang on. Why am I even arguing about this?”
However, there’s a difference between thinking a funny comeback and actually saying it. If you’re dealing with an aggressive, controlling or abusive narcissist, then provoking them may make the situation worse. So use with care.
Sometimes a neutral response, changing the subject, ending the conversation, or walking away is safer and more effective. If you want some more serious ideas for responses, please click the link bellow…
Please CLICK HERE For 17 Phrases To Disarm Narcissists
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