After reading about narcissism, it’s natural to wonder “am I a narcissist?”. And if you’ve been in a close relationship with one, then you may have been accused of being a narcissist yourself.

When in a narcissist relationship, you can pick up some of their traits. And become more narcissistic yourself. But this doesn’t mean you’re a full blown narcissist.

To some degree you ARE a narcissist. Narcissism is a spectrum, and we’re all on it. But most of us have a healthy level of narcissism. People with an unhealthy level find it negatively affects their life and relationships.

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Narcissists do a lot of projecting. They blame you for things THEY do wrong. And they point out your character flaws, which are really there’s. So it’s common for narcissists to accuse others of being narcissists. This causes many to doubt themselves, and wonder whether they are narcissists.

How To Know If You Are A Narcissist

I’ve compiled a few questions to ask yourself. This should give you an indication of whether you’re a narcissist.

This is NOT a medical diagnosis, just a guide. But the more yes answers you give, the more narcissistic you could be.

If you’re worried you might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), please seek medical help.

• When you walk into a room, do you automatically rank everyone’s status? This could be based on looks, wealth, strength of character etc.
• Do you care a lot about where you are in this hierarchy?
• Do you look down on people beneath you. And up to those above you?
• Do you often feel jealous of people who have more than you?
• Do you believe you’re special and deserve more than everybody else?
• Are you a sore loser, and a bad winner?
• Do you often put others down? Either directly or indirectly?
• Are you hyper sensitive to insults?
• Do you find it difficult to listen to others when they talk about themselves?
• Do you struggle to apologise and admit you’re wrong?
• Do you consider rules are only for others, and not for you?

Remember, this is a guide only. Seek medical evaluation if you want to know for sure.

Like I said earlier, narcissists often accuse others of being narcissists. And repeating this message over and over can lead you to believe it.

So in a strange twist, it’s often the people that aren’t narcissists that question whether they are. Because narcissists think they’re perfect, and there’s nothing “wrong” with them. So they don’t question themselves “Am I a narcissist?”

There’s a big difference between narcissistic behaviour and normal self care. And narcissists often point out that normal self care is you being narcissistic. For example, going on a spa day every few weeks.

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If you occasionally go to a spa day to treat yourself, then this is self care. However if you go all the time, neglecting your family, and spending money you should be spending on them, then it’s narcissistic. Because the self care is at the cost of others.

In another example, meeting up with friends every now and then is part of self care. But if you drop plans with your loved ones to meet friends all the time, and neglect your children, then it’s in the realms of narcissistic behaviour.

Remember, ALWAYS take what narcissists tell you with a pinch of salt!

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Common Narcissist Traits