After reading about narcissism, it’s natural to wonder if you are a narcissist. And if you’ve been in a close relationship with one, then you may have been accused of being a narcissist yourself.
To some degree you ARE a narcissist. Narcissism is a spectrum, and we’re all on it. But most of us have a healthy level of narcissism. People with an unhealthy level usually find it negatively affects their life and relationships.
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Narcissists do a lot of projecting. They blame you for things THEY do wrong. And they point out your character flaws, which are really there’s. So it’s common for narcissists to accuse others of being narcissists. This causes many to doubt themselves, and wonder whether they are narcissists.
I’ve compiled a few questions to ask yourself. This should give you an indication of whether you’re a narcissist.
This is NOT a medical diagnosis. It’s just a guide. The more yes answers you give, the more narcissistic you could be.
If you’re worried you might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), please seek medical help.
- When you walk into a room, do you automatically rank everyone’s status? This could be based on looks, wealth, strength of character etc.
- Do you care a lot about where you are in this hierarchy?
- Do you look down on people beneath you. And up to those above you?
- Do you often feel jealous of people who have more than you?
- Do you believe you’re special and deserve more than everybody else?
- Are you a sore loser, and a bad winner?
- Do you often put others down? Either directly or indirectly?
- Are you hyper sensitive to insults?
- Do you find it difficult to listen to others when they talk about themselves?
- Do you struggle to apologise and admit you’re wrong?
- Do you consider rules are only for others, and not for you?
Remember, this is a guide only. Seek medical evaluation if you want to know for sure.
Like I said earlier, narcissists often accuse others of being narcissists. And repeating this message over and over can lead you to believe it.
So in a strange twist, it’s often the people that aren’t narcissists that question whether they are. Because narcissists think they’re perfect, and there’s nothing “wrong” with them.

There’s a big difference between narcissistic behaviour and normal self care. And narcissists often point out that normal self care is you being narcissistic. For example, going on a spa day.
If you occasionally go to a spa day to treat yourself, then this is self care. However if you go all the time, neglecting your family, and spending money you should be spending on them, then it’s narcissistic. Because the self care is at the cost of others.
In another example, meeting up with friends every now and then is part of self care. But if you drop plans with your loved ones, meet friends all the time, and neglect your children, then it’s more in the realms of narcissistic behaviour.
Remember, ALWAYS take what a narcissist tells you with a pinch of salt!

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I’m glad this is here as a guide since my ex is now claiming I am the narcissist, not him. I have been in therapy for a great number of years for issues stemming from low self esteem so, although I display a couple of these behaviors occasionally, I felt I was missing a few key components to consider it for myself. All of your writing has been really helpful for me to keep these things in mind in order to stay away from my sons fathers tendancies as well as identifying new narcissisic people trying to get into my life.
I’m so glad this is helping you. Yes narcissists commonly accuse others of being narcissists. It’s the reason I write this article.They do it to deflect blame onto you. They hope you’re so busy worrying about whether you’re a narcissist, that you don’t notice them being one! They don’t realise or don’t care of the psychological damage this can do.