Comments on: Why Narcissists Want Children

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 20:28:35 +0000

In reply to Tracey. Yes, very true Tracy. I too was on the receiving end of this to some degree. I hope you find some peace soon.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 16:55:54 +0000

You failed to mention that narcissists have children to ensure future servants, and believe me as a narcissist ages they only get worse!
I could write a book about highly sensitive empath children that live with their severely narcissistic mother!
I’m 59, and had no idea what I was in for when I moved in with my mother 13 years ago to help her as she became unhealthy.
I now beg and pray for death, it’s my only way out of this living hell!

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Tue, 31 May 2022 08:35:32 +0000

In reply to J.R. Yes I can see why you're concerned for your grandchildren's development. CBT is supposed to be good for helping people think in more healthy ways. That could be worth a shot. Or any talking therapy. As there may be habits and traits they may have picked up without consciously realising it. But it sounds like they're fairly clued up, since they now avoid your son. So they may be OK.

By: J.R

J.R — Mon, 30 May 2022 22:35:21 +0000

Thank you for your blog and incredible information.
My adult son is a narcissist and suffers from uncontrolled bi-polar personality disorder. He has controlled his kids by giving gifts, money, trips, cars, support for sports (coaching, driving to playoffs, etc.) He berates them on the return trips and any time he is disappointed in them.
Dad verbally abuses the kids but is not physically abusive. He has anger issues.
It is a complicated mess of emotions; love, fear, anger, pain, disappointment, and grasping at normalcy for my grandchildren. (The parents had kids at 16, married at 18. No drinking/drugs involved.)
I worry that the kids, too, are narcissistic. It has been a terribly “me” focused group for years.
Mother also has serious problems that I can’t define.
Watching them grow up I have been genuinely concerned about the dynamics in the family.
Son’s wife has now divorced my son and while I understand that their marriage was toxic, they each use their children against the other. Their divorce has been horrible. My son is now alone. The family has broken away from him and he says that he has already “buried his kids”. “They don’t want him; he doesn’t want them.”
Strangely, they are individually fun, happy, loving people…in pain.
Now, the youngest is graduating from HS, the children refuse to include my son for any family events, such as graduations, marriages, new babies; they refuse to use his last name and they all (son and his children) forbid me from discussing their lives with the others! Those of us who love them are caught, painfully, in the middle.
Is there anything that can be done, at this stage, to help my adult grandchildren from falling prey to this mental disease? Do you know of any therapy options that might help us connect a little?
I love them all, I miss them, and it has been so hard on me too.

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Thu, 19 May 2022 10:34:11 +0000

In reply to Cheryl. I know the feeling Cheryl. I felt like a single dad, and the child was hers from a previous marriage! I hope you're finding peace now.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Thu, 19 May 2022 10:25:56 +0000

You perfectly described the progression of my 30 year marriage with four children and their narcissistic father. The father/child relationship was distant.. I was married (WAS married, now 3 yrs. no contact), yet I lived like a single mother. My description of my ex during marriage was that he always seemed like a vistor in our home, Took no responsibility for anything, even our children.

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Sat, 14 May 2022 08:44:34 +0000

In reply to C.H.. I also wish I learned this stuff years ago. It would have saved me a lot of hassle. But better late than never!

By: C.H.

C.H. — Fri, 13 May 2022 23:49:41 +0000

Bang on point Jon. Fantastic! Now if only I had read this article 6 years ago… ah bless hindsight is wonderful indeed. Thank you.