Hi John. Yes I’ve been on the receiving end of similar. Where they keep disappearing on a night out, and you keep finding them talking animatedly to various strangers. On the plus side, you didn’t get tied down with marriage or children. And you’ve clearly learnt from your experience. So hopefully this won’t happen to you again. Always trust your gut instincts!

I started dating this woman who, at first seemed so nice and caring… I was truly thanking God for sending her into my life, but something immedietley did not sit right with me…. In social settings, she was this wonderful social butterfly… she seemed to want to talk to any and everyone. What was strange about it was that when she talked people, she would be gazing in to their eyes and touching on them… it just seemed weird. But I brushed it off.

Things got crazy soon thereafter…I remember on our 3rd date we went to a bar. We had several drinks and she seemed fine, but she excussed herself to go to the bathroom. I noticed she was gone a long time so I went looking for her and to my surprise… she was making out with a guy near the restrooms. I was livid to say the least. I was able to escort her out of the bar and to her house , but didn’t talk to her until the next day because she was drunk.

The next day when I talked to her about it, she started crying and saying that she didn’t remember and that she blacked out… the story seemed a bit suspicious but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and forgave her.

Fast forward to another outing at a bar… she was drinking and I started seeing her go around the bar talking to people and touching on them… like placing her hand on their chest near their heart as she talked to them.. both men and women. I told her that maybe she should slow down and drink water or we should possibly leave because she has had too many drinks and she told me…

“Don’t tell me what to do. I don’t like being controlled.”

I was so confused. I know she was drunk but it was confusing nonetheless. So I was able to get her home and the next day I talked to her about it and she doubled down on not wanting to be told what to do… then made it seem like it was my fault. I was so confused, but she made me really think that it was something wrong I did to her by questioning her…

She then asked me…”Why are you so jealous? Let’s talk about it.”

Then she made me think that I was jealous and that I needed to work on myself. I mean, yeah I was jealous, but I also did not trust her because of her making out with a guy previously…

I did not know this at the time, but this was showing me her lack of empathy and that she didn’t care about my boundaries or other peoples boundaries for that fact because when she talked to some of the people, I could tell that they were a bit uncomfortable with her touching.

We were off and on over an 8 month period. She discarded me 3 times during that time and I always felt that she was seeing someone else, but she would discard me then hoover and suck me back in. I feel so foolish because I was hoping that I could change her and make her be like she was when I first met her. I am now in the no contact phase after she discarded me a few months ago. She texted me but I did not answer so she has stopped for the past few months in trying to contact me… but thanks for reading. I have not told anyone this because I know I would look foolish to friends and family if I told them this…

I am trying to heal now.

So glad I could help Cheryl. And well done for walking away!

Thanks for your validation jon 🤗 its just so good to hear that l am not the person that he made me feel, l am slowly getting back to my happy go lucky very much single life. If l hadn’t been told about this site l would still be taking his abuse.

Thanks for getting my life back 🙂.

They always try to find a chink in your armour. I’m glad your reading has helped Cheryl!

Yes, unfortunately they’re never satisfied with what you do for them.