Comments on: Why Narcissists LOVE Being Ill

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Sun, 29 Mar 2020 08:17:57 +0000

In reply to Tara. She's definitely showing signs Tara. If you could persuade her to seek medical help, she may be able to make some improvements. Especially as she's relatively young.

By: Tara

Tara — Sun, 29 Mar 2020 04:29:43 +0000

Interesting
I have a young person nearly 21 Now whose father died at 13 do I offered to raise her as her mum is I’d say is damaged
I watch her and always made excuses for her behaviour due to her Background abd tried everything I could – she’d always make rude statements and jokes that were not funny and hurtful and thrives on darns , she also uses every excuses possible excuse Illness like going to
Hospital ( never anything wrong ) or her fathers death to get out of things and I watched her lie and manipulate people over and over – only caring for herself her looks etc which she also used to dominate others and avoid showing care to anyone unless she was going to get something .

I could go on and on -I now realise through some very extreme experiences she lacks empathy I think totally and is actually cruel and maybe dangerous –

I thought maybe she’s headed to BPD or even a sociopath ( as she’s do cruel and done done very scary things )
But reading this it describes her totally

The bit about funerals esp
She loves funerals ……… and also makes comments all the time about when I die she’ll get everything even asking me if I’m sure my will is up to date

Scary stuff .what do others think ?

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Thu, 19 Mar 2020 13:16:47 +0000

In reply to Simone Le-Roux. Another thing about social situations Simone - narcissists often play up so they can be centre of attention!

By: Simone Le-Roux

Simone Le-Roux — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 20:30:21 +0000

This is so classic! My ex was forever getting a bad back or toothache to get out of doing anything and blaming his snappy behavior on feeling ill if I called him out on it! It was particularly obvious on festive occasions like birthdays and Christmas because he wasn’t comfortable being in social situations for any length of time ….I think it was too exhausting to keep up the facade of being “nice “

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 13:43:37 +0000

In reply to Ish. Thanks for your kind words Ish. I'm happy you like it! Yes I don't think there should be hate directed towards them. They are people with mental health problems at the end of the day. Plus hate only hurts the one doing the hating.

By: Ish

Ish — Sun, 15 Mar 2020 12:23:24 +0000

Oh Gosh! What you have described is 99% my ex. I admire your take on this as I have read NUMEROUS articles/comments on this subject but all of these seem to be stories paradoxically about ‘me, me, me..’ Your perspective on this is strangely refreshing and without any anger. Much to be admired.

I am a narc survivor and completely understand the anger and hurt of people talking about their narc-exes, but they are usually a depressing read, so much so that I was considering unsubscribing to this topic, but now I have changed my mind…

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 10:05:20 +0000

In reply to Jeanette. Sounds about right! And I know it's difficult to stand up to them in these circumstances Jeanette. If you had insisted on sleeping in the same bed, I'll wager he'd have said you rolled over his bad arm, whether you did or not!

By: Jeanette

Jeanette — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 10:00:13 +0000

When my ex NPD had carpel tunnel surgery he milked it for 3 weeks moaning and whining and get me this wipe my butt… People would come over and call him a pussy and he didn’t care he just kept it up! He didn’t let me sleep in the bed for 2 weeks, he said knowing you you will roll over on it and I will have to have surgery again! Hahahahaha hahahahaha! But I couldn’t sleep in the other room what if he needed me , so he had me sleep on a cushion on the floor next to the bed. Yep they love all the attention they can get , good or bad it’s all good to them:)

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 09:46:49 +0000

In reply to Trisha. They can NEVER have too much attention, or too many backup plans Trisha. It's quite sad, but many narcissists drop their partner if they become long term ill.

By: JonRhodes

JonRhodes — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 09:44:55 +0000

In reply to Melissa Cohn.

Yes Melissa, there’s lots of positives someone with NPD can draw from illnesses. I’ve also noticed MANY inconsistencies with narcissist’s illnesses. Which is why I’m quite cynical in this area. I worked with several who I’ve had to take to A&E numerous times. And almost every time they’ve said there’s nothing wrong with them!