I agree Cameron, educating myself on narcissism was one of the best things I’ve ever done!

Sorry to hear that. How I try and look at it is that life with them is like wearing lead boots. It’s difficult and draining. But they’ve toughened you up. So once your relationship is over, you’re free from them lead boots weighing you down. So life seems much easier after being used to them dragging you down. It helps me anyway!

I was with a Narc sociopath for 12 years. From 19 years old to around 31.

I was never good enough. I couldn’t conform to the millions of rules she seemed to have (especially after our daughter was borne). She was always right and had to win at all costs. If she didn’t get what she wanted, She was unapologetically emotionally and physically abusive, overbearing, manipulative and extremely controlling.
She also used and abused our 3 kids as leverage and weapons in her arsonel to control and manipulate me to get what she wanted (usually “more” money)

She never contributed financially to the family but would take, take and take, from anybody and everybody she could. All the while I’m working a full time job and trying to earn money on weekends at the local markets to pay the bills, but slowly spinning further down into alcohol dependancy to cope. She never had a job the entire time we were together!

After our separation in 2011, she continued to use our children to get what she wanted until I started to say “NO”. Then she started trying to emotionally and psycologically manipulate our 3 children to reject me. Thankfully, I have always loved and been there for my kids. They still love me.

Now 9.5 years on ( including 9 years of sobriety) and a hell of a lot of pain, I am pleased to say that her attempts to alienate me from my kids didn’t work.

Unfortunately I have not been able to spend as much time as I have wanted with my kids because she would continually create road blocks by sabotaging our planned time together.

I don’t speak to her anymore because my life is much more peaceful this way. She is human garbage. I hate her for what she has done. but I have gotten on with life and am content with it. I have had to constantly let go of anger, rage and desparate thoughts of revenge. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive her but I am finally at peace.

My advice…. take the time to educate yourself on these destructive personality types. If you find yourself involved with one of these people, RUN FOR THE HILLS!

I think when you discover what narcissistic abuse is and that it happened to you, it’s a weight off your shoulders. It explains so much and you truly realize it wasn’t your fault and there was nothing you could have done to make things better.

“I just thought it’s normal issues and she’s a bit difficult.” – Pretty much sums up how I felt too Chris!

It’s good that you let it out. Much better than keeping things bottled up!