Sounds like he was doing the typical devaluing and controlling thing narcissists do. Getting you walking on egg shells around him no doubt.

Him not going into shops is him saying he’s not only above the shop and all the people who go in it. He’s also above you. This is his delusions of superiority. Criticising films you choose – it’s likely he’d have criticised ANYTHING you chose. Just to put you down, so that he can feel above you. And also to knock your self esteem.

Narcissists often project their faults onto others. So if he has no real friends, he accuses you of this. This is a desperate attempt to fool himself and you of his shortcomings.

Hi Barbara. Sorry to hear your story. Enjoying someone’s suffering is a sign of psychopathy. Narcissists usually cause suffering as a by-product of their selfishness, rather than because they enjoy it.

I feel ya, most of my life I’ve been a narcissist magnet. One of my parents was one. Most of my significant relationships have been with them. And many of my friends. I think to some extent they groom you from an early to accept their behaviours. Also their behaviours become normalised because it’s so prevalent around you.

Narcissists and psychopaths seem to be able to smell someone who’s a good fit for them. Someone who’s highly empathetic, has weaker boundaries, and it very forgiving.

I agree with what Rachel has said. Find a therapist that specialises in narcissistic and psychopathic abuse. And don’t be afraid to get rid of them until you find one that properly understands what you’ve been through. Then work with them to unpick your early “training”, working on your boundaries and other issues.

Do some learning on the subject, and as Rachel says, connect with other people who’ve had similar experiences. Quora is great for that. There’s also Facebook groups. I’ll have a think about what to write on the subject. Hope this helps.

That’s terrible! I hope Jon responds with some wisdom as you need help. I have a great therapist who has saved me . Working on boundaries, red flag 🚩 recognition, how I attach and why and inner work / self esteem . You need to accept and realised why you attract them ( ppl pleasing , porous boundaries. Co dependent type ) no offence but this is why and if stems from childhood trauma which you’ve had plenty of And find a therapist you click with who doesn’t just reflect back what you say but can give answers , that specialises in this type of abuse . Who is kind too . It works . I’m looking into EMDR which you only need a few sessions ( they are recommending this for lockdown trauma too ! ) to help.
Don’t date or talk to anyone but good friends etc who are genuine till your healed. Also on Quora there is tons on this topic from all sorts of ppl xxx