Thanks Yvonne. It’s one rule for them, and a different set for you!

I can’t be fixed. Oh, what a pity! {insert sarcastic emjoi here}

For sure narcissists try to reduce the self esteem of those closest to them. Because a person low in self esteem is more controllable. And as we know, narcissists see people as commodities to be used, rather than people in their own right. A person who wants lone time is no use to the narcissist when they want company. Like a faulty toaster that burns the toast. So they try to change you to fit their needs. Like trying to fix the toaster!

“Where’s the harm in that!” Tell that to the narcissist! Or maybe don’t waste your breath since, as you said, they either don’t understand the need for alone-time or pretend they don’t.

My thoughts are that the narc is threatened by anyone who is happy being alone because often it’s a sign of a healthy self-esteem; after all, you need to like yourself in order to be happy with your own company. That’s why they want to destroy that trait since they try to insidiously destroy their victim’s self-esteem by pushing them gradually to accept insults and put-downs and isolating them from their support group such as family and friends and make sure that their significant other has no time or energy for even basic self-care, let alone hobbies, interests and passions.

Somewhere on Quora, I’ve read that narcissists as being “Self-Esteem Reduction Specialists”. The phrase literally gave me a visual of the narc rubbing their hands and smiling delightedly, with the speech bubble over their head reading, “Oh, I’m so excited to have finished my Self-Esteem Reduction degree! I just can’t wait to start making such a difference in the lives of so many people!”

They can be soo good at manipulating! It’s because they put so much energy into it, whilst normal thinking folk don’t!

Thanks for the support Rachel, I will keep posting!

Ah, very interesting Trisha. I’m very similar. I used to feel I couldn’t say I was chilling alone. Narcissists don’t understand the need for lone time, and even if they did, they would pretend they didn’t! But I’ve learned later in life to accept and embrace myself for who I am. I too need plenty of lone time. And I’m never happier than when writing. And where’s the harm in that!

Many narcissists seems to like people who have lots of availability. Probably because they can rock up at a whim whenever they feel like it. So I think you’re right, it’s like being a sitting duck!